How do you feel about hiring old SAHMs?

[Anonymous]

This is just the age old argument of whether or not women should stay home with their kids or continue in the workforce--instead of men belittling a woman's choice it is women belittling other women's choices. You all make me sick and ashamed to be guilty by association.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is just bitter because her kids are strangers to her, or she has no kids because she is infertile. Now she is mad because "how dare they stay home and then expect to get a job. I didn't take time off, so I will look down on those who did."

I prefer men in the workplace. I am glad I don't have to deal with bitches like you.

I don't think so. I know a lot of SAHMs and I applaud them for being able to stay at home with their children and acknowledge that it is hard work, but why on earth would I hire someone who has not been using their skills or kept up to date on new happenings/technology/whatever over someone who has been working for those 5 years and is likely more able to jump right into the job without having a learning curve? I'm not saying I wouldn't hire a SAHM who had the right skillset, but if I had to compare her to a similar candidate who had been working the whole time, I'd probably pick the candidate with more current skills.

Ok. I respect this post. This is about having current skills vs. singling out SAHMs as inferior. I can appreciate the way you phrased it. It just doesn't have that same arrogant tone as the OP.

[Anonymous]

All of you women are totally insecure! Wohms for choosing work (for whatever reason) and sahms for choosing to stay at home (for whatever reason). I think we should work on supporting one another and each others choices rather then spewing such nasty words. I am a sahm but prior to sahm-ing I was a supervisor of my agency. I'd interview people from many different backgrounds. If you were qualified and had a personality that was conducive to the workplace (so no drama), I'd hire you regardless of your sah status. At the end of the day personality went a long way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is just bitter because her kids are strangers to her, or she has no kids because she is infertile. Now she is mad because "how dare they stay home and then expect to get a job. I didn't take time off, so I will look down on those who did."

I prefer men in the workplace. I am glad I don't have to deal with bitches like you.

Really? Get help, honey. Way to project your own obvious anger on others.

OP here. I took extended maternity leave for my first. When I gave birth to my second, my husband's work relocated our family and I was able to stay home an extra few months with my child. I was desperate to go back to work. I worked my whole life, have earned ivy league degrees and put in my dues when I was in my 20's. I now work 40 hours a week, which is half of what I used to work.

I am neither infertile nor bitter. I just prefer not to hire women with resume gaps of 5+ years.

Right. Like I said, your kids are strangers to you. Your career is more important than your kids and you have an issue with women who take the opposite approach.

SAHMs who spout nonsense like this are certainly not making it easier for those SAHMs who are trying to reenter the workforce. We WOHMs are the ones doing the hiring, so you'd get a lot further by not insulting us.

In my field I'm much, much more likely to be interviewed and hired by men, most of whom are a decade or two older than I am (I'm 43). I've remained in close touch with my former colleagues as well as more senior management. You know what? They seem to think it's quite responsible of me to take time off. In short, it's virtually irrelevant what WOHMs think of my staying home in terms of my job prospects.

Also, I hear an ear-full at times about irresponsible women (and one man) who are parents and simply don't put in the required time and commitment after having kids. I assure you they aren't going anywhere with their careers at that organization. In fact, I've been asked twice in the past year to apply for positions I know my former female colleagues with kids were applying for. In neither case was a female with kids promoted. The women have no idea how clearly they are being passed over and how their work is viewed. Nobody wanted to give an employee, especially a mother, a negative performance review (what a legal headache), so these women receive lovely reviews, just not promotions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I stayed at home for 5+ years. Went back to work last year and had two job offers within weeks. I did address my gap in my cover letter and had one HR person thnk me for not having PTA volunteer work as part of my résumé.

You may want to look a bit more into the candidates. I promise, we can be excellent employees.

What line of work are you in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So strange. I've been a SAHM for years. I have been offered two well-paying, professional jobs in the last six months. I'm not even looking.

What's your professional background?

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous

OP here. I took extended maternity leave for my first. When I gave birth to my second, my husband's work relocated our family and I was able to stay home an extra few months with my child. I was desperate to go back to work. I worked my whole life, have earned ivy league degrees and put in my dues when I was in my 20's. I now work 40 hours a week, which is half of what I used to work.

I am neither infertile nor bitter. I just prefer not to hire women with resume gaps of 5+ years.

That's exactly my situation right now. What's your profession?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I took extended maternity leave for my first. When I gave birth to my second, my husband's work relocated our family and I was able to stay home an extra few months with my child. I was desperate to go back to work. I worked my whole life, have earned ivy league degrees and put in my dues when I was in my 20's. I now work 40 hours a week, which is half of what I used to work.

I am neither infertile nor bitter. I just prefer not to hire women with resume gaps of 5+ years.

That's exactly my situation right now. What's your profession?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow! What a horrible person you are. That is a very judgmental way of thinking and you obviously know it otherwise you wouldn't "feel a bit guilty." I hope karma bites you in the ass someday.

I have a gap because my husband was in a war zone for several months at a time and I stayed home with my son over the summer. I would like to get back into the work force and I just learned he is going back again. My son has special needs so it isn't so easy to just get a nanny. Obviously, I will figure it out. But, hearing this is really heart wrenching.

Here my husband is doing something good for the country and I get slammed for it. Lovely.

PP, my hat is off to you because I know how tough that can be. My DH is also frequently deployed and we have no family nearby, not even close friends. I stayed home with DS until he was about one year old and then I returned to work. I found no hostility when I applied for positions and I was able to find a job quickly. Now, I'm not a lawyer and I don't make 6 figures. I'm an administrative assistant and I have good computer skills and I have been told that I have excellent interpersonal skills. It is not easy to juggle a job, child, home and all of hte other responsibilities when you are also worried about your DH being deployed in a war zone, but there are people (and work places) out there who understand and are very helpful. My employer is very flexible with me when DH is gone. I'm still expected to complete all of my work on time, but I'm given a more flexible schedule which helps a great deal. This often means that I get little sleep and I work crazy long hours, but at least I have a job and a paycheck.

Don't give up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do believe that moms should stay at home with their babies for a while. I personally started working in my profession at 18, going to college at the same time. By mid-20s I had 2 kids and stayed at home with them for several years. Then I went back to school to get my Masters and got hired off campus by one of the largest consulting firms. And have had a very successful career thereafter.

If someone had worked for 10-15 years before having a child, what is a problem to stay with a baby for a couple years, if you already have a strong resume, great skill set and so many professionals in your network? Perhaps if people wait till 40s to have kids and stay at home till they are 50, then it might be hard to get back into the workforce because of the lack of energy, reduced ability to learn new processes, etc. It is hard to raise kids and have a career even when you are 20-30, so of course it gets only harder when a person turns 50.

Why would a woman over 50 have a "reduced ability to learn new processes, etc."? And what does the "etc." imply? Also, claiming women over 50 have a "lack of energy" is another false assumption.

[Anonymous]

If they upkept or even better upskilled during that time period its fine with me. I couldn't take time off in my career so I want to help the women behind me achieve what I could not.

[Anonymous]

MY SAHM has decided to go back to work after 12 years. She's 52, started looking over the last year, and has yet to land an interview. She's had a couple of phone calls but nothing has panned out. Her last job was as an IT Business Analyst making early 6 figures. She'll be happy to get half of that now. It's tough once you over 50 and have been out for awhile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also think that there may be a bit of an adjustment curve - not really with gaps of 1 and maybe even 2 years, but longer than that, I know that adjusting from being your own boss (so to speak) as a SAHM to having to adjust to outside demands may be more difficult for some SAHMs than others. I've seen that a few times and now am leary of it. I've had former SAHMs not understand that when a meeting begins at 9, it begins at 9 regardless of whether your LO woke up late or had a rough night or whatever. The common thread I see is that they have become accustomed to their schedules revolving around either their kids or themselves and have difficulties recognizing that in the workforce, schedules don't actually revolve around their families.

Sad but true. I think this would be the case if I went back to work.

[Anonymous]

If she was out of the workforce for 5 years or less, and was applying for a level of position that recognized that her skills are probably not as up to date as they were (i.e., not expecting to jump back in as if nothing at all had changed), I would have zero issue with it.

[Anonymous]

"The common thread I see is that they have become accustomed to their schedules revolving around either their kids or themselves and have difficulties recognizing that in the workforce, schedules don't actually revolve around their families. "

Ditto. They have been their own bosses, with no performance evaluations, that they just don't get it anymore.