My 10 year old DD still cannot put her shoes on the right feet

[Anonymous]

She still has to fit them together to see if she’s got them on the right feet. She doesn’t just “ see it”.


She hasn’t been red flagged for anything. She’s an excellent student, behaves.wellat school at home. The only thing her teachers have ever mentioned is that she’s very quiet, but are never to concerned because she does interact with her peers. Too me she always seems on the fringe of things, but she seems happy. She’s a “ young “ 10 in that she still likes dolls and make believe and many of her peers have moved on. Which I think at 10 I’d rather have her into dolls than boycrazy.Her pediatrician isn’t concerned. My husband thinks I’m being ridiculous. I have this nagging feeling that something isn’t right, but everyone else is telling me I’m wrong. I don’t know what to do..

[Anonymous]

Could be an executive function issue.

Could be eyesight.

Could be an OCD like ritual, which many normal kids have at this age.

If this one minor problem is not affecting her life, I would let it go.

[Anonymous]

Have you thought of an occupational therapy assessment?

Does she make other similar mistakes, like put her shirt on backwards or inside-out?

[Anonymous]

Get a second opinion. It could very well be absolutely nothing but it is worth it for peace of mind.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PPs suggesting an occupational therapy assessment (ask at her school) and a second opinion from a different pediatrician.

I'm a mom and a teacher. I'm a great believer in following your instincts. This is your kid and you know her well. If you think there is something then there probably is.

Are there any other things that seem a little non-typical? How is her general sense of space and spatial orientation? If you ask her to turn left or right, does she immediately know which direction? If you throw her a ball without much warning will she catch it?

I wouldn't go nuts over it though since it seems like she is functioning well and she seems happy. The happy is the most important part btw! What you don't want is for her to feel and begin to believe that there is something "wrong" with her. That would be devastating.

So ask at school about the OT assessment and consider an evaluation from a different pediatrician, and go from there. If nothing pops from those two then whatever it is isn't inhibiting her enough to make a large difference in her life and let it be. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I also believe in following your instincts, but be cautious here. She is at an age that her mom seeing something wrong with her could be hurtful.

So I would try to get curious about how she feels about this. Does it bother her? Is it all shoes or just ballet flats which can be hard. Or as one previous poster said, is this just a habit she has gotten into. One of my friends is an “absent-minded professor” type. She checks her shoes, purse and phone every time she leaves the house because one day in a hurry she slipped on her shoes onto the wrong foot and only noticed when she got a sore spot as she was walking her dog. They were loose Keds type shoes.

I wouldn’t engage the school- their OT services are terrible and it makes the concern too public. I also sincerely doubt you could make the case for educational impact.

A few years ago my DD, who is dyslexic, was worried about some coordination issues. So we got a referral from her pediatrician for an OT evaluation. They didn’t flag any diagnoses but did suggest some additional practice at things like shooting baskets to improve accuracy.

It was reassuring to her to hear that it wasn’t anything serious, just skills she hadn’t developed through enough attention or practice. But again- this was her concern, not mine.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I definitely don’t want to make her feel insecure or think there’s something “wrong “ with her. This is all my concerns not teachers, pediatrician, DH or DD. She’s a happy kid a little quirky but happy and her peers seem to like her.

She does this with all shoes and going back a few years she had trouble learning to tie her shoes. She can do it now, but really has to focus on it. She also mixes up left and right. We often tell her “ the other right “ she needs to physically orient herself to figure out, but sometimes I think it’s because she’s not really paying attention and tends to be a bit spacy. I think she has average coordination , she’s not athletic but neither am I or her father.

[Anonymous]

I agree, trust your instincts. I definitely think you need to have her screened, and I don't think that that sends a signal that there's anything "wrong" with her any more than taking her to the doctor for an illness would. There is something going on that's not normal, and you need to try to diagnose it so she can get the appropriate therapy. I don't think I'd bother with the pediatrician again unless it's someone who specializes in these types of issues.

[Anonymous]

What's her sense of direction like overall? I was a (undiagnosedly anxious) but generally happy, quirky, on the fringe of things at times 10 year old. I had definite problems learning large motor type activities (soccer, softball, skating, skiing), and a miserable time learning how to navigate in a car/on a bike. It turned out to be a nonverbal learning disability. While I may "know" my left and right, and didnt have the exact same struggles you're describing with shoes, I frequently still had to do some mental figuring to figure out stage directions from the audience (the opposite of left and right,) and frequently can get turned around leaving a store for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's her sense of direction like overall? I was a (undiagnosedly anxious) but generally happy, quirky, on the fringe of things at times 10 year old. I had definite problems learning large motor type activities (soccer, softball, skating, skiing), and a miserable time learning how to navigate in a car/on a bike. It turned out to be a nonverbal learning disability. While I may "know" my left and right, and didnt have the exact same struggles you're describing with shoes, I frequently still had to do some mental figuring to figure out stage directions from the audience (the opposite of left and right,) and frequently can get turned around leaving a store for example.

This is me-- and I still have a left/right problem. If it's relevant, I have anxiety and ADHD (inattentive) that was not diagnosed until my 20s-- and was also IDed as "gifted" at a young age.

[Anonymous]

Dyspraxia or similar. There is definitely something "wrong" but not necessarily "wrong with her" you don't need to pass judgment just get her help.

[Anonymous]

Is she left handed? I feel like these orientation issues are so much harder for us. It’s not intuitive like it is for right handed people. I have to consciously think about it or I mix things up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she left handed? I feel like these orientation issues are so much harder for us. It’s not intuitive like it is for right handed people. I have to consciously think about it or I mix things up.

I wondered about this, as well. My DS is left handed, and there are certain things (like tying shoes) that were very hard for him. I thought he just had bad hand/eye coordination, but then I realized that learning to do things like that from right handed people was very difficult. I do think it transfers to orientation issues, also.