If you have to have access your phone at all times for work...

[Anonymous]

... How do you handle doing so around your kids? DD8 lately is very upset that I’m “always” on my phone. She told her dad yesterday that she wishes I would just spend time with them and wishes she could throw my phone in a fire. I’m devastated. (We were watching a movie and I handled a work email on the couch. I thought it was no big deal. I guess I was wrong.) Is it better to keep excusing myself? What’s the best happy medium?

[Anonymous]

It is a struggle but are you able to put it down for an hour, etc.? Then take a few mins to check? Then down for another hour, etc. Or not at all?

[Anonymous]

I would probably keep it in my pocket on vibrate and take frequent bathroom or kitchen breaks to check it out of view of dd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is a struggle but are you able to put it down for an hour, etc.? Then take a few mins to check? Then down for another hour, etc. Or not at all?

I definitely need to check and at least see what the issue is, but I could wait an hour, sure. But she is even tired of me checking. She knows what’s up if I wander off for a minute, too.

[Anonymous]

Apple Watch? Easier to surreptitiously check whether you need to deploy the phone, maybe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apple Watch? Easier to surreptitiously check whether you need to deploy the phone, maybe.

Yes! This is a great option. It allows me to check if anything is urgent but not get sucked into the screen if I don't need to immediately deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Time to have some enforced time away from your phone while spending time with your daughter.

I am actually going to start getting The New Yorker again for this reason. I read for pleasure on my phone, but to my kids it all looks the same (reading, instagram scrolling etc). So if I have something to read while they are playing, it shows I'm not so addicted to a screen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apple Watch? Easier to surreptitiously check whether you need to deploy the phone, maybe.

Yes! This is a great option. It allows me to check if anything is urgent but not get sucked into the screen if I don't need to immediately deal with it.

+1 I am accessible every day to a business as far west as LA and as far east as Hamburg, so roughly 4am to 8pm my time. I keep my watch on vibrate and can easily view enough to know if I need to take immediate action.

[Anonymous]

Do your emails and returned phone calls in the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't sneak off; she knows what you're doing. I would just explain to her that this is a work responsibility and of course you'd like to be able to not check but it's part of your job. Explain to her that you're fortunate to be able to be here watching a movie here with her -- if it were not for your phone, you'd be in the office and not with her. The tradeoff is you need to check occasionally to make sure everything is going ok. Like a doctor on call.

[Anonymous]

I second Apple watch. You can be a little more discrete about seeing the emails come and figuring out when you really need to respond right away. Another thing I like is that I can see daycare app updates in meetings and know if daycare calls without having to bring my phone into every meeting/quick discussion away from my desk with a colleague.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't sneak off; she knows what you're doing. I would just explain to her that this is a work responsibility and of course you'd like to be able to not check but it's part of your job. Explain to her that you're fortunate to be able to be here watching a movie here with her -- if it were not for your phone, you'd be in the office and not with her. The tradeoff is you need to check occasionally to make sure everything is going ok. Like a doctor on call.

I agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't sneak off; she knows what you're doing. I would just explain to her that this is a work responsibility and of course you'd like to be able to not check but it's part of your job. Explain to her that you're fortunate to be able to be here watching a movie here with her -- if it were not for your phone, you'd be in the office and not with her. The tradeoff is you need to check occasionally to make sure everything is going ok. Like a doctor on call.

I agree with this. She needs to understand that you have responsibilities at work. Does she understand that work is what pays for your home, food, activities, etc? I had to explain all that to my kids.

[Anonymous]

Set boundaries. There's no reason you should have to be checking your email constantly during dinner/after-dinner times at home. You should be able to put your phone down between 7-10pm. If you truly can't, then I hope you are getting paid a LOT for always being on call like this; or that for some reason, you have no alternative to this job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't sneak off; she knows what you're doing. I would just explain to her that this is a work responsibility and of course you'd like to be able to not check but it's part of your job. Explain to her that you're fortunate to be able to be here watching a movie here with her -- if it were not for your phone, you'd be in the office and not with her. The tradeoff is you need to check occasionally to make sure everything is going ok. Like a doctor on call.

I agree with this. She needs to understand that you have responsibilities at work. Does she understand that work is what pays for your home, food, activities, etc? I had to explain all that to my kids.

Do you want to model the kind of work-life balance where you don't even get to be offline from 7-10pm most nights?