First sleep over for my daughter, and the mom was drinking wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounded like a sleepover bday party and yes, some 6 year olds do have them.

I would personally prefer that adults in charge of my child for an evening abstain from drinking. I really am surprised that that is so unthinkable for most people. The need to drink or discomfort in socializing without it must be really strong for a lot of people.

If moms were just staying for a few minutes at drop off I would be even more concerned about serving them alcohol right before they walk out the door. If they were all going to stay and kill a few bottles that isn't cool with a house full of other people's kids. Esp kids as young as 6. OP had no way to know which scenario was in play and otherwise had only the choice of taking her kid home.

Not OP but I've refered to my kid as "chill" as have others. I'm 40.

For kids that aren't used to being around adults who are drinking a lot it can be scary to see them acting differently. For a lot of 6 year olds this was probably their first time sleeping over. Was the hostess really going to be as attentive in her supervision after a few drinks? By definition wouldn't the answer be no? Why is it ok and even cool that she can't not drink for an evening? If she was making pitchers of margaretas or gin and tonics would that get a different response? Why does wine always get such a pass on DCUM?

Completely agree with all of the above.

I am dumbfounded that so many posters can't fathom why a parent would take issue with another parent drinking while supervising a bunch of kids. As quoted posted said - WHY DO wine drinkers always seem to get a pass?

[Anonymous]

i think that wine drinkers would be much more likely to stop after one drink and are drinking it for the taste and not the alcohol content, whereas a pitcher or margaritas is much more of a party ingredient where you would be much more likely to consume more alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so sparkling cider, sparkling water, juice, etc. etc. etc.... It's rediculous that you can't not have your precious wine for one night while you're responsible for a bunch of children. But, like I said before.. I would know you well enough to tell you that to your face before I ever let (or chose not to let) my daughter spend the night in your home.

I'm sure they can go w/o wine and probably do many nights. They were being good hosts by offering adults a glass of wine, something they did not realize was a ref flag to you since you were raised by alcoholics. Most people not raised by alcoholics would not assume having a glass of wine would lead to drunkenness.

[Anonymous]

My father is an alcoholic. But fortunately my mother left him and later in life showed there is such a thing as social drinking that doesn't get out of hand.

One glass of wine? And offering it to all the moms? yeah, OP & others, I think you're a little uptight. One glass of wine does not equal "seeing the adult act differently" and severe changes in judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:23:12 again. If you don't know the parents well enough to know they won't get "sloshed", then you probably don't know them well enough for your child to sleep at their house.

I agree. 6 sounds very young for a birthday sleepover in the first place. Second, how well do you know this family?

[Anonymous]

Was the mom getting drunk? I'm sure she wasn't.

However, I don't think it sends a great message to the other parents to be having a glass of wine when they drop their daughter off at your house.

I would, at the very least, have raised an eyebrow, myself. I don't think the OP is crazy or uptight for questioning it.

[Anonymous]

Wine drinkers do get a pass. Why was this mom so anxious to have a drink? One glass alot of times leads to another. Its always "have 'A' glass of wine." How large is that "one" glass of wine? Do you stop at one? Who is watching?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was the mom getting drunk? I'm sure she wasn't.

However, I don't think it sends a great message to the other parents to be having a glass of wine when they drop their daughter off at your house.

I would, at the very least, have raised an eyebrow, myself. I don't think the OP is crazy or uptight for questioning it.

Not sure how you KNOW she was not going to get buzzed but agree with the rest of your post.

A lot of 6 year olds do have sleep overs and in the context of a bday party I can see not knowing the parents all that well. I personally don't drink nightly nor would I drink when responsible for other people's kids. Not just out of good manners but because it seems the responsible and adult thing to do. I doubt I am going to have to go to the ER or perform CPR. I wouldn't want people responsible for my kid to be drinking and I do the same. I think it may be the people who drink nightly who are attacking OP. After all, if you don't drink because other people's kids are there, then what does it mean when you drink nightly when your kids are?

This reminds me of the crazy thread where people argued how much wine it was ok to drink nightly when breastfeeding. It's always wine and always just a glass or 2.

The Girl Scout story is disturbing. There has been quite a bit of wine at all parent meetings for my DD's new troop, I could see that happening. Glad that it is against official policy.

[Anonymous]

PP here again. And what was with the girl scout leaders drinking. That just crosses a line. Oh "its just wine." I have seen more and more examples (not personal but on TV) of women whose alchoholism began with "ladies night out" or "having A glass of wine."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the mom getting drunk? I'm sure she wasn't.

However, I don't think it sends a great message to the other parents to be having a glass of wine when they drop their daughter off at your house.

I would, at the very least, have raised an eyebrow, myself. I don't think the OP is crazy or uptight for questioning it.

Not sure how you KNOW she was not going to get buzzed but agree with the rest of your post.

A lot of 6 year olds do have sleep overs and in the context of a bday party I can see not knowing the parents all that well. I personally don't drink nightly nor would I drink when responsible for other people's kids. Not just out of good manners but because it seems the responsible and adult thing to do. I doubt I am going to have to go to the ER or perform CPR. I wouldn't want people responsible for my kid to be drinking and I do the same. I think it may be the people who drink nightly who are attacking OP. After all, if you don't drink because other people's kids are there, then what does it mean when you drink nightly when your kids are?

This reminds me of the crazy thread where people argued how much wine it was ok to drink nightly when breastfeeding. It's always wine and always just a glass or 2.

The Girl Scout story is disturbing. There has been quite a bit of wine at all parent meetings for my DD's new troop, I could see that happening. Glad that it is against official policy.

12:05 and 12:09 here. Our posts crossed. The girl scout thing is disturbing. The wine "culture" exists for people to cover up the fact that what they are really interested in is catching a buzz not the intellectual aspects of fine wine production!!!

[Anonymous]

Are you people completely dense? The girl scout post was A JOKE. And the host of the party was offering (and drinking) wine because she had guests. How can you leap to "if she's doing it now she must be doing it nightly"? I don't drink because I am a single mom and always on call, but if I had a guest I would offer them a glass of wine and have one myself. It's normal. Maybe not in Southern Baptist "no drinking, no card playing" circles but in most normal circles -- emphasis on the word 'normal.'

[Anonymous]

I am dumbfounded that so many posters can't fathom why a parent would take issue with another parent drinking while supervising a bunch of kids. As quoted posted said - WHY DO wine drinkers always seem to get a pass?

What we can't fathom is how you are jumping from a glass of wine straight to the mother must be wasted and not being able to drive to the ER. If a mother was drinking more than one or two I'm fairly certain we would be pissed. It's the lack of being able to understand varying degrees of drinking. Having a social glass of wine with the other mothers hardly diserves the hysteria that some of these moms are posting. This issue is not black and white and to instantly jump to the worst case scenario is just stupid.

[Anonymous]

Parents need to rethink sleep overs and drinking. A girl in our neighborhood was given alcohol at a friend's sleep over by the older brother. He ended up sexually abusing the girl after the parents went to bed. Very disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wine drinkers do get a pass. Why was this mom so anxious to have a drink? One glass alot of times leads to another. Its always "have 'A' glass of wine." How large is that "one" glass of wine? Do you stop at one? Who is watching?

Okay, so what if it was only one glass? What if you're wrong...which you very well might be? Then what? Is it still bad if it was one glass? I know plenty of people who can stick to one glass of wine with no problem. Please calm down.

[Anonymous]

OMG, I'll bet she also offered the girls grilled cheese sandwiches. The nerve of some people!