Redshirted and Regretted It?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:All it takes is one or two summer birthdays who were not held back to make those who were redshirted wonder why they weren't ready and what about them was considered "not there" for them to go on. And there is a real issue if you send the message that by being older, they will be "better." Heaven forbid someone comes along who wasn't redshirted, and is better than they are at sports, academics, and socially. Its not going to feel good to be held back, and then at some point run across someone who is a year younger, and is still more able. I used to work in a school for many years as a counselor, and saw this happen over and over.



Yes. The roof does fall in upon occasion especially as the younger children catch up in upper grades like high school. The redshirting does not stop in kindergarten but continues as some [NOT late summer early fall] enter middle and high school. Yes- they repeat things like grade 6,7,8,9,10 as they move around private schools. It's really sleazy and I don't think highly of the schools for doing this. Many athletic elementary and middle school superstars get the wind knocked out in high school.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I guess most red-shirted kids are boys, so the bigger question for me is the middle school years. Any other moms of girls concerned about these older boys being in middle school with their age-appropriate-for-grade daughters? EEK! Just sayin'.


No. Maybe it has to do with how we parent them, but we have four daughters and are not worried about this at all.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I guess most red-shirted kids are boys, so the bigger question for me is the middle school years. Any other moms of girls concerned about these older boys being in middle school with their age-appropriate-for-grade daughters? EEK! Just sayin'.


No. Maybe it has to do with how we parent them, but we have four daughters and are not worried about this at all.


Yes it can be a problem in middle school and more so in high school. Guys who would-should be in the college social scene are problematical all round for males and females. It ups the behaviors. Age of consent is 16 in DC.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I guess most red-shirted kids are boys, so the bigger question for me is the middle school years. Any other moms of girls concerned about these older boys being in middle school with their age-appropriate-for-grade daughters? EEK! Just sayin'.


No. Maybe it has to do with how we parent them, but we have four daughters and are not worried about this at all.


Yes it can be a problem in middle school and more so in high school. Guys who would-should be in the college social scene are problematical all round for males and females. It ups the behaviors. Age of consent is 16 in DC.


So, essentially your argument is that two responsible parents shouldn't make the right decision for their son (if the right decision for that child happens to be red-shirting) because you are worried about the statistical incidence of troublesome behavior (which by the way is just anecdote at this point, you've shown no data to prove it) among 18 year old males in DC and furthermore you're worried your 16 year old daughter will get into trouble?

Talk about your slippery slope.

That's weak. You're going to have to connect a few more dots (like the rest of B to Z) for this to be persuasive.

I love pointing out to people that there's nothing you can do about this. Short of making it a law to FORCE Kindergarten at age 5 there's simply nothing you can do. Not to mention that if it were law, it would only be a matter of time before it wound up in the courts and got shot down.

Grow up.

Make the best decision for your child and leave the other parents alone, m'kay?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I guess most red-shirted kids are boys, so the bigger question for me is the middle school years. Any other moms of girls concerned about these older boys being in middle school with their age-appropriate-for-grade daughters? EEK! Just sayin'.


No. Maybe it has to do with how we parent them, but we have four daughters and are not worried about this at all.


Yes it can be a problem in middle school and more so in high school. Guys who would-should be in the college social scene are problematical all round for males and females. It ups the behaviors. Age of consent is 16 in DC.


You think a 15/16/17 year old boy does not have the same "motivations" as an 18/19 yr old??? If you have daughters, I suggest you educate yourself on this issue.

I'd argue that often the 18/19 year old is a little wiser and little less reckless.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I guess most red-shirted kids are boys, so the bigger question for me is the middle school years. Any other moms of girls concerned about these older boys being in middle school with their age-appropriate-for-grade daughters? EEK! Just sayin'.


No. Maybe it has to do with how we parent them, but we have four daughters and are not worried about this at all.


Yes it can be a problem in middle school and more so in high school. Guys who would-should be in the college social scene are problematical all round for males and females. It ups the behaviors. Age of consent is 16 in DC.


So, essentially your argument is that two responsible parents shouldn't make the right decision for their son (if the right decision for that child happens to be red-shirting) because you are worried about the statistical incidence of troublesome behavior (which by the way is just anecdote at this point, you've shown no data to prove it) among 18 year old males in DC and furthermore you're worried your 16 year old daughter will get into trouble?

Talk about your slippery slope.

That's weak. You're going to have to connect a few more dots (like the rest of B to Z) for this to be persuasive.

I love pointing out to people that there's nothing you can do about this. Short of making it a law to FORCE Kindergarten at age 5 there's simply nothing you can do. Not to mention that if it were law, it would only be a matter of time before it wound up in the courts and got shot down.

Grow up.

Make the best decision for your child and leave the other parents alone, m'kay?


haha. my post got under your skin. and how old is your child for it's grade? Should have our grade appropriate students born in fall through early summer repeat and be supermen? JK.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I guess most red-shirted kids are boys, so the bigger question for me is the middle school years. Any other moms of girls concerned about these older boys being in middle school with their age-appropriate-for-grade daughters? EEK! Just sayin'.


No. Maybe it has to do with how we parent them, but we have four daughters and are not worried about this at all.


Yes it can be a problem in middle school and more so in high school. Guys who would-should be in the college social scene are problematical all round for males and females. It ups the behaviors. Age of consent is 16 in DC.


So, essentially your argument is that two responsible parents shouldn't make the right decision for their son (if the right decision for that child happens to be red-shirting) because you are worried about the statistical incidence of troublesome behavior (which by the way is just anecdote at this point, you've shown no data to prove it) among 18 year old males in DC and furthermore you're worried your 16 year old daughter will get into trouble?

Talk about your slippery slope.

That's weak. You're going to have to connect a few more dots (like the rest of B to Z) for this to be persuasive.

I love pointing out to people that there's nothing you can do about this. Short of making it a law to FORCE Kindergarten at age 5 there's simply nothing you can do. Not to mention that if it were law, it would only be a matter of time before it wound up in the courts and got shot down.

Grow up.

Make the best decision for your child and leave the other parents alone, m'kay?


Posts like this do nothing to move the discussion forward. The fact of the matter is that people are helicopter parenting to the point that it impacts others in the community.

Quite frankly, yes, if it will prevent people like you from creating some sort of artificial advantage for your son at the expense of everyone else in the class, then there should be mandatory ranges of age in each grade.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I guess most red-shirted kids are boys, so the bigger question for me is the middle school years. Any other moms of girls concerned about these older boys being in middle school with their age-appropriate-for-grade daughters? EEK! Just sayin'.


No. Maybe it has to do with how we parent them, but we have four daughters and are not worried about this at all.


Yes it can be a problem in middle school and more so in high school. Guys who would-should be in the college social scene are problematical all round for males and females. It ups the behaviors. Age of consent is 16 in DC.


So, essentially your argument is that two responsible parents shouldn't make the right decision for their son (if the right decision for that child happens to be red-shirting) because you are worried about the statistical incidence of troublesome behavior (which by the way is just anecdote at this point, you've shown no data to prove it) among 18 year old males in DC and furthermore you're worried your 16 year old daughter will get into trouble?

Talk about your slippery slope.

That's weak. You're going to have to connect a few more dots (like the rest of B to Z) for this to be persuasive.

I love pointing out to people that there's nothing you can do about this. Short of making it a law to FORCE Kindergarten at age 5 there's simply nothing you can do. Not to mention that if it were law, it would only be a matter of time before it wound up in the courts and got shot down.

Grow up.

Make the best decision for your child and leave the other parents alone, m'kay?


Posts like this do nothing to move the discussion forward. The fact of the matter is that people are helicopter parenting to the point that it impacts others in the community.

Quite frankly, yes, if it will prevent people like you from creating some sort of artificial advantage for your son at the expense of everyone else in the class, then there should be mandatory ranges of age in each grade.


I agree - I am concerned for my daughter. My concern is that these 18 year olds that are still in HS were immature to start with.... and possibly due to weak parenting skills and these boys will be almost TWO YEARS older than my daughter who is in the correct grade because I have worked very hard to make sure that, even though she is a summer birthday and had some set backs developmentally due to illness, she is starting school on time. And the over-indulged little boy who is already 10 months older than her in her daycare is going to stay an extra year in Pre-K because according to his parents he is not mature because he is a boy! Nonsense, he is immature because he is spoiled. He was rejected by all the of private schools that his parents applied to for him. Of course, they think he was rejected because he is a boy (hello, the privates are full of boys) and not because he kicked one of the other kids at a playdate... which according to his parents is ok for him to do because he is a boy.)
Anonymous
The redshirts can be "over-indulged" little boys that become "over-indulged" big boys. That sort of over-indulgence carries over to other aspects of life. It is a rude awakening for some when they are no longer automatically among the biggest and the best.

Redshirts are a different animal than a late summer-early fall kindergarten holdback. Time to differentiate the 2 groups in this forum.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:

Redshirts are a different animal than a late summer-early fall kindergarten holdback. Time to differentiate the 2 groups in this forum.


I agree with this.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote: Redshirts are a different animal than a late summer-early fall kindergarten holdback. Time to differentiate the 2 groups in this forum.


I thought "redshirts" are all those children born before the cutoff who are age-eligible to start K but don't -- including those with late August birthdays who don't start , if the cutoff is Sept. 1.
Anonymous
I have a completely different take on this dynamic: I had a friend growing up -- both her and her parents could not let go that when she relocated to our school district, she had to repeat K because of the difference in age cut-offs. She had a November BD, so she was the youngest at her old school out West, but one of the older ones at her new school in the East. I heard about this for years. Whenever something happened where she thought one of us was being immature, she would complain about how she would not have had to endure this if the school system hadn't held her back. This went on for years. (She was more of a close neighborhood acquaintance, not a day to day school friend [understandable given her carping!]). My parents told me years later that her family always dwelled on this - how they claimed it stunted her intellectual development, etc. I wonder if she has held herself back because of this perceived injustice. We were admitted to many of the same colleges and universities, so it is not as if she was extraordinarily brilliant or anything.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:haha. my post got under your skin. and how old is your child for it's grade? Should have our grade appropriate students born in fall through early summer repeat and be supermen? JK.


Nice try. One child. Daughter. She skipped a grade.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All it takes is one or two summer birthdays who were not held back to make those who were redshirted wonder why they weren't ready and what about them was considered "not there" for them to go on. And there is a real issue if you send the message that by being older, they will be "better." Heaven forbid someone comes along who wasn't redshirted, and is better than they are at sports, academics, and socially. Its not going to feel good to be held back, and then at some point run across someone who is a year younger, and is still more able. I used to work in a school for many years as a counselor, and saw this happen over and over.


Right - this is my big fear with redshirting -- the message it may be sending to the child. For those of you who have redshirted, what do your children think about your decision, and how do they view themselves in comparison with younger classmates?


Good question -- anyone have children old enough to opine on this? How do they perceive being redshirted?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Make the best decision for your child and leave the other parents alone, m'kay?


Posts like this do nothing to move the discussion forward. The fact of the matter is that people are helicopter parenting to the point that it impacts others in the community.

Quite frankly, yes, if it will prevent people like you from creating some sort of artificial advantage for your son at the expense of everyone else in the class, then there should be mandatory ranges of age in each grade.


As previously stated, I have a daughter. In addition to being sociable and athletic she's also academically advanced. I appreciate the opportunity our school afforded her to skip a grade, she mixes excellently with children a year older than she (in fact she's a leader in that class). I'm very grateful for the flexibility in her education and believe all parents should have the opportunity to make similar decisions in their own child's best interests. Some of us do not have middle-of-the-bell-curve children and it's important that we, their parents (not you, anonymous busybodies) be empowered to make the right decisions for them.
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