Help me find a punishment to fit this crime

[Anonymous]

7 year old DS asked to open the Pokemon card set I bought for his friends birthday party tomorrow and I said no, explaining that you can't give an opened set of cards as gift. He did it anyways while I was busy with his sibling and I am SO MAD! We now need to find an extra gift for this kid (meaning another store trip in the next 24 hours), and the cards themselves are messed up so basically $20 is totally down the drain. Giving him the cards is not an option.

I lectured him in the car all the way to camp while he cried his eyes out. What should be his punishment? He does not have $20 to repurchase the gift, nor will he care to miss this kids birthday party as its a neighborhood friend that he doesn't particularly care for at a meh location.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Extra chores to earn back the money (at a rate of $1 per chore).

[Anonymous]

Miss the birthday party anyway. He might claim he doesn't care, but it still fits the crime if he still expects to go.

Make him do something boring during that time, chores or educational work.

[Anonymous]

He needs to buy a new gift with his own money to replace the gift. Either by money he has or by earning money by doing chores.
He also would lose screentime for a couple of days for the outright defiance.

[Anonymous]

uhh I know you're frustrated op, but lecturing him the whole way home while he cries his eyes out is probably enough? He obviously doesn't get the cards, he knows you're upset and you've made clear this isn't ok, that's fine. He's 7 not 13. I would just talk to him tonight when you all are calmed down - make sure he understands why you were frustrated, talk to him about what he was thinking about to better understand why he had a hard time following the directions, help him strategize for next time when he's tempted. If he does something like that again, have him do some chores to earn the money to pay back for the thing. But otherwise I would let it go and remember that kids are still learning impulse control. Doesn't make it ok, but your parents displeasure is often punishment enough especially at that age. Use it as a teaching moment instead of a way to make a punishment fit the "crime"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Miss the birthday party anyway. He might claim he doesn't care, but it still fits the crime if he still expects to go.

Make him do something boring during that time, chores or educational work.

Thats not fair on the birthday kid. ( not OP)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Miss the birthday party anyway. He might claim he doesn't care, but it still fits the crime if he still expects to go.

Make him do something boring during that time, chores or educational work.

Thats not fair on the birthday kid. ( not OP)

I agree. It is so disheartening to have last-minute cancellations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Miss the birthday party anyway. He might claim he doesn't care, but it still fits the crime if he still expects to go.

Make him do something boring during that time, chores or educational work.

Thats not fair on the birthday kid. ( not OP)

I agree. It is so disheartening to have last-minute cancellations.

Agreed, birthday kid shouldn't be punished for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lectured him in the car all the way to camp while he cried his eyes out.

This is an odd way to make your point - distracting environment, no eye contact, no two-way conversation, etc. We always try to separate discussions about discipline or other situations as much as possible, finding a quiet time and place with no distractions. That would be the starting point for addressing the behavior in our house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:uhh I know you're frustrated op, but lecturing him the whole way home while he cries his eyes out is probably enough? He obviously doesn't get the cards, he knows you're upset and you've made clear this isn't ok, that's fine. He's 7 not 13. I would just talk to him tonight when you all are calmed down - make sure he understands why you were frustrated, talk to him about what he was thinking about to better understand why he had a hard time following the directions, help him strategize for next time when he's tempted. If he does something like that again, have him do some chores to earn the money to pay back for the thing. But otherwise I would let it go and remember that kids are still learning impulse control. Doesn't make it ok, but your parents displeasure is often punishment enough especially at that age. Use it as a teaching moment instead of a way to make a punishment fit the "crime"

+1. Seven is still little, and he's learning. I also agree it's not fair to the birthday kid (or their parents) to have your kid miss the party. Which isn't to say I don't completely sympathize with your frustration, OP! But I think another thing to take away from this is to be sure to put things like this where he can't get to them in the future (if there's a place in your house that's safe from a seven-year-old ).

[Anonymous]

He needs to work off the money you have to spend on a new gift. Pulling weeds, cleaning mirrors, dusting, vacuuming, taking out the garbage, etc. "Pay" him like $3 an hour so he has to do over six hours of chores.

In the future, hide gifts for other kids. Clearly the lure is too strong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:uhh I know you're frustrated op, but lecturing him the whole way home while he cries his eyes out is probably enough? He obviously doesn't get the cards, he knows you're upset and you've made clear this isn't ok, that's fine. He's 7 not 13. I would just talk to him tonight when you all are calmed down - make sure he understands why you were frustrated, talk to him about what he was thinking about to better understand why he had a hard time following the directions, help him strategize for next time when he's tempted. If he does something like that again, have him do some chores to earn the money to pay back for the thing. But otherwise I would let it go and remember that kids are still learning impulse control. Doesn't make it ok, but your parents displeasure is often punishment enough especially at that age. Use it as a teaching moment instead of a way to make a punishment fit the "crime"

Agreed. And don't have him miss the party. Especially if it is a place where the parents have already paid.

[Anonymous]

I would probably lectured the same as you but I would probably make him work back the price of the cards AND I would take something of his away like screen time.

[Anonymous]

I would of put the gift away as soon as he said he wanted to open it.

[Anonymous]

Tell him his own birthday party is cancelled.