Family Dinner together EVERY Night? Really?

[Anonymous]

Wow, I didn't realize we're in the minority. We've got a 5 yo, 3yo and 6 mo and only eat together as an entire family on the weekends and maybe 1 night a week. My hubby works until 7-8 and the kids are in bed, lights out, at 8. Getting a proper nights sleep is a priority in our household so family meals get shafted. I do sit with them while they eat and feed the baby. Hubby does story time duty when he's home and drives them to school so that's "his" quality time. We're hoping this schedule won't last forever but you gotta do what you gotta do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I didn't realize we're in the minority. We've got a 5 yo, 3yo and 6 mo and only eat together as an entire family on the weekends and maybe 1 night a week. My hubby works until 7-8 and the kids are in bed, lights out, at 8. Getting a proper nights sleep is a priority in our household so family meals get shafted. I do sit with them while they eat and feed the baby. Hubby does story time duty when he's home and drives them to school so that's "his" quality time. We're hoping this schedule won't last forever but you gotta do what you gotta do!

OP here, thank you for having a similar situation AND mindset! Whew!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And to echo 22:04 - what do you all do for a living that allows you to be home by 6PM?

I'm a lawyer with the government. I go in early and leave around 5:00. I sometimes do work that I can from home if I need to. We live in a close in suburb, so my commute is about 30 minutes. We don;t have the nicest house in the world because we live fairly close, but it's worth it for the short commute.

[Anonymous]

I'm amazed that so many of you find it utterly shocking that a parent could be home from work by 6pm.

Is that unheard of? It seems to me that anyone working a "normal" full-time schedule (ie, 9 to 5) would get home by then, even with a 1-hr commute. Do all of you work in law firms or something?

I'm not bashing anyone who works a lot, but when someone says they're home by 6pm, why is the response "how could you possibly work such short hours and have such a quick commute?" as if they're on easy street or are some kind of slacker. It's not like they said they're home by 3pm every day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm amazed that so many of you find it utterly shocking that a parent could be home from work by 6pm.

Is that unheard of? It seems to me that anyone working a "normal" full-time schedule (ie, 9 to 5) would get home by then, even with a 1-hr commute. Do all of you work in law firms or something?

I'm not bashing anyone who works a lot, but when someone says they're home by 6pm, why is the response "how could you possibly work such short hours and have such a quick commute?" as if they're on easy street or are some kind of slacker. It's not like they said they're home by 3pm every day!

I think a lot of folks work long hours or have long commutes, or both. We luckily have short commutes and don't work long hours but are probably earning a lot less than the families with long hours!

I get home a little later - usually 6:30 but sometimes 6:45, but I only work four days a week so it's worth it. DH and DD get home earlier - he only has a 15 minute commute so he does drop off and pick up, but gets in later than most people (9:00 or 9:30) and leaves by 5:30/6.

[Anonymous]

6 pm might as well be 3 pm when you work for a law firm, as I do. Even dh who works at doj doesn't get home till 7:30 and we live inside the beltway.

[Anonymous]

I'm not bashing anyone who works a lot, but when someone says they're home by 6pm, why is the response "how could you possibly work such short hours and have such a quick commute?" as if they're on easy street or are some kind of slacker. It's not like they said they're home by 3pm every day!

I'm the one who asked that question way back when and I realize now too late that I may have sounded judgmental. What I really am is ... envious!

We live in DC off Connecticut Ave. and so the length of the commute isn't a problem in these parts. Very, very few of the people on our street are home at 5:15 pm or even 6. I'd say the average is 6:50 to 7 pm, with several moms and dads rolling in at 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm not bashing anyone who works a lot, but when someone says they're home by 6pm, why is the response "how could you possibly work such short hours and have such a quick commute?" as if they're on easy street or are some kind of slacker. It's not like they said they're home by 3pm every day!

I'm the one who asked that question way back when and I realize now too late that I may have sounded judgmental. What I really am is ... envious!

We live in DC off Connecticut Ave. and so the length of the commute isn't a problem in these parts. Very, very few of the people on our street are home at 5:15 pm or even 6. I'd say the average is 6:50 to 7 pm, with several moms and dads rolling in at 8.

It's probably a function of your neighborhood. If it's more expensive, people probably have higher paying jobs that require longer hours. In our neighborhood, there are a lot of GS13-15 government types (lawyers, law enforcement agents, State Department people, etc.), so they tend to work fewer hours than law firm lawyers and the like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm not bashing anyone who works a lot, but when someone says they're home by 6pm, why is the response "how could you possibly work such short hours and have such a quick commute?" as if they're on easy street or are some kind of slacker. It's not like they said they're home by 3pm every day!

I'm the one who asked that question way back when and I realize now too late that I may have sounded judgmental. What I really am is ... envious!

We live in DC off Connecticut Ave. and so the length of the commute isn't a problem in these parts. Very, very few of the people on our street are home at 5:15 pm or even 6. I'd say the average is 6:50 to 7 pm, with several moms and dads rolling in at 8.

It's probably a function of your neighborhood. If it's more expensive, people probably have higher paying jobs that require longer hours. In our neighborhood, there are a lot of GS13-15 government types (lawyers, law enforcement agents, State Department people, etc.), so they tend to work fewer hours than law firm lawyers and the like.

Wrong. Georgetown parents are home are shockingly early hours, playing with their children at the park in good weather, or taking long walks at dusk. I'm always amazed by it. And believe me, most of them have very high paying jobs.

[Anonymous]

hey OP, I haven't read all the replies. But personally, I think it is pretty important to sit down to dinner as a family if at all possible, most of the time, by about school aged. (Kindergarten+) If your husband got home earlier, I'd say why not make it more of a priority now; if you only had the 6 year old, or if your youngest were 6, I'd say DEFINITELY hold dinner till 6:30 and let the kids have healthy snacks after school to tide them over and serve immediately asfter he walks in the door.

But the other two kids of yours are so young. I agree, holding dinner till 6:30 is quite late for the baby and the toddler. I'd keep on doing what you are doing -- family meals but at 5:30, but eat as a whole famile on the weekends and aim for maybe at least once a week, if the kids can wait that long. Also try to sit down to breakfast as a family once in a while as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids -- a 6 year old, a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old. Dad works long hours but tries to be home by 6:30 every night. I get the kids home and have dinner with them at 5:30.

Tonight my husband came home around 6:30 and I guess that I must have served dinner to the kids closer to 6, so they were still eating dinner when DH came home. DH decided to make himself some stirfry (his favorite). My mother (visiting this week) observes that we are not eating as an entire unit and asks my husband why we don't eat dinner together.

I can tell that he's taking the "question" as a criticism and he grunts some kind of response to her that he likes food that the kids don't eat, yadda yadda. My mom then says to me that as a kid that my family used to eat dinner together every night. I told her that she was having selective memory because my dad was rarely home before 10 pm every night, although if he made it home before then (rarely) we did eat together. She said that was true, but that it is still so important for a family to have dinner together.

My long winded question is, "Is it really that important that we eat as a unit, even when we eat meals together on the weekend, and hubby is at least home after dinner and sees the kids before they go to bed? I have to tell you, that I have few memories of it as a kid and I still love my family and feel close to them.


Yes, it really is that important. It's not about you, it's about them.
Is the family meal overrated? I think I'm inclined to say, "yes".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And to echo 22:04 - what do you all do for a living that allows you to be home by 6PM?

I work for a Fortune 100 company in a high profile role. I work for 8am to 5pm. I pick up my son at school and I am home by 6:00-6:15. I make dinner 6 nights a week, and I make a real dinner no convenience foods. I spend time planning our meals on the weekend and have a plan for the week. DH gets home between 6:45-7:00. We are finished by 7:15pm. Bath at 7:45 and bed by 8:00 p.m.

This is our schedule when we are home and if one of us is not we still keep to this schedule.

It is very important for families to eat together to foster communication and enoourage proper nutrition.

So it can be done but it takes planning and commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And to echo 22:04 - what do you all do for a living that allows you to be home by 6PM?

I work for a Fortune 100 company in a high profile role. I work for 8am to 5pm. I pick up my son at school and I am home by 6:00-6:15. I make dinner 6 nights a week, and I make a real dinner no convenience foods. I spend time planning our meals on the weekend and have a plan for the week. DH gets home between 6:45-7:00. We are finished by 7:15pm. Bath at 7:45 and bed by 8:00 p.m.

This is our schedule when we are home and if one of us is not we still keep to this schedule.

It is very important for families to eat together to foster communication and enoourage proper nutrition.

So it can be done but it takes planning and commitment.

i want your job

[Anonymous]

I have a 2 yo and a 3.5 yo. DH and I both work full time. I leave at 5 PM - government lawyer - and pick the kids up and get home about 6 PM - we live in NW DC. I cook every night. DH gets home about 6:30/6:45 and we have dinner as a family. We started this schedule when the little one was less then 1 year. Toddlers do get hungry so they get a snack either in the car on the way home from daycare or when we get home - or sometimes both, it doesn't seem to spoil their appetite b/c I give them something small and healthy like raisins or little cereal bars. Bathtime is 7:45 and kids sleeping by 8:30. DH and I are both professionals and we usually have some work to do after the kids go to sleep. My family always had a family dinner growing up and I think its extremely important. They are toddlers and sometimes they won't sit at the table and eat but nevertheless we do our best as parents to sit and eat a good meal at the table at meal time together to set a standard and example. They are coming around and more and more often will stay and eat their whole meal with us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you ate the same stuff at 6 months? i would never give her the food we eat (she is 8 mos and ped told us to wait until 9 mos for dairy and our foods generally have lots of ingredients she's never eaten). plus it takes a lot of energy to get her to eat (she isn't self feeding) so it would be impossible to eat at the same time.

More or less... yes. We made a lot of baby-friendly foods during that time: stews, soups, beans. Things that could be relatively soft and "gummable". We don't have food allergies in our family, and our pediatrician was raised abroad, where they have a more relaxed attitude to food introductions. We didn't give dairy (yogurt and cheese) until 8 months or so, and avoided shellfish and nut butters until after 12 months, but other than that - what I ate, baby ate. Also, we ate and fed at the same time (take a bite, give baby a bite, etc.).

It's about priorities, I guess. And if family dinner isn't a priority for you, I don't think there is anything wrong with that as long as you are spending plenty of family time together in other ways. I personally love a delicious leisurely meal, and while you don't get that with a small child, you are setting the stage for it as the child grows.