Need advice about upsetting incident at work

[Anonymous]

I work in a small family run business and generally love my work. It's not perfect, but it works for me at the moment.

There was apparently some kind of miscommunication between departments ( I was off that day so was not there) but one of the Chief Executives was heard to say "f***ing _______" referring to a whole class of workers in our business (think of a profession such as social work, teachers, nurses etc that may not be respected by a hierarchy). As one of that classification of worker, I was very upset and offended. Supposedly this office prides itself on "everyone getting along and working together, blah, blah blah". Our boss apparently addressed it with this female CE. I'm glad I heard about it on Friday because as the w/e has gone on I've been able to put it in perspective. However, I will never look at this woman in the same way. She frequently addresses our group and we are supposed to work collaboratively on various projects. Uck.

How have you managed a situation like this? Any advice?

[Anonymous]

she signs off on your paycheck so you deal with it. otherwise leave and start your own business or find a new job

[Anonymous]

I’m an attorney, and people (including our clients) frequently make unflattering comments about attorneys. It doesn’t upset me and sometimes there’s some truth to it I can laugh at. It isn’t personal to me so it doesn’t hurt.

I think you’ll feel better with time. And hopefully you don’t do a lot of work with the CE who made the comment.

[Anonymous]

Wow, you are really sensitive. Sometimes people say really stupid stuff in the heat of the moment. If it has been addressed move on. That said, I’m a lobbyist so I wouldn’t be able to exist if I was upset every time someone disparaged my profession.

[Anonymous]

OP- I once had a socially inept person at work describe my job as "menial." I wasn't "technical" but I was in charge of an eight figure budget in addition to a host of other highly accountable duties.
Sometimes you just have to know that people are stupid, impulsive, and the things they say are because they don't understand the nature of everyone's job. This dude thought that I was making coffee when I was really a human shield between his work and Federal auditors. I still laugh about it.

[Anonymous]

What do mean you’re looking for advice? You’re an adult and should be able to figure this out. This employee said something stupid, and her supervisor addressed it. The only thing you need to do is your work and do it well. Be a professional. That’s it.

[Anonymous]

Don't waste time being angry, just file the information away and respect that person less (or not at all).

Take the high road, less traffic up there.

[Anonymous]

Did she say “contractors”? I used to hear this at one of my old jobs (I was an employee) and thought it rude and obnoxious. The office was not diverse (in terms of FTEs) and most of the contractors were African American.

At any rate I’d ignore her as much as possible and do my job.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks everyone, good advice here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't waste time being angry, just file the information away and respect that person less (or not at all).

Take the high road, less traffic up there.

Loving this!

[Anonymous]

You don't know what happened exactly because you are getting a story from one or two or more other sources, which is basically gossiping. And whatever happened was addressed by the person's supervisor. YOU HAVE NO ROLE IN THIS. You weren't there and whatever was said or not said wasn't directed at you. Stop gossiping, stay in your lane, and when you get to work on Monday do your job. Act respectfully towards all of your bosses, including the one you've been gossiping about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't know what happened exactly because you are getting a story from one or two or more other sources, which is basically gossiping. And whatever happened was addressed by the person's supervisor. YOU HAVE NO ROLE IN THIS. You weren't there and whatever was said or not said wasn't directed at you. Stop gossiping, stay in your lane, and when you get to work on Monday do your job. Act respectfully towards all of your bosses, including the one you've been gossiping about.

Yes. This. So much this.

[Anonymous]

This is a ridiculous story. OP grow up.

You don’t even know what really happened and you’re deciding whether or not to hold it against this woman? Newsflash, there are always two sides to every story.

MYOB and do your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a ridiculous story. OP grow up.

You don’t even know what really happened and you’re deciding whether or not to hold it against this woman? Newsflash, there are always two sides to every story.

MYOB and do your job.

+100

I still dont see what you're upset about. You weren't even there...everything is heresay. Plus, people swear at work [on occasion and say things in the heat of the moment...as if you have never mumbled anything under your breath before, right?

Faux concern.

[Anonymous]

I think the issue is less the swearing and more the comment about a whole group. I imagine the person said f**king secretaries. That is the group the OP belongs to. And now she will respect the CE less for being a douche about secretaries. (Not sure if that is the group but only one I could think of in a family business- not likely to be teachers or nurses. It was addressed and swiftly. So be glad you work in a place where that sentiment is a super minority and where issues that are not values aligned are addressed and not swept under the rug.

Also don’t gossip. Talk to the source or someone who was there and is your direct chain of supervisory