Social climate at Georgetown Day School

[Anonymous]

Another non-Jewish GDS family here. In fact, the large majority of the children in my DD's LS class are not Jewish. A striking mix of children of color, mixed race, and white (Jewish, Christian, atheist, agnostic). Spend a few hours at the LS lobby and you'll see for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Another poster mentioned bullying. I want to add to that comment. From my experience and those of several friends, bullying can be badly mismanaged at GDS. There is a reluctance to call a spade a spade, and to deal with the issue in a timely and appropriate manner. The victims and their families can be left cold dealing with it and recovering essentially on their own because of this reluctance. On the plus side, there isn't a lot of bullying. But when it happens, god help the victim because GDS will not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Georgetown Day is superb academically, the classroom atmosphere impressed me as dynamic and vibrant, and I have heard that they do a good job of accommodating children's individual interests and abilities, but we did not choose GDS for DC in 7th grade. Mostly GDS was just too liberal for us.

First, the practice of children's addressing adults by first names did not suit us.

Second, we were told at an upper-school presentation (which GDS encourages you to attend if you are applying to middle school), that ANY club that a student proposes is permitted. Really? Any? That is just too permissive and undicriminating in our view.

Third, my DC was turned off during his visit by the students' eating popcorn and drinking cocoa during class. He thought that was strange. He also did not like the idea of teachers' wearing pajamas to school on pajama days. So the school was not a good fit for him, clearly.

And, finally, I got an interesting glimpse of the permissive culture when I was waiting in the lobby to pick up DC after his visit. A bunch of middle schoolers sat in the chairs next to me and put their feet up on the coffee table in front of me. A teacher walked by and admonished, "Feet off the table, please. We have a visitor!" Really? Sounded as if feet on the table are okay when visitors aren't around.

Recently, another prospective parent told me the same story of feet on the coffee table, and I was astonished.

OMG. Are you serious?

Yes, I am serious. Why is it so hard to believe? Every child is different, and perhaps your child would enjoy eating and drinking in class?

I am getting nauseous thinking about some of my former teachers in their pajamas.

[Anonymous]

Re bullying: I am a GDS parent of a child who was bullied in MS, and it was handled swiftly and, I believe, properly. It was not an egregious case of bullying, and since it was cyberbullying and there were witnesses, it was not a "close case." I think what impressed me the most was that the administrators did not make my child feel like the problem; in my experience at another school, because the bullied child was already engaged with the administrators, and the bully tried to avoid them, all the attention focused on how my kid could avoid being bullied in the future, and the perp really got away from even a scolding.

I agree with the PPs who suggest that bullying is less of a problem at GDS than other schools, because of the culture of tolerance that seems really to become embedded at an early age.
Again, I can't say anything about the handling of bullying across the board, and I can imagine it varies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Georgetown Day is superb academically, the classroom atmosphere impressed me as dynamic and vibrant, and I have heard that they do a good job of accommodating children's individual interests and abilities, but we did not choose GDS for DC in 7th grade. Mostly GDS was just too liberal for us.

First, the practice of children's addressing adults by first names did not suit us.
Second, we were told at an upper-school presentation (which GDS encourages you to attend if you are applying to middle school), that ANY club that a student proposes is permitted. Really? Any? That is just too permissive and undicriminating in our view.
Third, my DC was turned off during his visit by the students' eating popcorn and drinking cocoa during class. He thought that was strange. He also did not like the idea of teachers' wearing pajamas to school on pajama days. So the school was not a good fit for him, clearly.

And, finally, I got an interesting glimpse of the permissive culture when I was waiting in the lobby to pick up DC after his visit. A bunch of middle schoolers sat in the chairs next to me and put their feet up oOMG. Are you serious?

One thing I like is that GDS has such a clear culture that they do not hide when folks come to visit - so kids and parents know ahead of time what they are getting, and whether they like it. It keeps a lot of kids who would be whiners out at the start. Self-selection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:37: Why yes, there is! It's one of the most popular clubs. Another thing that students at GDS must learn to do is to control their eating habits and not eat baked goods every day .

-23:55

Random Mom here. GDS students, do your parents really not catch onto these thinly-veiled references? Do you go to "ski club" meetings sometimes also?

[Anonymous]

I am a little confused why people would find a special food treat on a celebration day to be weird - popcorn and hot chocolate on a pajama day? If we called it "spirit week" even more bizarre dress and behavior from teachers and students would be thought normal.

I've been a substitute teacher at a school that uses first names, (not GDS) and more than any prior dealing with grade school through high school kids, I feel respected. In turn, I have a great respect for them. They are not generally rude, and I don't feel they are trying to "pull one over" on me as the sub. I fail to see how people are addressed has much bearing on the presence or absence of respect.

I didn't grow up addressing adults by their first names. I think I'm realizing that the kids I am interacting with give and get more respect than was given or received at my traditional school growing up.

[Anonymous]

I'm a Sidwell parent and I also think it's sad that the PP's kid couldn't enjoy pajama day. Jeez -- what's so bad about fuzzy slippers, hot chocolate and a day spent reading and playing board games? What kid wouldn't love that? FWIW, my kids have lots of friends who are current students and alums of GDS and the PJ days don't seem to have done them any harm -- they're bright, respectful and friendly young people.

[Anonymous]

GDS is literally the greatest place in the world - it's friendly, down-to-earth, and BRILLIANT. The teachers are THE best I've ever had. I feel so honored to be here, it's amazing. Calling teachers by their first names isn't really weird at all - it feels normal after a week. As for respect, I have a very high level of respect for all my teachers and administrators. GDS is a fantastic school for accepting kids who are willing to work hard and be themselves.

[Anonymous]

I am currently attending GDS High School. I have attended GDS since Pre-K, and it has been a pretty good ride so far. But not without many significant rough patches. GDS is great academically. I have enjoyed almost every class I have attended, and have been taught by some amazing teachers. There have also been sub-par teachers, but so far the very good ones have outweighed the very bad ones.
My favorite part of GDS is by far the academic atmosphere. In the HS, the blocked schedule is wonderful, and is modeled to prepare you for college. If you have a free period first thing in the morning, you can sleep in. As a student, you have to choose how to allocate your time. I also approve of calling teachers by their first name. Classes feel like more of a conversation, and you can really travel places throughout the discussion.
The only thing I have ever had trouble with at GDS is the social climate. And perspective parents REALLY need to keep this in mind while applying. GDS has a reputation for being very cliquey. This is most certainly true. Social stress is very high. There are distinct social groups formed by the middle of freshmen year, and these remain intact for the most part throughout high school. Somebody was commenting on this the other day- the student came to GDS for high school with friends from his old school, but now would never consider talking to these people because of their social status.
I consider myself a quiet person. After 7th grade, you could find me in the corner reading a book. GDS can be torturous for people like me. There are very few true quiet spaces, and there is a lot of pressure to be very social. But it sometimes feels like an endless trap, because the cliques are hard to get into. A big factor in the formed cliques is also ethnicity (starting mostly in the lower/middle school, but less in the HS). GDS has a very high Jewish population (I would estimate 50-60%). As early as 4th grade, I was never completely accepted in certain friend circles because I was not Jewish. I like the fact that GDS is diverse religiously, but sometimes I feel that the Jewish culture is being forced onto me. I would prefer a school that is not biased in any sort of religious way, being an atheist.
GDS is a great school, and now that I have been in the high school, I the class benefits have outweighed the social drawbacks. But if my parents had let me, I think I would be happier at a different school for high school. I had tried to lobby for switching schools, because I knew that the social atmosphere would get worse in high school. If my parents had let me, I would have switched happily.
For perspective parents, this is what I have to say: GDS is a definite "yes" for lower school and middle school. Those were some of my favorite years. But think hard about high school. If your child is a little more introverted, like me, be very cautious. If you are happy with the intense social climate and believe that the academics are worth it, send them here.

[Anonymous]

thanks for the very thoughtful and in-depth summary of your experiences at GDS. Based on the information provided, one can see that this is a very accurte post and helpful to those of us contemplating this school.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Thank you very much. My DS considered applying to GDS but was counselled about the stressful social climate by the son of a friend. Good to hear it confirmed by someone else

[Anonymous]

The atmosphere and "clique" issue is very variable from class to class all the way from LS to HS. We have had three children there and two had fantastic and inclusive classes, and one had a problematic one that was dominated by a few alpha kids. As in any small independent school, the character of a class can vary a lot between different graduating classes, and therefore most important question is not GDS vs some other school, but the specific class a child will join. GDS is very open to kids applying out, one of my kids left for another HS because of her problematic grade, and the teachers/ administrative were helpful and not at all judgmental about her choice to go. They stress in 8th grade that each kid should investigate the HS and decide if they want to be there.

[Anonymous]

It really does seem class-specific. My DC (another non-Jewish introvert) has a great cohort. But DC would have been miserable in the class below. And not nearly so happy in the class ahead. FWIW, DC's cohort began to gel (or maybe "agglomerate") in MS and has been delighted to discover kindred spirits among the kids who entered GDS in HS.

Definitely important for each kid to check out the HS. I don't know how readable the social situation is from outside (especially since 40% of the HS class isn't there yet in 8th grade), but the intensity/busyness of the HS isn't for everyone. DC loves it. Still can't tell whether I would have considered it heaven or hell at that age.

[Anonymous]

Are Muslims socially accepted at GDS as they are at the Cathedral Schools & Sidwell? I'm concerned because although there are plenty of families that are not Jewish, there definitely seems to be a Jewish leaning and I want to send dc to a school that is respectful of all religions and races. The hate that co-exists in the Middle East seems to transcend love of mankind.