Where do SAHMs live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to be a SAHM (now working) in the Forest Glen area of Silver Spring and I agree with PPs re: Silver Spring. I'm just now realizing how fortunate I was to have other SAHMs around (who I rarely see since I now am at work all day)!

What are the schools like in your area? I'm the SAHM who has been looking at Rosemary Hills (Silver Spring). We like it because it's in the BCC cluster. The houses we've looked at in Forest Glen all feed into Einstein, and we've heard not such good things about that school.

[Anonymous]

SAHMs with an edge live in Cheverly MD!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, I think it would be very isolating to be a SAHM and not have other SAHMs are around. It's a tough and isolating job even if your neighborhood is full of SAHMs. I can imagine it is even more challenging if there aren't other SAHMs in the neighborhood.

Why am I a SAHM who prefers the company of working moms?

Maybe I should rethink this SAHM thing.

What do you mean?

I feel as though I have nothing in common with SAHMs. Isn't that sad? I really like the edginess to my working mom pals. They are so funny and so real. (I worked FT through pregnancy, PT with my first for 2.5 years, then took leave, and became pregnant with number 2.)

I live in Silver Spring (north, not Silver Spring proper) where most mothers work. The SAHMs I've met are so Pollyanna-like that they drive me crazy. What's the harm in talking about the downside of staying home? It's kind of therapeutic. I've offended quite a few, which technically doesn't bother me. bad, I know . . . But once I used the word hate, and this mother was trying to make apologize in front of her 3 yo child after she scolded me - IN FRONT of her child, I have to add. It was ridiculous.

I love working mothers. I think my friends who work have a nice balance. They love their children, their husbands, and their careers.

My children are fine. They're happy and social - even the baby, but I'm not the type to do crafts with my daughter. Hell, I refuse to take them to the park on a cold day. And although I've done the library story times, I will admit that those story times did drive me crazy. Half the kids were running around like chickens and the mothers seemed so oblivious.

And the play dates? They are never ending! Honestly, I think my daughter's preschool is enough of an outlet for her M-F. (My son is still too young for school.) I was scolded by a mom b/c she saw soy formula on my counter. (These breasts were beasts for 6 months! Now they deserve to rest!) She said soy made boys sterile. OK - I told her that at least my son would not be coming home with a pregnant girlfriend. harsh? I suppose . . . but I couldn't help myself. And this woman STILL wants to schedule play dates!

I feel as though SOME SAHMs are aiming for perfection (at least the ones I've met), and I'm definitely NOT there, nor do I want to be. I really like my flaws and readily admit to them. But when I do, I get weird stares.

I mean - would YOU want to friend me if you were a SAHM? probably not . . .

Now, would you meet me for happy hour after work for a good laugh? probably yes!

I can already feel the fire. So I'm sure I'll get flamed. But b/c I do like warm weather, I'll welcome heated responses, especially on this cold evening.

PP, sorry for venting but thanks for asking! I'm going to make myself a Vodka with cranberry now!

Enjoy the weekend, ladies!

I feel as you do. I'm a sahm who has little in common with the sahms in my neighborhood. And the nannies? Sure, some of them are very smart, and interesting too, but they are at a different place in their lives, and I'm long past that. I prefer working moms, or sahms with attitude. I hate playdates, storytimes and crafts. My kids are fine and happy. I give them art supplies, and they make their own crafts.

[Anonymous]

I agree that the suburbs have a more equal SAHM/WM ratio of more SAHMs. You probably want to look more closely at the neighborhood than the overall area. Neighborhoods that are more dense, have the pocket parks, and seem to have more families with small kids would be the best bet. We live in a very family oriented neighborhood..who would live out here without kids LOL, but most people have older kids and since the lots are so big its hard to run into neighbors. When we were looking we liked the privacy aspect but now that we have kids I would actually prefer houses on small lots right next to each other with sidewalks and lots of kids.

I'm a WM and I never talk about work with other WMs. Unless you are in the same field, there is not that much to talk about that could be interesting. I loved the off topic poster who is not searching for perfection. While I definetely know some SAHMs who are not into this I have met some, including relatives.

[Anonymous]

PP here again. You may want to look at townhouses in suburban communities too. One of my friends said that even though all the stairs were a pain, they are great to meet people. You may find more younger families with small kids starting there.

[Anonymous]

We live in East Bethesda and it's about a 50/50 split. Some of the working moms work part time.

[Anonymous]

I know I am repeating but I love the mom that said she didn't connect with many SAHM. I grew up with a very successful, overly involved in my life, WM and from the time I was about 10 or 11 I yearned for the day when I could be a full time mom. I went to college, grad school, started my own business and at 28 I am a SAHM not enjoying it as I thought I would. I too try to discuss the downside of staying home with my "mom friends" and it's almost as if I have touched on a taboo subject. While I wouldn't trade my endless time with our son for the world I do feel that sometimes my sense of self worth has changed. I never thought before that I would want to go out and do something where I could be "just me" and not someone's mom but I do very much miss having more of a personal identity. Anyone else agree?

[Anonymous]

I know I am repeating but I love the mom that said she didn't connect with many SAHM. I grew up with a very successful, overly involved in my life, WM and from the time I was about 10 or 11 I yearned for the day when I could be a full time mom. I went to college, grad school, started my own business and at 28 I am a SAHM not enjoying it as I thought I would. I too try to discuss the downside of staying home with my "mom friends" and it's almost as if I have touched on a taboo subject. While I wouldn't trade my endless time with our son for the world I do feel that sometimes my sense of self worth has changed. I never thought before that I would want to go out and do something where I could be "just me" and not someone's mom but I do very much miss having more of a personal identity. Anyone else agree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I am repeating but I love the mom that said she didn't connect with many SAHM. I grew up with a very successful, overly involved in my life, WM and from the time I was about 10 or 11 I yearned for the day when I could be a full time mom. I went to college, grad school, started my own business and at 28 I am a SAHM not enjoying it as I thought I would. I too try to discuss the downside of staying home with my "mom friends" and it's almost as if I have touched on a taboo subject. While I wouldn't trade my endless time with our son for the world I do feel that sometimes my sense of self worth has changed. I never thought before that I would want to go out and do something where I could be "just me" and not someone's mom but I do very much miss having more of a personal identity. Anyone else agree?

seems like a topic for a new thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I am repeating but I love the mom that said she didn't connect with many SAHM. I grew up with a very successful, overly involved in my life, WM and from the time I was about 10 or 11 I yearned for the day when I could be a full time mom. I went to college, grad school, started my own business and at 28 I am a SAHM not enjoying it as I thought I would. I too try to discuss the downside of staying home with my "mom friends" and it's almost as if I have touched on a taboo subject. While I wouldn't trade my endless time with our son for the world I do feel that sometimes my sense of self worth has changed. I never thought before that I would want to go out and do something where I could be "just me" and not someone's mom but I do very much miss having more of a personal identity. Anyone else agree?

I agree. I think it's a taboo subject that a lot of people don't feel comfortable talking about/admitting, esp in this area, where you have so many highly educated women that transitioned from powerful careers to SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Huh.
I'm a SAHM in the district and I haven't found the other SAHMs I know to be like this at all. We all gave up interesting careers to stay home and are VERY open and honest about the challenges of staying home and being a mom in general. I can't say I know one mom who wouldn't say outright that staying home sucks at times. That it is a life full of amazing moments with your kids but also hours of drudgery and tedium.

I think if I felt surrounded by moms aiming for perfection I'd be back to work full time next week. It's the camaraderie I feel with other moms that are open about their struggles that often keeps me going.

Where do you live in the district? Are there a lot of SAHMs there? And where did you meet these SAHMs? I'd like to find SAHMs like you and your friends, who sound just like me. I'm surrounded by the perfectionist types who drive me crazy.

[Anonymous]

EXCELLENT QUESTION. McLean seems 50/50, but I'm not so sure I'd want to hang out with 50% (perhaps they would feel the same), so automatically it's about 25%, assuming you'd actually meet them and they have the same aged children. Many moms don't seem to want to deal with their kids...I'm not knocking SAHM's or older moms since I'm both.....but the cell phone preoccupation and the little kids playing outdoors with no supervision....

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to find a playgroup for your area (or close to your area) to find SAHMs near you. Google your area and playgroups, or look on www.our-kids.com and see if you can find a playgroup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there a lot of SAHMs in McLean?

Like a PP said, I think it's about 50-50 (at least based on who picks up the kids from my sons school). I tried to meet other SAHM's thru this site and others and really had zero success. I've managed to make some very good friends (which I define as women I can talk about more than my kids with and who I'd grab a beer with on a bad/good day) through the school and also at the pool. It was near impossible to make friends with other SAHM's when I first moved here when my son was 1.5 because it seemed like groups/friendships had been formed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to be a SAHM (now working) in the Forest Glen area of Silver Spring and I agree with PPs re: Silver Spring. I'm just now realizing how fortunate I was to have other SAHMs around (who I rarely see since I now am at work all day)!

What are the schools like in your area? I'm the SAHM who has been looking at Rosemary Hills (Silver Spring). We like it because it's in the BCC cluster. The houses we've looked at in Forest Glen all feed into Einstein, and we've heard not such good things about that school.

I know some kids who go to Einstein and they're quite happy, engaged in activities and school, and respectful of others. I know the school had a gun incident last year but apparently that was an aberration.