My 11yo DD is reading smut!

[Anonymous]

I am so upset. My 11yo DD has been glued to her Kindle recently. Turns out she’s been reading romance novels with very very explicit sex scenes. I grew in a very conservative Asian household so I don’t know how to handle this. Is this ok? I can’t forbid at this point because the cat is already out of the bag. Help!!

[Anonymous]

Surprise! She's a curious, sexual, healthy human being. She's not oppressed like you were. Guess what? She's probably masturbating too!

[Anonymous]

Better to read it than watch it.

Talk to her. Tell her your concerns. Nothing makes smut less sexy than hearing your mother talk about it.

And maybe encourage her to widen her reading horizons other ways.

[Anonymous]

It’s too early. I’d take kindle away.

[Anonymous]

OP again, just to clarify, she is not reading YA romances. This book is definitely for adults. Please folks, I need some useful advice and not a DCUM putdown festival.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Better to read it than watch it.

Talk to her. Tell her your concerns. Nothing makes smut less sexy than hearing your mother talk about it.

And maybe encourage her to widen her reading horizons other ways.

It’s normal and natural. Don’t give her a complex.

[Anonymous]

It’s not too early. It’s safe and it’s personal.

Leave her be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again, just to clarify, she is not reading YA romances. This book is definitely for adults. Please folks, I need some useful advice and not a DCUM putdown festival.

It’s fine, honestly. I read adult sexual romance very early too. It didn’t make me less of a person. I didn’t lose my virginity early or have multiple partners. I got good grades, and read a lot. All will be fine.

[Anonymous]

At 11 I was reading Flowers in the Attic.

OP, it's fine. I wouldn't buy her books with sex scenes or anything, but it's fine. I would talk to her about it the same way I talked to my kids about porn. "This is produced for entertainment purposes. It is NOT a realistic portrayal of what sex is like between two people who love each other." And then depending on their interest and maturity I go into some amount of details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again, just to clarify, she is not reading YA romances. This book is definitely for adults. Please folks, I need some useful advice and not a DCUM putdown festival.

You're being given useful advice. Nobody's put you down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again, just to clarify, she is not reading YA romances. This book is definitely for adults. Please folks, I need some useful advice and not a DCUM putdown festival.

You're being given useful advice. Nobody's put you down.

Sorry I typed that before the responses had posted. I am totally freaking out.

[Anonymous]

Is she buying these books or checking them out from the library?

[Anonymous]

It’s normal and healthy. Don’t shame her. Get her a good book on puberty/sexuality. The publishers of American Girl Doll have a good one.

[Anonymous]

You can’t censor what someone reads. At least not when they’re a tween or older.

[Anonymous]

Seriously. You've gotten advice from both sides.

You can take the Kindle away and tell her she's too young for that kind of reading and why.

or

You can tell her why you don't want her to read it, let her keep the Kindle, and check in to see if she's following your rules.

or

You can tell her why you don't want her to read it, but accept that she will and continue on your way.

Which seems like the best option for you?