Trying to go away without kids for first time. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

DH is going to a conference in the spring and I want to go with him without kids. We were planning to go somewhere in May for our anniversary but we decided to just combine our couples getaway with dh’s conference.

I have a 2yo toddler and 2 kids in elementary. Older kids are pretty self sufficient. Biggest issue is fighting when too much time at home.

My parents are willing to come watch the kids but my father has Parkinson’s and he is more a liability than helpful. My mom is in her 70s and I think it would be a lot for her to juggle all 3 kids AND my dad. Toddler also has separation anxiety and doesn’t even go to my parents. My mom is not a good driver and unfamiliar with our neighborhood so I wouldn’t want her driving kids around.

I have a PT nanny we pay an hourly rate of $20/hr. She usually helps me out with the toddler twice per week and DH and I have a weekly date night where she sits for us. Nanny used to be our FT nanny when I used to work FT and have just 2 kids.

Toddler still wakes up once or sometimes twice per night. I’m afraid she will not go back to sleep and be a mess if grandma tries to put her down or tend to her at night.

WWYD?

A. Take toddler with us and leave older kids with grandparents. Kids can get on and off school bus.

B. Have DH go to conference first and I join him on third day. Ask nanny to spend 2 nights at our house with my parents.

C. Just ask nanny to watch all 3 kids and pay her well.

How much should we pay her for say 3pm Fri-Sunday 9pm?

When we had 2 kids only, we asked same nanny to help my parents out during the day. My kids were fine with grandparents though. Nanny didn’t need to spen the night and my older kids were always excellent sleepers. This third child is a terrible sleeper.

[Anonymous]

B or C, $600.00

[Anonymous]

FIx your toddler's sleep.

[Anonymous]

Sleep train your toddler for starters. Then pay your Nanny to work FT if she is able to, maybe not the mornings if you think your Mom can handle getting them all breakfast then older 2 off to school. So have the Nanny work from 9am until 8pm or whenever bedtime is. Pay her her normal hourly rate.

[Anonymous]

I did this as a Nanny. The family went away once a year and the Grandparents came to handle the overnights. My normal hours were 630am-530pm. When the Grandparents came I went in at 8am and left around 5pm. ( Got paid the same)

[Anonymous]

Do your parents want to come? Does your mom think she can handle it?

I would probably just pay the nanny a bunch to stay the whole time and not bother with your parents (unless they’ll be offended)

[Anonymous]

B or C definitely, I don’t know about cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do your parents want to come? Does your mom think she can handle it?

I would probably just pay the nanny a bunch to stay the whole time and not bother with your parents (unless they’ll be offended)

+1

[Anonymous]

You need to work on your kids behavior. Personally I would not go if kids are acting up/not sleeping. Its not fair to your mom to deal with three kids and parkinson's. You clearly don't understand how much your mom and dad are going through. If babysitter stays you should pay her at least $1000 for 24/7 care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do your parents want to come? Does your mom think she can handle it?

I would probably just pay the nanny a bunch to stay the whole time and not bother with your parents (unless they’ll be offended)

My parents do want to come. These are their only grandchildren.

I may have parents watch big kids and have nanny watch toddler.

We had nanny spend the night many years ago when we had 2 kids. I think we paid her $200 to sleep and regular rate during day. My kids slept through the night and she just had to sleep in the house.

What if we offered nanny $1500 for weekend?

[Anonymous]

Just pay the nanny to watch them for the time you are gone. No nanny wants elderly grandparents around when they are working. Also, sleep train your toddler already. You should've done that a while ago.

[Anonymous]

Ask nanny and pay her Extremely well, hourly rate plus OT.! Why would you even think a 70-,yr old woman could handle your toddler not you mention your father with Parkinson's ?!

You make an offer the nanny won't want to refuse. If you are going to be gone for a week, $250/day for week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do your parents want to come? Does your mom think she can handle it?

I would probably just pay the nanny a bunch to stay the whole time and not bother with your parents (unless they’ll be offended)

My parents do want to come. These are their only grandchildren.

I may have parents watch big kids and have nanny watch toddler.

We had nanny spend the night many years ago when we had 2 kids. I think we paid her $200 to sleep and regular rate during day. My kids slept through the night and she just had to sleep in the house.

What if we offered nanny $1500 for weekend?

Your nanny does not want to take care of your kids with a grandparent with Parkinson's! You have your parents come when YOU are home.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think I'd just pay nanny to do the weekend, starting at 3pm on Friday.

Then I'd invite my parents to come the weekend before or after (or some other great weekend close to this trip weekend) and have them just come and be grandparents while you are there. Explain that the youngest is a nightmare at bedtime, still gets up, I worry Dad and you will get too tired with your sleep being interrupted, and the baby knows the nanny, so we won't need you to come. BUT do please come a weekend close to that because we so want to see you, Mom and Dad, but then you get to be grandparents, not babysitters!

[Anonymous]

C. If I were your nanny I would not want to stay at the house with your parents. We've paid overnight sitter their normal hourly rate for day hours then $100 for the overnight. My kids were elem and middle school and never woke at night barring illness. For a waking toddler, I'd probably pay $200 for overnight.