How strong is your stranger danger sense when it comes to your kids?
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Anonymous
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I generally roll my eyes at the Facebook posts that are like "Two Latino men FOLLOWED ME out of Walmart and got in a TRUCK", but I've had several moments recently where I've thought... I'm pretty sure this isn't anything sketchy, but....
The first was a man who we see regularly but don't know (the people who tend to be at the same sports practice, church service, etc) volunteering to babysit our kids. He has kids much older than ours, but I don't know that I even know his name, so why would I let him near my kids alone? The second was at Michael's-- I checked out, realized I had to go back to the back of the store to get something else, and the two guys behind me in the checkout line followed be to the back of the store, waited as I got something from the framing counter (they stood like 2 aisles away-- they didn't buy anything else), and then followed me out of the store. I didn't have my kids with me at the time, but if I had, I think I might have been one of those people who ask someone from ththe store to accompany them to the car. It makes me feel like maybe I'm paranoid, but I also trust my mom gut for the most part on these things... TLDR: when it comes to strangers, how far do you err on the side of safety when your kids are involved, even if it maybe seems overly cautious or paranoid? |
Anonymous
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I honestly can’t remember a time where I felt the need to proactively move my kids away from someone. They are in my eyesight at all times when they are with me and I’d suspect people are aware they are with me because I’m fairly engaged with them (I don’t hover, but I do step in if needed and watch them pretty consistently).
I also have no recent memories of stranger danger for myself. But I’m almost 6’ tall, so not a perceived easy target. Or maybe it’s there and I’ve got no natural radar. |
Anonymous
| I err very far whether I'm with kid or not. I'm 7 months pregnant and a weird guy catcalled at me in a Panda Express parking lot last night (PSA: Panda express has terrible food). I quickly got out of the area but was read to start yelling and screaming and had my hand on the phone, ready to dial my husband. |
Anonymous
| Strangers are way less dangerous than people you know. You’re not asking about “stranger danger,” OP, you’re asking about gut instincts. |
Anonymous
| OP, don't let your kid wander around Walmart alone, but don't look at everyone who looks your way as if they are an ax murderer (when you do, you look psycho). The should cover it. |
Anonymous
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In the first instance, I found when my kids were little all sorts of random people offered to babysit them. It's just sort of a social nothingburger.
In the second instance, could they have been store security? You went from the cash register back into the "guts" of the store...that's a security issue. |
Anonymous
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I have only felt it one time, we were at an open house for a camp, and as soon as we arrived the director? started touching me and my kid (on the shoulders) as we participated in a sample activity. I just had a bad feeling, moved my kid away, and we left.
Probably was me being paranoid, but I will always leave if something doesn’t feel right. |
Anonymous
| My gut has proven correct in the past, so I listed to it now. A few years ago, I just had the sense that this guy was following me from Eastern Market metro as I head home (North to more residential/less foot traffic areas). He totally could hve been headed home, there was just something about how he seemed to be walking at the same speed as me even when I sped up/slowed down. I stopped in what used to be P&C Market (now Wine and Butter) and called my DH to come pick me up, however ridiculous that sounded. Well, I heard the next day that two people were mugged in the area in the 30 minutes or so after I called. I stopped into a local precinct and told them about my experience. Same guy. They caught him thanks to someone’s find my phone. One victim ended up with a broken wrist from being knocked to the ground. Anyway, now when someone gives me the creeps, I listen to my gut... even if it’s probably usually overkill. |
Anonymous
| I trust very few people to be alone with my kids. To your other example: I was followed out of a grocery store by a guy. I looped around and went back in and asked someone at the service desk to walk me to my car. The guy was lurking by the door when we exited. If my spidey sense goes off, whether I'm with my kids or not, I listen to it and ask for help. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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Op, your examples are totally different. One guy actually spoke to you and said something that's not socially normal. The other incident was either a coincidence or security.
The ratio of reports of strange men following women in Walmart to actual incidents of women being kidnapped in broad daylight is probably something like 10 to ZERO. It just isn't happening. Being mugged in your average Target parking lot is not common either. |
Anonymous
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I think that both men and women participate in socializing women to be afraid. Even though it's not common that women are kidnapped in broad daylight, men who catcall and follow women participate in reinforcing fear. You don't *know* which man is "just" catcalling or otherwise engaging in harassment, and which one is going to be violent. Women also tend to (perhaps justifiably) socialize their daughters and other women toward more conservative behaviors than men.
I think it's entirely possible that most of us walk through life in BOTH states -- justifiably nervous in certain situations, and paranoid in others. It's like asking how skinny you should become before you are "too skinny" -- there's no right answer, the whole construct depends on always not being comfortable in your own skin. |
Anonymous
| I’ve never felt in danger from anyone in a shop. I have felt in danger from homeless people who seem psychotic, though. |
Anonymous
| People i know are creepier than strangers. Now, if there's someone with a MAGA hat, I will tell my kids to run |
Anonymous
| Assuming there was, in fact, something shady going on in the 2nd instance they were after your kids? Hell they could've been after you! |