Bay Area - non big tech non finance salaries

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So when will your wife see her family? She and the kids will be too far out to pop over for weeknight dinners and the kids will have homework. You will be living with your IN-LAWS all week and not helping your children adjust to a cross-country move. You will not be part of your new community in Tracy or Sacramento or wherever bc you will understandably just want to spend time with your wife and kids on the weekend. You are giving up a fed job, great schools, nice community for not that much more money in the highest COL area to hardly ever see your family. And your wife won’t be 20 minutes from
her parents. I think you will all be miserable and that you should seriously talk this decision through with a neutral third party.

And to move to a job in a tech company in a declining industry!!!! As though layoffs don't happen. I can't imagine taking that risk. Get a nanny and send your wife to stay with her parents for two months. You will come out way ahead financially.

I like this idea, but DW won't quit job unless we are living near her family, and she can't take off or telework two months to hang out every year.

[Anonymous]

OP, we recently contemplated moving there and even with a HHI near $500k/year, we would be experiencing serious declines in our quality of life. They call it California "dreaming" for a reason. It's not California living.

[Anonymous]

I’m a fed and moved here for my husband’s job. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment / 1300 sq feet with two kids. It’s not ideal. But we can spend a lot of time outside - we were even at the beach Friday afternoon.

I made about $85k when we moved here 5 years ago and since then got a promotion and was also adjusted to the Bay Area pay level. I now make about $105k. My husband makes about $180k. Our apartment is $3700 / mo in a great (walkable) area next to a playground. We have looked at some homes but have been unable to buy. Three bedrooms in our town are around $2 million.

[Anonymous]

I wonder what the OP decided to do.

A lot of Feds can't actually get decent jobs in the Bay Area tech companies -- not even a so-called "legacy" company like Cisco (which is still basically printing money despite not being as high-riding as they once were). Their skill set and more importantly, their mindset, are too far from what Silicon Valley companies are looking for.

SV is looking for young-at-heart, super-energetic, work-obsessed (read: not family-oriented with a personal life) people, who are entrepreneurial go-getters, rule-breakers, risk-takers, with skills on the bleeding edge of tech.

Successful Feds tend to be the opposite of that -- good at gently getting things in a methodical way, good at navigating bureaucracy and sticking to the rules, good with well-established non-risky tech.

[Anonymous]

Op, why does it have to be the SF area? California is huge, lots of great areas to live, and you can be a short drive away family to go visit on the weekends occasionally, much more than you see them now. And not completely devastate your family’s financial health (and probably mental health from you being separated so much of the week)? Why does it HAVE to be SF area or nothing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, why does it have to be the SF area? California is huge, lots of great areas to live, and you can be a short drive away family to go visit on the weekends occasionally, much more than you see them now. And not completely devastate your family’s financial health (and probably mental health from you being separated so much of the week)? Why does it HAVE to be SF area or nothing?

Well many of us don’t have careers that translate to Fresno.

[Anonymous]

what about San Diego?

[Anonymous]

you could also all move in with your in laws for m-f and buy a 1 bedroom in a vacation area where you go to decompress from your week?? Jut look in CA, not necessarily the Bay Area. this will only work if your kids don't do sports or weekend activities..

[Anonymous]

What about Davis? Everyone I know who lives there loves it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder what the OP decided to do.

A lot of Feds can't actually get decent jobs in the Bay Area tech companies -- not even a so-called "legacy" company like Cisco (which is still basically printing money despite not being as high-riding as they once were). Their skill set and more importantly, their mindset, are too far from what Silicon Valley companies are looking for.

SV is looking for young-at-heart, super-energetic, work-obsessed (read: not family-oriented with a personal life) people, who are entrepreneurial go-getters, rule-breakers, risk-takers, with skills on the bleeding edge of tech.

Successful Feds tend to be the opposite of that -- good at gently getting things in a methodical way, good at navigating bureaucracy and sticking to the rules, good with well-established non-risky tech.

I’m still applying to tech jobs of all sorts. All I can get are low ball offers from early stage startups with promises of “RSU riches” after a SPAC…

I am very open to other parts of the state, lots of Fed type work in LA defense contractors but they pay pretty poorly so even LA is really expensive lateral move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So when will your wife see her family? She and the kids will be too far out to pop over for weeknight dinners and the kids will have homework. You will be living with your IN-LAWS all week and not helping your children adjust to a cross-country move. You will not be part of your new community in Tracy or Sacramento or wherever bc you will understandably just want to spend time with your wife and kids on the weekend. You are giving up a fed job, great schools, nice community for not that much more money in the highest COL area to hardly ever see your family. And your wife won’t be 20 minutes from
her parents. I think you will all be miserable and that you should seriously talk this decision through with a neutral third party.

And to move to a job in a tech company in a declining industry!!!! As though layoffs don't happen. I can't imagine taking that risk. Get a nanny and send your wife to stay with her parents for two months. You will come out way ahead financially.

+1
Everything about this plan is a disaster. You won’t see your family during the week, they won’t see the in laws, you are giving up a stable career, etc. Do not do this. You would honestly be better off keeping your job and staying here and having your family move in with the in-laws and visiting them a lot of weekends and taking red eyes. That’s how awful your plan is

[Anonymous]

Just have your wife and kids spend this summer with her parents and then come back during the school year for their "real life" here in Fairfax VA - it is a much better option than being poor during the year in the Bay Area

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And Sacramento is a mixed bag on schools be very careful there. Maybe look at Elk Grove if you aren't taking the train. From Elk Grove you would drive down through Stockton and then over from there. AcE train goes that way and BART does too.

I had a friend who lived in Elk Grove and she was miserable

We moved from DC to Elk Grove and love it. Good schools and reasonably priced homes. Tons of parks and activities for kids. Very family friendly and diverse. Equidistant to Tahoe, the Bay, and beaches. Our neighborhood is constantly seeing new owners leaving their Bay Area lives. DH is fed and works out of the SF office. Lives at his parents’ during the week and comes home Thursday nights. It’s not perfect, but definitely more pros than cons. He maxed out of the fed pay scale years ago and we are mostly a single income family, but we make it work. It’s not easy, but we make it work.

[Anonymous]

Elk Grove is also getting an Amtrak station within the next couple years with connections to SF and San Jose.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a nightmare, OP. Grow a pair and tell your wife that unless she gets a job bringing in brogrammer money, you aren't moving.