DS is in my sister’s wedding but doesn’t want to get dressed up
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
Help! My 5 year old DS is resisting the idea of getting dressed up to be a ring bearer in my sister’s wedding next month.
He saw the jacket and tie I ordered for him, said he doesn’t want to be in the wedding and get dressed up. I told him that I’ll walk down the aisle with him, but getting him into dress clothes will be a struggle. Any thoughts? Cajoling, bribing with toys, pretending like I don’t care what he wears in the hopes he comes around... |
Anonymous
| 5 is perfectly old enough to say this is the way it is and you will wear this suit for the 1 hour ceremony. You can change into XYZ afterwards for the reception. 5 isn't 2. Perfectly reasonable to start telling him today that you expect him to wear it without complaining. |
Anonymous
|
This is where I would totally use a bribe and think twice about it. You're expecting something extra for a little kid, I think a little reward is just fine.
I remember when my niece was a flower girl, her mom was at the front with the actual present in her hand (a little necklace she wanted) just for that extra motivation, lol. |
Anonymous
|
I'd bribe. It's a special day, not something that happens often, etc. Pick something you know he'd really want and say he can have it at the reception to play with (assuming it's appropriate). When DS was 4, he was the ring bearer in my best friends wedding. We bribed him for all the sitting around part. Getting ready, pictures, lining up, etc. He got some paw patrol toys to play with at the reception.
|
Anonymous
| Good thing you don't live in the UK. Dressing for school would be a nightmare for you. |
Anonymous
|
Can you ask him what he doesn’t like about it? Can he articulate it well enough to tell you?
When my daughter started kindergarten at catholic school. It turned out that she didn’t like that it wasn’t colorful when she wanted to wear rainbows. So, we figured out what we could do within the confines of the dress code and put a colorful bow in her hair, rainbow earrings, and a colorful glass cross necklace, and she was much happier. |
Anonymous
| Does your husband ever wear a jacket and tie? Can you make a big deal about how handsome daddy looks in his dress clothes? Maybe your little boy will want to look grown up and handsome like dad. |
Anonymous
| What can you do? He’s the boss! |
Anonymous
You don't need to have a ring bearer. I would either let him out of the job or him a comfortable oxford shirt and chino pants. Would he wear that? If not just have the best man hold the ring. We didn't have a ring bearer and all was well. |
Anonymous
| bribe. |
Anonymous
| Mine would be convinced via bribes (treats, a new toy, whatever) and talking up how handsome he will look in the pictures. |
Anonymous
|
Oh come on! He’s FIVE!
I would tell him he’s going to dressed up for the wedding and pictures. Sometimes we have to get dressed up to support other family members and a wedding is one of those times. I’m not opposed to a special toy at the reception, but it wouldn’t be a huge gift, more like a small thank you gift. Maybe a stickerbook or something else he can play with at the table. Also, I would have him try on the clothes a couple weeks before the wedding - just to make sure. If he makes a big deal about it, he gets to try them daily until he quits. No TV until he stops. Maybe even only let him watch his favorite tv show when he’s wearing the clothes. Five is way too old to refuse wearing appropriate clothes for an event. |
Anonymous
Just be glad he’s letting you wear appropriate clothes to the wedding. You did ask your son for permission, right? |
Anonymous
| Around that age my son got upset about dressing up and it turned out he thought we were going to cut his neck open to attach the tie. True story. So I’d suggest trying to find out whether he has some weird fear about the outfit or occasion. |
Anonymous
| Find out why he is resisting and see if you can fix it - without giving in on wearing the clothes. Then bribe him. |