What is your parenting fantasy? How far are you from it?

[Anonymous]

Here’s mine:

It’s twenty minutes ‘til dinner. I call downstairs to where my daughters are playing and they start winding down and putting away their games. Ten minutes later they come upstairs and set the table with minimal bickering about who does what (this is a fantasy, okay?), then we all sit down to a delicious meal I’ve cooked and the kids all enjoy it and we have pleasant conversation about our days. Then they clear their plates and go to play with Daddy.

My cranky baby is fifteen months right now, but one of these days I’ll be pretty darn close. I live for that.

[Anonymous]

It’s weird to me that in your parenting fantasy you don’t actually interact with your kids.

My parenting fantasy is like vacation: no one is bored or oppositional, I don’t have to enforce many rules, and someone else does the cooking. So the kids and I just play together!

[Anonymous]

Lol, my kidss are 11 and 13, and what you describe is still not happening at our house. There is definitely several reminders, always bickering, and frequently picky eating, so good luck! Maybe you will do better.

Mine is having them out of the house. 7 years to go. 11 until youngest is done with college. Yeah, the teenage years are tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s weird to me that in your parenting fantasy you don’t actually interact with your kids.

My parenting fantasy is like vacation: no one is bored or oppositional, I don’t have to enforce many rules, and someone else does the cooking. So the kids and I just play together!

Did you miss where we all have pleasant family conversation at the dinner table?

[Anonymous]

It’s weird to me that in your parenting fantasy you don’t actually interact with your kids.

It's weird to me that you would find the need to comment on someone else's fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s weird to me that in your parenting fantasy you don’t actually interact with your kids.

My parenting fantasy is like vacation: no one is bored or oppositional, I don’t have to enforce many rules, and someone else does the cooking. So the kids and I just play together!

[Anonymous]

Four kids around the dinner table all talking and arguing and laughing. I'm an only child, so this was always my fantasy growing up.

[Anonymous]

Living it. Kids are 13 (dd) and 18 (ds). We have at least one meal a week where everyone is present, laughing and engaged. My kids are funny and easy to get along with. They help out and they actually like each other. Every moment is not perfect, but overall, it’s perfectly wonderful. The oldest is going off to college in a few weeks. I’m well aware that these moments will stretch apart, and that makes me sad.

I know we are very fortunate.

[Anonymous]

This is so weird/random but mine is camping. Two little girls in baseball hats, climbing trees and rocks while my husband and I drink beers and set up a campfire for dinner.

My daughters are 2.5 and 3 mos now, so still quite awhile to go, but I am hopeful I will realize this fantasy someday.

[Anonymous]

My youngest is almost 5 and I feel like I have reached it. They are all still sweet and want to be with us, everyone sleeps in their own bed, goes to bed easily, eats regular food, no diapers or bottles, can travel and handle time changes fine and are mostly delightful little people. I am dreading the middle school years because I fear they will no longer be so sweet and loving and happy with so much family time.

[Anonymous]

My parenting fantasy is an easy, uneventful school year for both of my kids. Both kids are happy, learning, and feel good about themselves, have friends, and receive positive feedback from teachers.

In reality, one of my two has SN and school has been complicated for them. I hope this will be the year that's positive for both kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My youngest is almost 5 and I feel like I have reached it. They are all still sweet and want to be with us, everyone sleeps in their own bed, goes to bed easily, eats regular food, no diapers or bottles, can travel and handle time changes fine and are mostly delightful little people. I am dreading the middle school years because I fear they will no longer be so sweet and loving and happy with so much family time.

This sounds like a dream, especially the easy sleeping and traveling part! Were they always good sleepers or did they get there with time? I ask because my current infant + toddler are horrible sleepers and it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. It's starting to color my attitude toward life more generally; everything feels hard when sleep is hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My youngest is almost 5 and I feel like I have reached it. They are all still sweet and want to be with us, everyone sleeps in their own bed, goes to bed easily, eats regular food, no diapers or bottles, can travel and handle time changes fine and are mostly delightful little people. I am dreading the middle school years because I fear they will no longer be so sweet and loving and happy with so much family time.

Mom of teens here: Don’t dread them. The middle school years are not so bad. They can still be sweet and loving and happy with family time. Many still want to cuddle with you on the couch. It’s just that there are some other emotions and moods layered in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My youngest is almost 5 and I feel like I have reached it. They are all still sweet and want to be with us, everyone sleeps in their own bed, goes to bed easily, eats regular food, no diapers or bottles, can travel and handle time changes fine and are mostly delightful little people. I am dreading the middle school years because I fear they will no longer be so sweet and loving and happy with so much family time.

So my only child is 14 and he is sometimes moody, tired, grumpy, etc but I have found that if you keep them well fed and rested (think of when they were toddlers), you will actually enjoy their company. I am a single parent so I have my DS 24/7/365 and he isn't THAT bad. Now I know he is only 14 but most of the time we get along and I enjoy spending time with him. On the bad days, I just look at a few texts he has sent me saying how much he loves me and that gets me through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest is almost 5 and I feel like I have reached it. They are all still sweet and want to be with us, everyone sleeps in their own bed, goes to bed easily, eats regular food, no diapers or bottles, can travel and handle time changes fine and are mostly delightful little people. I am dreading the middle school years because I fear they will no longer be so sweet and loving and happy with so much family time.

This sounds like a dream, especially the easy sleeping and traveling part! Were they always good sleepers or did they get there with time? I ask because my current infant + toddler are horrible sleepers and it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. It's starting to color my attitude toward life more generally; everything feels hard when sleep is hard.

Oh god, no. My youngest cried for two years and wouldn’t sleep I honestly thought I would lose my mind. But then she got a little older and now it is easy breezy! Hang in there.