Posting on Facebook when child gets college acceptance

[Anonymous]

I'm going to pile up all the mail DC received from various colleges over the past two years (it will cover the living room floor) and have them sit on top of it wearing a sweatshirt from their chosen school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social media is a horror. Truly. Just get off of it. Whether you’re the person trying to figure out how to announce things (you’re not a celebrity with a new movie, announcements are not necessary) or the person annoyed by the “bragging” (you’re on social media, it only exists to trumpet narcissism, don’t get mad when that’s what’s there).

The whole thing is rotten. Just get off. It’s not making your life better.

And there it is, another post that leads to Trump... To the topic at hand, would OP post regardless if it was Princeton or Middle Tennessee State? With our oldest we informed the people closest to us that we knew it would matter too. Others found out through casual conversation and pics on move in day, always interesting to see the reactions of people, especially the big braggers...they can't believe you would not announce it to the world.

[Anonymous]

I just don't get many of the responses here. People share their information daily, in all that they do. From where they live, who they marry, where they vacation, their kids, pets and hobbies -- we share personally or privately. It can all be considered "bragging" if the recipients feel that it someone represents something that may be lacking or desired.

I have found that very few people are genuinely happy for you if you show a measure of success or achievement or attainment that doesn't sit well with them, for whatever reason. But like some responses here, you've got to be you and live your life and not worry about all of that. Else, you will be walking on eggshells for the rest of your life, trying to please everyone because if you say too much, or say the wrong thing, or show too much of this or that, then they may shun you or not like you.

I allow all of my social media friends to share with me whatever they want. And I am genuinely happy for most of them. And many of them have really achieved. But guess what -- so have I! I may not have the biggest house, but I like my house. My spouse may not be xyz, but I am very happy with my spouse. I like where I attended colege, like my kids, and the list goes on. And no, all of it is not top brand or premier stuff, but it's mine and I like what I have.

So what if a facebook friend lists where their kids are attending college or got accepted. So what? I hope that my kids are just as happy, and me as happy for them when they get accepted. And that's my family's happiness that I may want to share with friends on social media. Nearly all of us do this every day on social media, so why would a college acceptance or matriculation be any different.

It's perfectly fine to be you. Post what you want to post because sooner or later, when others find out about where your kid attends school, they will still have the same reaction as if you posted it on facebook. It won't be mitigated because you were kind enough to not post it to social media. They will still talk. Let it be.

[Anonymous]

Interesting to hear such a strong chorus of nay-sayers. My community on Facebook is made up of old acquaintances from different phases of life and extended family. I am not actually Facebook friends with many of the people I would talk to regularly off line.

I am genuinely happy to see when a cousin’s kid in Nebraska graduates high school, a college roommate moves abroad, etc. A picture of Larla in a VT sweatshirt, or Larla boarding the bus to army boot camp is the type of update folks in my circle share. I really don’t read much into it at all and don’t think it is about putting others down. I also know that for every cute college sweatshirt picture, there were probably tears, good natured nagging to get applications across the finish line and often significant financial discussions that were had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid in the school sweatshirt, done.

You’re allowed to brag. And the kids who got rejected aren’t your problem.

No. Who raised you, a goat?

No, my mother and father.

Were you born rude or is this learned behavior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always thought the general rule of thumb was it's ok to post once your kid knows where he's going (ie. kid in the sweatshirt) but never post individual acceptances. If your kid got accepted ED recently, I'd probably avoid posting right now (even tho he does technically know where he's going) to be sensitive to the fact that others may have gotten rejected ED. If you are going to make a post, I'd wait until spring.

This is what I'm going to do. Friends and family in other towns will definitely want to know where my kid is going. But I wouldn't be comfortable trotting out every single acceptance or looking braggy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to pile up all the mail DC received from various colleges over the past two years (it will cover the living room floor) and have them sit on top of it wearing a sweatshirt from their chosen school.

Can I friend you on FB? That's awesome.

[Anonymous]

Do you really have to live thru your DC's achievements? get a life, be happy for them and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like seeing where my friends kids are going. I do have one friend who posts Acceptance #1, then Acceptance #2 and on and on until the actual decision. My dd applied ED to a school that is not super competitive. I posted when she was accepted and she was fine with it. She had been in a lot of therapy (speech, OT) when she was younger so my old friends and family knew it was an extra special moment. But even for my friends’ kids who have always been superstars, I’m happy for them. It’s a big milestone.

This is horrifying.

All I can think of is all the ways this could go wrong. Say you do this with your eldest and then your younger child only gets one acceptance or gets waitlisted everywhere or something. Say your child's best friend gets rejected from their dream school the day you post "Acceptance #5". Say your kid has a nervous breakdown in April because of the pressure and winds up not going to school in the fall.

I think the more your child's college decision resembles Lebron James' announcement that he was leaving Cleveland the first time, the more you should stop and ask what the point of it all is. I'm usually not someone who harps on discretion, but this is some of the tackiest stuff I've ever heard.

If that’s the case, time to get off the internet and call your shrink.

[Anonymous]

We waited until May 1 (National Acceptance Day) for DD1 and then posted a shot of her in the college sweatshirt with a brief note on where she was headed. Will do the same for DD2.

[Anonymous]

Parent of a college freshman. I recall that last year there was so much stress and pressure on the HS seniors at this time. The lucky kids got into their ED or EA schools. The less lucky ones got rejected and deferred. I saw zero need to add to anyone's stress by talking about my child's ED acceptance on social media. We told the grandparents, and a few very close family friends who asked us directly.

Those parents who did post about their kids' college acceptances in December on social media came off as so obnoxious and tone-deaf. There is way too much pressure on HS seniors with respect to college, and one way parents can help lessen this pressure is to ratchet down the significance of an acceptance.

So my strong suggestion would be to just wait until everyone has heard. It just seems like basic kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I do not have a Facebook account.

Yes! I thought I was the lone hold out.

+2 never had one, never will. Always seemed low-brow.

[Anonymous]

I agree with other posters who say it's okay to post where your kid is actually going. But yes, wait until the spring. That said, I'm not planning on posting at all. My kid wouldn't like that.