Do your kids ever not complain

[Anonymous]

About doing stuff as a family? Whenever we suggest doing activities as a family, we’re met with whining and moping. I give in mostly, but sometimes we have events and they don’t have a choice. Do you mostly leave them alone or do you insist they participate despite having to watch them sulk the entire evening. Our house has tons of teen friendly activities to keep them occupied, but sometimes we just want to get out and do other stuff with them. They really just don’t like holiday parties it seems.

[Anonymous]

Ever? Sure. If it is something they want to do that doesn't interfere with something their friends are doing at the same time, they don't complain.

I don't like holiday parties either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:About doing stuff as a family? Whenever we suggest doing activities as a family, we’re met with whining and moping. I give in mostly, but sometimes we have events and they don’t have a choice. Do you mostly leave them alone or do you insist they participate despite having to watch them sulk the entire evening. Our house has tons of teen friendly activities to keep them occupied, but sometimes we just want to get out and do other stuff with them. They really just don’t like holiday parties it seems.

I don't know your kids' ages, but my DS13 is in a private school (we're new to it this year). The school is piling on a lot of end of year tests, projects, expectations. He probably has 6-7 hours of homework this weekend and he just turned thirteen this month (so, still rather young).
There is a lot of stress and he hasn't developed the coping mechanisms yet - when he has free time, he wants to decompress with video games, recreational sport/activity, high interest books, and his phone. A lot of family obligations on top of the twelve hours a day he's putting in with homework, extracurriculars and school is *a lot.*
Even adults struggle with the holiday expectations, end of year work assignments, shopping and feeling like we don't "do enough" like bake cookies, or volunteer, or plan fun outings. It's manic.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on whether they're introverted or extroverted.

[Anonymous]

Twelve hours a day for a kid that young to be “on” is a possible road to mental health issues. You need to address with the school. Is this really how you want your kid to live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Twelve hours a day for a kid that young to be “on” is a possible road to mental health issues. You need to address with the school. Is this really how you want your kid to live?

+1

Six - seven hours of homework in a weekend for a 13 year old is too much. (Unless, of course, he's fooling around for most of that time and it should take him half that.)

[Anonymous]

OP - what ages and what activities? I try to spend time on activities that they will enjoy (ages 14 and 17). I don't drag them to parties if they don't know the people, I do invite friends over for holiday events they will like, I do try to suggest some family stuff the kids want to do (movies, ice skating, etc) and I leave them home for stuff they wont' enjoy but that my DH and I want to do.

I don't drag them to museums very often- they don't love that. But they do like certain things and we try to capitalize on that...

[Anonymous]

I dislike holiday parties. I’m not attending my own for work and neither is DH. There is so much going on at this time of year and so little down time. I don’t want to go to any for friends either. It’s another thing to do. Having unscheduled time at home is the best for all of us.

For the occasional family outing, no one seems to complain when we go to Top Golf as long as the wait isn’t too long or the movies. That includes the kids, DH or me.