Husband is finalist for dream job in Chicago

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don't think we would make the move unless he could delay moving until I finish my project. I've actually been at my current job for 10 years, but just moved into this position recently. It would not be good to bail on this project-- would definitely burn bridges. I could also pitch doing my job remotely, which is not going to be easy.

I think that the advantage of moving to Chicago is that you'd end up in a city with a more diverse economy.

The disadvantage, if you're moving there without knowing anyone, is that people there might be a little more insular, in some ways, than in Washington.

A lot of people are born in the Chicago area, grow up there, stay there, and can't imagine that much worth knowing about exists anywhere else in the world.

That’s not the case at all- people from a Chicago have transplanted all over the country. I’m in LA- full of Chicago transplants for example. I grew up in Chicago and only a small percentage of my friends growing up have remained.

That's not really what the PP was saying though... It's that not many people relocate TO Chicago, so the people you meet in Chicago are very likely to be from the area and, unlike you and your friends, never saw any reason to leave. I totally experienced this when I moved there, the people are surprisingly provincial for such a big, great city.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the odes to Chicago but honestly, if we moved, we'd be a family of 4 with two small kids. We aren't going to be having regular meals at the chic restaurants, nor going to baseball/football/baskeball games, etc. Personally, I know 2-3 friends who LEFT Chicago for other places for lower-key pace of life. They lived in the city, but once they had 2+ kids, didn't want to deal with city living and schools and didn't want to start over moving to the 'burbs. I would love to hear from people with families talk about family life in Chicago.

Right now, we have a decent lifestyle by DC standards. I don't need a bigger house (we bought 10+ years ago and have re-fi'ed), our kid(s) are in very good JLKM schools, we have an easy 20-40 min commute to work. So most of the reasons people have for fleeing DC don't apply to us.

Do not move to the city. I have family who lived in a great neighborhood in Chicago and it wasn't good for family life. There was a lot of crime, which was a immediate concern not just something you see on the news, and the children couldn't ride bikes around or have a little independence. I know your kids are little but time flies: think about what they'll need five years down the road. The school situation was bad. Chicago has some of the best suburbs in the country at a relatively affordable price so I would take advantage of that.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]I lived in DC for 8 years, moved to Chicago for 2, and realized I had made a huge mistake and came back to DC. I'm not posting this to bash on Chicago at all but I wanted to share my perspective in case it's helpful. Honestly mileage varies for everyone, clearly there are a TON of people who are or would be happier in Chicago. But for my part, DC is a million times higher QOL. Some reasons:

1. the winters were so much worse than I imagined - it's not that January is cold (it is), it's that MAY is still miserable. I am nearly positive I had SAD. I would wake up and look outside at the cold dreary weather and actually fight back tears.

2. like you, I have a kid. Something people love about Chicago is all the bars and restaurants and sure, they're great. But they're not THAT great and also, I don't go out that much, so DC has more than enough variety to keep me happy.

3. I know some people here are saying the people in Chicago are nicer and maybe that's true but as a non-Midwesterner, I felt so out of place. I've lived in tons of cities (and I'm from the West and moved to DC) so it's not like I don't know how to assimilate to different groups, for some reason I found the Midwestern vibe really intense and impenetrable.

4. Chicago is BIG and by that I mean it spreads out for miles in every direction. I think I spent more time in an Uber in Chicago in 2 years than I did in 8 years in DC. It's just, totally normal to take a cab ride 45 minutes to go somewhere. Once my DD outgrew an infant bucket seat and we suddenly had to start driving everywhere, I quickly tired of it.

5. Chicago is an oasis in the middle of nowhere. In DC we had a regular habit of weekend day trips or overnights to Shenandoah, Chesapeake Bay; or to visit family/friends in Baltimore or Philly. We really struggled to continue this habit in Chicago. We had a few long weekends on lakes in Michigan and those were great, but the car distance was too far to make a habit of it.


Of course there's a million things to love about Chicago but personally, all of these added up to a pretty low quality of life. Maybe I'm to blame for not really trying, but within 2 years I was back in DC.

[/quote]

I know this thread is old, but people (obviously) find these and take something from them, so I just want to echo what this poster says.

I moved to Chicago after being from DC and have found a lot of the same issues as this person. People are friendly in that you won’t get yelled at at the grocery store and might occasionally make pleasantries in the El, but it truly is much more impenetrable than DC. Everyone has tightly knit friend groups already.

The sheer physical size of the city surprised me. Even in good traffic on the highways it can take an hour to get from one end of the city to another. Not to mention the suburbs.

Taxes are high and services are spotty, especially if you live in the south side. The schools are much better than other people have said... in that there are a LOT of options, especially for elementary and middle, suiting every pedagogical preference. But: you have to get in and you might easily have a 2 hour round trip commute to that school. High school options are either excellent or terrible but there are a lot of good parochial and private schools. That being said, some of the services are fantastic: snow removal, the truly enviable park system and it’s cheap classes for kids, and the top notch library system.

The weather is whatever. From June-October it truly can’t be beat. Spring is all over the place, and winter is cold/windy but it’s not crippling or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Evanston and northern suburbs are great. I'd jump on it. Chicago is one of the friendliest big cities I've lived in, and I've lived in a lot of cities.

Ditto!! Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I love Chicago. It was clean and friendly, easy to move around, reasonably priced. We did find the neighborhoods more racially segregated than MoCo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The weather is absolutely brutal in Chicago many months of the year. I wouldn't move. I like someone's idea for your dh to commute.

LOL Oh please - it is not that bad, Princess. You bundle up.

Oh seriously. I hate all the OMG The Weather! hysteria. Wear a damn coat.

This is spoken like someone who has never lived through a Chicago winter. There is a level of cold that no coat, or coat paired with wool sweater paired with wool long johns, can defend against.

That, or you grew up in the Yukon! In which case, respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lived in DC for 8 years, moved to Chicago for 2, and realized I had made a huge mistake and came back to DC. I'm not posting this to bash on Chicago at all but I wanted to share my perspective in case it's helpful. Honestly mileage varies for everyone, clearly there are a TON of people who are or would be happier in Chicago. But for my part, DC is a million times higher QOL. Some reasons:

1. the winters were so much worse than I imagined - it's not that January is cold (it is), it's that MAY is still miserable. I am nearly positive I had SAD. I would wake up and look outside at the cold dreary weather and actually fight back tears.

2. like you, I have a kid. Something people love about Chicago is all the bars and restaurants and sure, they're great. But they're not THAT great and also, I don't go out that much, so DC has more than enough variety to keep me happy.

3. I know some people here are saying the people in Chicago are nicer and maybe that's true but as a non-Midwesterner, I felt so out of place. I've lived in tons of cities (and I'm from the West and moved to DC) so it's not like I don't know how to assimilate to different groups, for some reason I found the Midwestern vibe really intense and impenetrable.

4. Chicago is BIG and by that I mean it spreads out for miles in every direction. I think I spent more time in an Uber in Chicago in 2 years than I did in 8 years in DC. It's just, totally normal to take a cab ride 45 minutes to go somewhere. Once my DD outgrew an infant bucket seat and we suddenly had to start driving everywhere, I quickly tired of it.

5. Chicago is an oasis in the middle of nowhere. In DC we had a regular habit of weekend day trips or overnights to Shenandoah, Chesapeake Bay; or to visit family/friends in Baltimore or Philly. We really struggled to continue this habit in Chicago. We had a few long weekends on lakes in Michigan and those were great, but the car distance was too far to make a habit of it.


Of course there's a million things to love about Chicago but personally, all of these added up to a pretty low quality of life. Maybe I'm to blame for not really trying, but within 2 years I was back in DC.

Now, you — you have clearly lived in Chicago.

I lived there 14 years and could have written this post, especially points 1 and 5.