Life With 3 Kids?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have two boys - oldest turned 3 in September and youngest turned one in November. We planned to stop at two but we are unexpectedly pregnant with a baby due in May. We are excited but I’m very nervous. Two kids is tough and I’m not sure we can handle a third. We planned our life with only having two kids. I’m also 38 and will have this baby right before I turned 39. My age worries me with risk of complications. It’s been tough keeping up with two young kids and being pregnant. How did you manage three kids?

[Anonymous]

Were you not using birth control? No snark, serious question.

[Anonymous]

with great difficulty. And dreaming of a future that will hopefully be easier

[Anonymous]

With help. And the knowledge that it would get better.

If I did it, you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:with great difficulty. And dreaming of a future that will hopefully be easier

ps. we have severe food allergies here. And zero family help or babysitters. If you have help, and no SN, it would be easy.

[Anonymous]

I don't have 3 children, but my mother was a young, single mom to me and my 2 siblings, and she was a rockstar. If she can do it, you can do it with your husband. Congrats!

The good thing is that your kids are all fairly close in age, so they will be able to do complimentary activities, etc together.

From friends that have multiples, it apparently gets a little easier when they are older because they play and engage with each other (assuming no other issues)

What are your plans for work/career? THat may impact advice from other posters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
From friends that have multiples, it apparently gets a little easier when they are older because they play and engage with each other (assuming no other issues)

Absolutely this. The number of playmates increases as children get added, ditto the number of (well, at least sometimes) helpful hands. But you do have to let things slide even further than you let them slide when you had your second.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were you not using birth control? No snark, serious question.

+1

[Anonymous]

DC1 just turned 3.5 when my third was born. Seems like you will have similar spacing. The first year was a blur and DC3 ended up getting more illnesses than normal because of DC1 starting preschool. They are now 7,5 and 3.5 (almost 4 actually) and life is getting easier every day as my 7 year old can help more and DC3 is becoming more independent. We managed by keeping them involved in similar activities. It's always hard coordinating anything with ever evolving nap schedules. That is just life with 3 under 4. Many times, even now we'll split them 2-1 depending on what makes the most sense.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I'm nervous but we are excited. There is guilt but I'm trying to get past that. It's hard but I'm hoping things will one day be easier. We do family and can hire childcare help. I don't plan to quit my job. We weren't using birth control but thought chances of naturally conceiving were very low.

[Anonymous]

Why did you think the chances were low?

[Anonymous]

Congratulations!

The early years were so happy but challenging, but it absolutely gets easier as the kids get older because they can entertain themselves and each other. If you are the type of parent to offer lots of extracurriculars as the kids age, that can be a logistical issue due to driving one kid one place and another two kids to another etc - to be honest we have hired help for that as well. But this is balanced by the fact that your kids age into drop off activities, you can stagger pickups (kid brings a book and reads in the lobby until his chess lesson while you take the other kid to soccer etc). And yes, there are times that the winter concerts or parent teacher conferences conflict and you can't do every single thing for all three kids, simply because you are outnumbered. But it does teach your three kids to go with the flow.

It is very tiring but a fun tiring if that makes sense. The days are busy and joyful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have two boys - oldest turned 3 in September and youngest turned one in November. We planned to stop at two but we are unexpectedly pregnant with a baby due in May. We are excited but I’m very nervous. Two kids is tough and I’m not sure we can handle a third. We planned our life with only having two kids. I’m also 38 and will have this baby right before I turned 39. My age worries me with risk of complications. It’s been tough keeping up with two young kids and being pregnant. How did you manage three kids?

Now would be a good time for you your DH to get a vasectomy! Too late for you to learn about birth control!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm nervous but we are excited. There is guilt but I'm trying to get past that. It's hard but I'm hoping things will one day be easier. We do family and can hire childcare help. I don't plan to quit my job. We weren't using birth control but thought chances of naturally conceiving were very low.

Obviously, you were wrong.

[Anonymous]

Our youngest of 3 is 7. It’s not hard.

Lot of complainers on this web site.