Should we buy a beach house?

[Anonymous]

fwiw I think OP's idea to get a beach house 5 minutes drive from the beach is a terrible idea, for a litany of reasons. Carrying costs for a second home are always way more than you expect, being 5 minutes drive is a bad idea (because you're not always going to want to go at 7am, AND what happens when your kids get older and want to go by themselves but don't have a license yet? you still going to drive your 15 year old?), and everyone I know in DC with a beach house loathes the drive, to the point where they stop going or sell. It shows up as 2.5 hours, but even the best timed days will be 4 hours. And some weekends will be 10 hours.

And fwiw, I'm not anti second houses in general. I just think the DC "drive to the beach" thing is terrible. There are a lot of places in the US you can live where there are cute second houses within a reasonable drive; DC is not one of those places.

But I do take issue with all the people telling OP that her kids are going to be dictating her life in another 3 years. When you have 8 year olds, you say "this is what we're doing for the summer". Some will involve tears and fights. That's life. My parents picked and chose various activities for us all the way through high school (xmas holiday we are spending 2 weeks at X). This concept of "my child is so incredibly important and destined for success that our lives need to revolve around their swim team" is a distinctly DC thing (maybe east coast).

[Anonymous]

OP I'd buy a cabin in the mountains before I'd buy a waterfront property. Whether climate change is real, natural or man made, beach properties are just not a safe bet.

[Anonymous]

Do you never want to vacation anywhere else again? How are you going to justify a vacation to the West Coast, or the mountains or Europe or Disney when you're spending money to maintain a beach house?

If you've got the dough, okay then. If not...

[Anonymous]

OP - second homes are a lot of money. Just keeping internet/cable/phone operable year round (which you will want, because it's a hassle to pause the service as you come and go) is going to be $200 a month for some basic plans. Then homeowners insurance, property taxes, utilities, etc are all ongoing expenses. Then the costs of periodic maintenance. And the dealing with periodic maintenance. My parents have a beach place that they use for 5 months a year and we pass through at other times. Every second time we go, we walk in and something is wrong: the a/c is broken, the toilet is leaking, the hot water heater is leaking. So you arrive at 7pm on a Friday and have to shift into panic mode about how you're going to get someone there to fix the a/c asap. It's very different than living in a home and waking up on a Tuesday to a broken a/c. You just stay home from work the next day and have someone fix it.

[Anonymous]

Go for it- it sounds like you have the time to use it because you could spend the summer there and your DH could be there a lot of the time.

We never bought a vacation house because our kids sports kept us busy most weekends and then when we do travel, we like to see different places around the country and internationally.

If it's a 5 minute drive to the beach, make sure that there are other things in the area to do- are there daycamps for your kids,etc.

[Anonymous]

My parents own a house in Bethany that's a 5 minute drive from the beach. They've owned it 10 years and sure, would it be nice to be able to walk right out onto the beach? Sure, but we all love it anyway. We have our routine and we're just used to it. We have bikes that can be used but usually when there's a lot of us, we just drive. Extended family comes frequently and it's just great. Prior to them purchasing this, the whole extended family used to spend a week in Nag's Head in an ocean front home and there was no struggle with the transition. For us I think, the sheer amount of unrestricted time you can spend down there far outweighed the 5 minutes in the car on the way back and forth to the beach.

The downside I did NOT expect - sometimes it doesn't feel like a special vacation. Because it's just a given and we can go anytime, it's not the same as actually going to a resort, etc. But we all still love it. All of us still take (separate) vacations throughout the year as well, usually when it's cold and Bethany isn't desirable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Also can you give me an idea of what a typical day at the beach house would be like in the summer for you guys? i.e. what kinds of things besides the beach do you do there? Thanks!

You really need someone to give you a schedule? Don't you already know this since you go to the beach?

[Anonymous]

OP-

Sounds like you really want to do this. So do it. Worst case scenario, five years from now house is not playing out as you planned and you sell it. oh well.

However, you haven't said much of anything about your financial situation. If your husband can support all of you on a single income then you must be fairly wealthy. I am assuming both his job and his income level are extraordinarily secure. My advice would drastically change if your financial situation isn't as great as I imagine. If you are stretching for this, particularly as a one income family, I would absolutely say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - second homes are a lot of money. Just keeping internet/cable/phone operable year round (which you will want, because it's a hassle to pause the service as you come and go) is going to be $200 a month for some basic plans. Then homeowners insurance, property taxes, utilities, etc are all ongoing expenses. Then the costs of periodic maintenance. And the dealing with periodic maintenance. My parents have a beach place that they use for 5 months a year and we pass through at other times. Every second time we go, we walk in and something is wrong: the a/c is broken, the toilet is leaking, the hot water heater is leaking. So you arrive at 7pm on a Friday and have to shift into panic mode about how you're going to get someone there to fix the a/c asap. It's very different than living in a home and waking up on a Tuesday to a broken a/c. You just stay home from work the next day and have someone fix it.

we have a beach house and the utilities are about $200/month during the 3 peak summer months down to $75 during the 6 winter months. Our biggest expense is internet which is $50 a month year-round... we don't have cable but use Amazon Fire TV via the internet.
We have homeowner's and flood insurance on the property and these are another $150-200 or so per month combined.
We've owned for 3 years and have never had issues with things breaking. In fact, the only expense we've had is to replace a fence that was knocked down by the wind.. We're 4 houses from the beach and the house was built in 1940.

[Anonymous]

We thought about it. For the "5 minutes drive to the beach" you can always buy a golf cart or two so people can easily go back and forth, and not worry about parking. For the "show up and there's maintenance and cleaning" you can just get a company for all that, and there are plenty in beach towns.

What we ended up doing instead was doing a major renovation on our current house, so the "beach house" is at home. We added a pool and some activity areas. Then we can use it any time by just walking out the family room door, with no advanced planning needed. We were lucky to have enough space to be able to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a 'river house' down on the Northern Neck. Ours is strictly a family house and we don't rent it out. It is four-season so we can go down all year. Our advice is to buy for the NOW and worry about later needs later. Sure, your priorities may change and you may scale back but in the meantime you want to make memories with your kids NOW. So go for it.

We have found that there is an ebb and a flow for our use. We're heading back into a flow after being on a strong ebb (four kids in middle/high school but the fourth is about ready to leave for college after next year). Our fifth, 6, is still too young to be totally consumed with spring/summer sports so it doesn't matter if he misses some games and such. When he gets up to middle and high school I'm sure we'll ebb back. But by that time maybe some of the older kids will start having families and want to go down either with or without us.

We share the house with my sister and her family. The spacing of their children is pretty similar although they still have 2 in hs so they aren't getting much more use out of the house than we are right now. But our folks are down there all the time. It all works out.

Enjoy!

We're in a similar situation, though our place is in St. Mary's County. We have a nice sandy beach and a drive of just 1.5 hours, so most of the time we can go on Saturday afternoon after little league and soccer games and come back Sunday afternoon (or all weekend after the season is over). Unless you're dead-set on the ocean beach/surfing/boardwalk scene, I'd highly recommend checking out the Western Shore of the Bay - many fantastic waterfront places. You'll likely use it a lot more when it's so much closer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 to the rent, don't buy camp. Do you know any friends with older children (say, 2nd grade on up)? I would say that 85% of our weekends from September through June are taken up by sports--often times with both kids having games--or birthday parties or school events. And our kids aren't particularly sporty, either. They each do one sport a season (fall, winter, and spring).

I also agree with the walkability factor. Have you ever rented a house or stayed at a hotel ON THE BEACH? It is a totally different, super fun, extremely convenient vacation. I would try that and see how you like it. For $260K you can rent a very nice house for many summers directly on the beach.

Also, you're not factoring in upkeep and insurance. Painting is a once a decade deal, if that, and its cheap. But, you need to factor in things like replacing appliances, fixing toilets, replacing roofs, plumbing leaks, etc.etc. Also, you don't get tax benefits from a vacation house the way you do with the mortgage for your primary residence.

FWIW, we have friends with a beach house they try to use every weekend and every summer, and their sons, in particular, have suffered socially. Most boys bond over sports, and being away every weekend and not being able to play on a team has really hampered the boys' social life.

OP here. It's really hard for me to understand the sports thing. I did not play any sports in my whole childhood, and spent my weekends watching TV indoors while my parents did yardwork (not that this is a good thing, but I don't really understand the appeal of filling up weekends with sports). I do know a few friends with older kids, I will ask them about this. Honestly from what I've heard from one friend who has older kids, her weekends sound absolutely exhausting and sort of miserable with all the waking up early, driving and shlepping around to sports games.

Yes, we have stayed at hotels within walking distance of the beach (usually 2 or 3 blocks). I don't really see much of a difference though, we still have to lug a ton of beach gear to the beach by walking from the hotel to the beach which is annoying, when you're walking with a huge beach umbrella, beach cart full of chairs, toys, towels, etc. How is it less annoying to walk with all that stuff than loading up the car with beach gear, finding a parking spot, and walking a short distance to the beach? I see these two situations as comparable. Finding a parking spot can be tough if you go at prime time, but usually we're ready to be at the beach by 7:30 am, so parking isn't usually an issue.

I will make a list of all the upkeep and insurance issues, that is more of my concern. However, this is a newer built house (2008) so hopefully most systems should be in working order.

1) You don't understand the sports thing, but many of us with older kids do. I did not grow up at all athletic. You have to realize that childhoods in teh 70s and 80s are very different than they are now.
2) 2-3 blocks is not the same as on the beach. Try renting a house literally on the beach--not several blocks away. If you're willing to plunk down $260K on a house, you can spend $10K for a house on the beach and see what posters mean by it being a different experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will be underwater and unsellable. Global warming is real unfortunately.

+1 A 5 min drive from the beach is much preferable to on the beach. Houses on the beach may be uninsurable before too long. And look for a house on a hill!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a 'river house' down on the Northern Neck. Ours is strictly a family house and we don't rent it out. It is four-season so we can go down all year. Our advice is to buy for the NOW and worry about later needs later. Sure, your priorities may change and you may scale back but in the meantime you want to make memories with your kids NOW. So go for it.

We have found that there is an ebb and a flow for our use. We're heading back into a flow after being on a strong ebb (four kids in middle/high school but the fourth is about ready to leave for college after next year). Our fifth, 6, is still too young to be totally consumed with spring/summer sports so it doesn't matter if he misses some games and such. When he gets up to middle and high school I'm sure we'll ebb back. But by that time maybe some of the older kids will start having families and want to go down either with or without us.

We share the house with my sister and her family. The spacing of their children is pretty similar although they still have 2 in hs so they aren't getting much more use out of the house than we are right now. But our folks are down there all the time. It all works out.

Enjoy!

We're in a similar situation, though our place is in St. Mary's County. We have a nice sandy beach and a drive of just 1.5 hours, so most of the time we can go on Saturday afternoon after little league and soccer games and come back Sunday afternoon (or all weekend after the season is over). Unless you're dead-set on the ocean beach/surfing/boardwalk scene, I'd highly recommend checking out the Western Shore of the Bay - many fantastic waterfront places. You'll likely use it a lot more when it's so much closer.

The western shore is a great suggestion. It takes us about 2.5-3 hours to get down to our place, which is a little west of Kilmarnock. For some folks that may be too much. For us it is just about right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - second homes are a lot of money. Just keeping internet/cable/phone operable year round (which you will want, because it's a hassle to pause the service as you come and go) is going to be $200 a month for some basic plans. Then homeowners insurance, property taxes, utilities, etc are all ongoing expenses. Then the costs of periodic maintenance. And the dealing with periodic maintenance. My parents have a beach place that they use for 5 months a year and we pass through at other times. Every second time we go, we walk in and something is wrong: the a/c is broken, the toilet is leaking, the hot water heater is leaking. So you arrive at 7pm on a Friday and have to shift into panic mode about how you're going to get someone there to fix the a/c asap. It's very different than living in a home and waking up on a Tuesday to a broken a/c. You just stay home from work the next day and have someone fix it.

OP here. Yes these are very good considerations to think more about. Thank you.