Down side of breastfeeding...need advice

[Anonymous]

My DD is 4 months old and has been EBF. I did not give her a bottle of BM until probably close to 6+ weeks because of fear of nipple confusion. She did not like the bottle at all but would eventually take it. I was pumping in the evening so that my DH could give her a bottle- but it always ended up with her refusal. I think that he was not giving her enough time- (very little patience). The thing is that I go into the office once a week and our sitter has no problems giving her the bottle. Just this past weekend my DH had her and she did not eat the first day until I got home and the second day was better but it was still a fight. Needless to say my DH is very upset that he cannot share in this experience. I have tried a couple different nipples but I think that I need to try more- but as a result my DH does not want to try to feed her anymore because he feels that it is a negative interaction now and wants to only focus on the positive. I feel so bad that he cannot share in this type of bonding with our DD...Will this affect their relationship? Any suggestions???? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Plenty of dads don't give their babies bottles, and still have a tight relationship. I'm sorry your baby doesn't want to take a bottle from your husband, but some babies don't or won't take bottles from anyone. There are still plenty of ways for them to bond. Now that she is 4 months old, she is more interactive - they can play together, he can dance her around the room while singing to her, he can snuggle with her - at this age, changing diapers is still a positive interaction - get him to change all the dipes when he's home.

[Anonymous]

Two kids. Neither took bottles. Both worship daddy. He helped out in bunches of other ways so it never seemed to have an effect.

[Anonymous]

It took a really long time before DD took a bottle or even considered taking one from daddy. She's one now and currently crawling all over him. Totally bonded, no problems.

[Anonymous]

If she trusted daddy less, she would have taken the bottle from him. So, it is sad that dad and daughter won't get to share this one experience, but they will get to share many others.

You really don't have to worry about the bonding part. That is clearly happening just fine.

[Anonymous]

Looks like the PPs said what I was going to say, so I won't repeat.

I do want to add one thing - you mentioned nipple confusion and trying to get DD to more easily take the bottle - perhaps you could use a nipple shield every few times when DD nurses. That way it sorta sublimely introduces a nipple. Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

Of course your baby and husband will bond! I hope you don't worry too much about that!

But . . . a couple points in your post really stuck out -- how does the sitter get the baby to eat? Also, you said that DH was not patient enough -- now that it potential issue but one that can be easily remedied. I also have a 4 month old who is not a fan of the bottle but will take it when very hungry. We tried several bottles and nipples before settling on Dr. Brown's. DH waits until she is really hungry (slightly after a normal feeding interval) and then he plans that it will take a while. They sit in a quiet area together and he gentle offers again (and again and again). Sometimes she plays with the bottle, sometimes she cries, sometimes she eats. But each feeding gets easier he reports.

It may not be worth the stress for you guys to continue, but I really appreciate the fact my DH kept at it. It has given me piece of mind that should I need to be out, DC will be able to eat without me.

[Anonymous]

I went back to work at 6 weeks PP. As if my DD KNEW it was coming, she suddenly REFUSED the bottle from my DH even though she had taken it a few times previously in the first weeks when my nipples were so sore, I pumped and fed her. I was SO stressed about going to work.. I thought she'd starve.. They stuck it out a few days, but she'd barely eat anything... when I'd get home, she'd eat ravenously.. then, she slowly took a little at a time from DH and then-- they worked it out. I don't think it will effect your child and husband's bonding whatsoever, but I know that my husband's confidence in caring for her went up significantly once she started taking the bottle from him. People told me, "don't worry-- she'll get hungry eventually and figure it out"-- she sure did. It's nice for me now having the freedom of her going from breast to bottle and back several times a day without problems! Good luck!

[Anonymous]

My 4 month old (son) takes a bottle from his nanny (though with some reluctance on Monday mornings) but won't do it from my husband without much coaxing and hunger. He even took a bottle from my brother, so now DH is getting a complex

Have the sitter show your husband what she does (position, way she talks to the baby, dark or light room, etc). My older son, at 5 months, would only take a bottle from someone who sang to him softly. Also, my little guy won't drink from the Medela nipples or the Gerber nuks, but does better with the Avent ones, so do try a bunch of different nipples to see if it makes a difference.

[Anonymous]

I am the original post of this message- thank you all for your insights and great advice!