Early retirement, SAHM to school aged kids

[Anonymous]

I’m retiring in the summer at age 48. I spent my 20’s, 30’s and most of my 40’s working 60+ hours a week with a hectic travel schedule and now am officially burnt out and done. My kids are 6, 6 and 8. I plan to stay at home but want to find something productive to do while they are at school, that will allow flexibility sick days, vacation and travel. I’m looking at volunteer opportunities. Has anyone done something like this? I basically can devour 20- 30 hours a week with flexibility.

[Anonymous]

So, I think you should literally do nothing for the first year. You may find that there are more opportunities at the kids' school than you realized when you simply couldn't participate because of work. 20-30 is a lot more than you think. That basically equates to 4-6 hours per day. The school day is about 7. It you take on that much, you won't have as much time as you think for groceries, cleaning, errands, school volunteering. I hesitate to say this but I am guessing you have previously had a nanny who did this stuff and helped with cooking. If so, and if you are now taking on these tasks, give yourself time to get in the groove. And at 6 and 8, your kids are just really gearing up for after school activities and you will be the point person for that as well as for getting homework done. So let yourself experience being a SAHM without ANY other responsibilities and see how it feels. I am not saying you can't do it. I work part time from home and really enjoy it but I work less than 15 hours a week and when my work talks about increasing my workload, I am pretty blunt that this point I don't want it. I didn't walk away from a promising career to suddenly put my kids in child care for the piece work I like to do. Give yourself a little time before jumping into something. Plus, you may find there are areas of work or school or volunteerism you didn't even know existed when you are out in the world in a different way. Give yourself time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, I think you should literally do nothing for the first year. You may find that there are more opportunities at the kids' school than you realized when you simply couldn't participate because of work. 20-30 is a lot more than you think. That basically equates to 4-6 hours per day. The school day is about 7. It you take on that much, you won't have as much time as you think for groceries, cleaning, errands, school volunteering. I hesitate to say this but I am guessing you have previously had a nanny who did this stuff and helped with cooking. If so, and if you are now taking on these tasks, give yourself time to get in the groove. And at 6 and 8, your kids are just really gearing up for after school activities and you will be the point person for that as well as for getting homework done. So let yourself experience being a SAHM without ANY other responsibilities and see how it feels. I am not saying you can't do it. I work part time from home and really enjoy it but I work less than 15 hours a week and when my work talks about increasing my workload, I am pretty blunt that this point I don't want it. I didn't walk away from a promising career to suddenly put my kids in child care for the piece work I like to do. Give yourself a little time before jumping into something. Plus, you may find there are areas of work or school or volunteerism you didn't even know existed when you are out in the world in a different way. Give yourself time.

+1

Do a bit at school for now and see what else is out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I’m retiring in the summer at age 48. I spent my 20’s, 30’s and most of my 40’s working 60+ hours a week with a hectic travel schedule and now am officially burnt out and done. My kids are 6, 6 and 8. I plan to stay at home but want to find something productive to do while they are at school, that will allow flexibility sick days, vacation and travel. I’m looking at volunteer opportunities. Has anyone done something like this? I basically can devour 20- 30 hours a week with flexibility.

You don't sounds burned out. You sound tired of the demands from your current job but not burned out. Is there a part time job you could work at with your current job, perhaps 20 hours a week?

I am not being a naysayer, if you want to stay at home and you can do so then go for it but your post does not scream burnt out or I want to be a SAHM.

That said, I have been amazed how much time I can toss into my kids Cub Scout Pack, it shouldn't be hard to find things to do that will take up your time. I suspect that you are not going to find much to engage you in the way that you want to be engaged.

[Anonymous]

I am a doctor and volunteer rather than work for pay for exactly the reasons you are describing. If I can’t go, then I can’t go. I love my work, but I couldn’t stand working holidays just because “the clinic needs to be open,” not getting vacation when my husband had off, emergency childcare for sick days and snow days, etc. Plus I don’t have to deal with anyone’s insurance, I document in the way that makes sense to me, and all of my patients are very kind and appreciative of my time. I am so much happier doing this. My husband went into a much more lucrative specialty, so my income wasn’t doing much for our finances anyway.
Anyway, I agree with the above posters to take some time and see how many hours you really have available to volunteer, then just keep your eyes and ears open to see if something comes up in your area of expertise.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PP who said do nothing for a year and see how you feel. Decompress a bit first and then start making decisions about what to do next.

[Anonymous]

I retired last year at 46. We are twins. I let go of our nanny and the maid now comes in every month instead of every two weeks. Also I had a part time helper (8 hrs a week) who I let go. So I didn’t have much time left. I started volunteering for the school and another organization I like. My kids are 7, 5.

[Anonymous]

You guys are so inspirational. I have been thinking about retiring. I'm about your ages, have been working for 30 years, have some small kids, one with SNs and I have a chronic condition which I am poorly managing. While I have a great job, I resent it and I've never felt that way about a job before. I've also never wanted to quit before except the last 6 months when everything wasn't every well controlled. I think it takes courage to do what you've done and right now I don't have it. I also have a "thing to do" locally that uses the skills that I now use in the private world for volunteering.

[Anonymous]

Go op, do it and don’t look back.

But where are the DCUMers who say bring a SAHP of little kids = bon bon eating moochers? Have they not woken up yet?

[Anonymous]

You’re retiring like living off your savings or you’re “retiring” like living off your husband? That would influence my answer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re retiring like living off your savings or you’re “retiring” like living off your husband? That would influence my answer

Agreed. Those are two totally different things. For example, only one is properly described as "retiring."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re retiring like living off your savings or you’re “retiring” like living off your husband? That would influence my answer

Agreed. Those are two totally different things. For example, only one is properly described as "retiring."

I posted above. When I entered the marriage, I had 2/3s of our savings and he had 1/3. Over the course of our lives, I have out-earned him now early over 100K more than he does. I've made 100K more than him at least for the last 5 years so yes, I'll be living off of my initial savings, my money, and I also have always done 3/4 of the home life.

[Anonymous]

I'm at home (I work very part time from a home office) and have an upper elementary student and a HS student. I find the HS years getting busier and busier.

My HS student is self-managing with homework, but the experience of having a HS student is far more intense that I expected. Mainly, I'm providing encouragement (HS today is STRESSFUL and students are very anxious). I am glad to be present. It's hard to believe how fast this time is going. Off to college in only a few years! You won't regret it, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm at home (I work very part time from a home office) and have an upper elementary student and a HS student. I find the HS years getting busier and busier.

My HS student is self-managing with homework, but the experience of having a HS student is far more intense that I expected. Mainly, I'm providing encouragement (HS today is STRESSFUL and students are very anxious). I am glad to be present. It's hard to believe how fast this time is going. Off to college in only a few years! You won't regret it, OP.

Agree. Didn’t realize there were a few of us and no bashers yet. I retired at 45 after 20 yrs in the corporate world and an advanced post graduate degree.
We have saved well and half of it is mine. We don’t save much now but our investments are growing well. New MS student here and didn’t realize how intense it is. I am 52.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys are so inspirational. I have been thinking about retiring. I'm about your ages, have been working for 30 years, have some small kids, one with SNs and I have a chronic condition which I am poorly managing. While I have a great job, I resent it and I've never felt that way about a job before. I've also never wanted to quit before except the last 6 months when everything wasn't every well controlled. I think it takes courage to do what you've done and right now I don't have it. I also have a "thing to do" locally that uses the skills that I now use in the private world for volunteering.

Go for it. Health if not managed, can only get worse and much faster as one ages. Take care of yourself.