Taking a Career Break

[Anonymous]

Hello all,

It seems like many of the posts about quitting jobs involve people who are earlier in their careers and want to stay home with kids for a while. Or people who’ve jumped around a lot and maybe had multiple resume gaps. The advice is often that it’s really hard to get back in once you leave the workforce. I’m just wondering if their are any with experience like mine.

I’ve worked continuously since graduating from law school 20-ish years ago. I’ve had only two jobs, and I’ve mostly liked the one I currently have. In times where I’ve been relatively less happy with it, I’ve tried to power through or move around internally to get different experiences, because overall it’s been good.

That said, the last few years have been very difficult, both on a work and personal level, and I find myself really thinking about quitting to take some time to refresh and think about what to do withhold the next stage of my life. I have young kids, I had them really late in life, and I feel like I’d like to have some unrushed time with them while they are little. I have an elderly parent for whose care I am responsible (coordinating it) and with whom I’d like to spend time while I still can. The death of another parent — to whom I wasn’t really even close — relatively recently was really hard.

I don’t know. I just feel like I’m not really happy with work and kind of out of ideas on how to power through this time. I feel like I’ve been in a near constant state of triage with work, kids, parent, and some other stuff that’s too much for this post for so long that the best parts of life are passing me by. And I feel like I don’t have the mental space to even think through what I’d like to do with my career because I’m so busy with everything else. I guess I just feel physically and emotionally drained.

So I think more and more about time off. But then I worry about not being able to get back in to something (it would not need to be at same level or particularly prestigious). I worry about recession. I worry about health care (we could go on my spouse’s, but see worry about recession). Also I worry I’m crazy to give up a relatively 9-5, secure, gov job. Financially, we’d be fine most likely, but I do worry about that “what if.”

Any advice? And yes, I know I’m lucky to be even able to consider it, though I think it’s less luck and more that I’ve worked really hard my whole life to have some degree of choice. I just wouldn’t be so comfortable if I thought I’d never be able to get back into the workforce.

[Anonymous]

Can you take FMLA to care for your elderly parent?

[Anonymous]

I would take a FMLA break if possible. Honestly, taking time off when you are older is a bad idea. I'm 50 and had been out of work for a year with a business degree. Trying to get a job has been the most difficult year ever especially in trying to find a role approx to my last. I had to take a lower level job just to get my foot back in the door.

Don't quit your job. Take a vacation or leave of absence.

[Anonymous]

Ditto. I’m in similar situation at similar age.
- Considering to ask for leave w/t pay for a few months. Lucky - boss is nice.

[Anonymous]

I also think FMLA would be a good idea for this.

[Anonymous]

Also chiming in for FMLA- also, don't make decisions while you are still grieving the loss of a parent or under duress.

[Anonymous]

I agree re: availing yourself of whatever leave benefits you have first. You may end up being refreshed and re-energized to return to work. Or you may end up realizing you never want to go back, which is fine too. Hopefully you can lower your expenses if the latter. You only live once, and you shouldn’t be miserable. Good luck OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would take a FMLA break if possible. Honestly, taking time off when you are older is a bad idea. I'm 50 and had been out of work for a year with a business degree. Trying to get a job has been the most difficult year ever especially in trying to find a role approx to my last. I had to take a lower level job just to get my foot back in the door.

Don't quit your job. Take a vacation or leave of absence.

Only quit if you are fine with never working a real job again. At your age, discrimination is rampant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take a FMLA break if possible. Honestly, taking time off when you are older is a bad idea. I'm 50 and had been out of work for a year with a business degree. Trying to get a job has been the most difficult year ever especially in trying to find a role approx to my last. I had to take a lower level job just to get my foot back in the door.

Don't quit your job. Take a vacation or leave of absence.

Only quit if you are fine with never working a real job again. At your age, discrimination is rampant.

Don’t be so dramatic. As boomers retire, GenX will have a bounty of job options

[Anonymous]

Agree with FMLA leave. Honestly, on your deathbed you won’t regret spending more time with your parent and kids. But in the shorter term, it could definitely backfire as other posters are pointing out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with FMLA leave. Honestly, on your deathbed you won’t regret spending more time with your parent and kids. But in the shorter term, it could definitely backfire as other posters are pointing out.

I don’t know. If my quitting means my kids have to take out crippling student loans I might regret that as I’m laying there. Being able to help them get a start in life likely translates into more grandkids to gather round.

My own grandkids don’t know my parents b/c they died in their 70s but we put off having kids until we had financial stability (we both came from working class households)

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,

I am mid 40s and i just left my job at the end of August for a career break. I was also just very drained and needed a break. I posted on here about it too

It was a risk but to me my health and well-being needed to be prioritized. You only get one life and I didn't want to keep living it as it was.

I did a lot of reading about career breaks before going off. Everything I read points to it not being seen as a negative and that it is becoming more and more common. Many fields have built in sabbaticals and this is just a self imposed one.

What seemed important was to have a plan and to be productive during the career break with some tangible goals and to not be off for two long. My plan is to be off Sept-Dec so I will start job hunting in probably mid late October. I have three or four things I want to accomplish while off. So far - two weeks in and I already feel much better!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I am mid 40s and i just left my job at the end of August for a career break. I was also just very drained and needed a break. I posted on here about it too

It was a risk but to me my health and well-being needed to be prioritized. You only get one life and I didn't want to keep living it as it was.

I did a lot of reading about career breaks before going off. Everything I read points to it not being seen as a negative and that it is becoming more and more common. Many fields have built in sabbaticals and this is just a self imposed one.

What seemed important was to have a plan and to be productive during the career break with some tangible goals and to not be off for two long. My plan is to be off Sept-Dec so I will start job hunting in probably mid late October. I have three or four things I want to accomplish while off. So far - two weeks in and I already feel much better!

Not the OP, but can you please come back and report after you’ve returned to work? I’d love to hear about the lasting effects of having taken a break, positive and negative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I am mid 40s and i just left my job at the end of August for a career break. I was also just very drained and needed a break. I posted on here about it too

It was a risk but to me my health and well-being needed to be prioritized. You only get one life and I didn't want to keep living it as it was.

I did a lot of reading about career breaks before going off. Everything I read points to it not being seen as a negative and that it is becoming more and more common. Many fields have built in sabbaticals and this is just a self imposed one.

What seemed important was to have a plan and to be productive during the career break with some tangible goals and to not be off for two long. My plan is to be off Sept-Dec so I will start job hunting in probably mid late October. I have three or four things I want to accomplish while off. So far - two weeks in and I already feel much better!

Not the OP, but can you please come back and report after you’ve returned to work? I’d love to hear about the lasting effects of having taken a break, positive and negative.

I will for sure. I have these occasional brief moments of panic about what I have done but 99% of the time it still feels like the right decision. Time will tell!

[Anonymous]

Honestly if a women not so hard. Perfectly understandable. I know two C level women in DC area who took off a few years when kids were younger. The senior men doing hiring respect it.