Do you worry about your kids being able to maintain your current lifestyle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a humble brag thread.

Our HHI was the same as OP's almost twenty years ago. We never flew first class with the kids. There was no reason to. And we sent our kids to public schools because there was no reason to go private.

In short, OP is spoiling her kids and setting them up for disappointment. She's also sending the pathetic message that the things she is describing and spending money on are essential for a happy life.

We took nice vacations and enjoyed ourselves but weren't ridiculous like OP. Then we paid for college and weddings and down payments and left our kids sufficiently set up that they have never needed to make that much money. They're fine as they are and basically don't live any worse now than they did as kids.

Oh, the irony in your post...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you have a bunch of friends, whose parents are in the 1% and you see that they can never maintain that you realize that that’s just the way it is.

I kinda like being in the top 10% more than the one percent because the top one percent of some weird weirdness going on up there.

keep telling yourself that🤣🤣

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up upper middle class in a LCOL area. Parents did very well and owned multiple businesses.

I went to college with no debt, married husband and we also do well. HHI is around $700-800k a year. Sister is also doing very well and her HHI is around $1-1.2 million a year.

I worry our kids will get used to this lifestyle and never be able to replicate it. They are used to living in large houses, traveling to summer houses, flying on nice vacations (first class many times), etc. they aren’t spoiled at all and seem appreciative as much as kids can be but this is just the life they are used to. DH and I work hard and want to enjoy our life as well.

Do you also worry about your kids being able to maintain their lifestyle as they grow up? Of course DH and I do not want to or expect to fund our kids into adulthood and expect them to find careers and support themselves.

I’m not a parentfailure so my kids will inherit enough to maintain our lifestyle. Their challenge is to improve upon it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a humble brag thread.

Our HHI was the same as OP's almost twenty years ago. We never flew first class with the kids. There was no reason to. And we sent our kids to public schools because there was no reason to go private.

In short, OP is spoiling her kids and setting them up for disappointment. She's also sending the pathetic message that the things she is describing and spending money on are essential for a happy life.

We took nice vacations and enjoyed ourselves but weren't ridiculous like OP. Then we paid for college and weddings and down payments and left our kids sufficiently set up that they have never needed to make that much money. They're fine as they are and basically don't live any worse now than they did as kids.

Oh, the irony in your post...[/quote

Explain the irony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, my kids are 7 and 9 so, no, I do not actively worry about this.

We have a significantly lower HHI than you, but it is still way more money than my or DH's parents made. Cost of living in this area is way more than where we grew up too. We do not get financial help from family.

I hope to make sure my kids understand that they are not going to move our of our house into their own equivalent house and that the nice things we are able to do for them are us both working hard. I think they do know that already.

Honestly though, OP, if you do not plan to help your kids some in adulthood, why are you grinding to make over half a million dollars a year? Paid for college, money for a wedding (if they choose to marrry), downpayment for a home, paying for them to attend immediately family vacations are all things that my friends with wealthier parents have that make life a lot easier. It's not a trust fun or paying for daily living expenses but it sure helps and you likely could afford it.

Making $500K is not enough for all of that in a HCOLA. Sure, you pay for college and wedding, but you are not giving them a significant downpayment on that income where you have a lifestyle that requires much of it to live yourself.

Yes you can’t burn your money and have it too

[Anonymous]

I grew up MC in a LCOL area. I felt well off even though my parents were very careful and strict about spending because we had a house with two floors, a big yard, and I knew I'd be going to college and didn't have to stick to state schools (my parents saved and also knew how to navigate need-based FA). Even going on a big road trip and camping felt special because my best friend's family just didn't go on vacations, and my parents made us feel superior to all those people who just went to Disney or Myrtle Beach (I know, snobbery without money!).

Now my kids are growing up MC in a HCOL and I kind of think it's worse because their points of comparison are so different. They have friends in million dollar homes whose parents to buy them expensive sneakers as a hobby and take them to California for long weekends. We're still living in a townhouse, camping, and we buy new shoes when the old ones wear out. Similar lifestyle, doesn't feel the same.

So I guess I am not too worried about my kids falling down the ladder, they'll probably do the same but maybe better if they make better career choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I worry about them not being Able to afford healthcare.

Same. Healthcare and housing are brutal. Neither of us has ever made a six figure income but my wife's job has great benefits and we've talked about her hanging on to it for at least 6 more years. Besides needing the money (duh) we want to keep it going for the kids (to age 26) and so we can make it to Medicare age.

Healthcare costs are very real, especially in your 50s and 60s, and if you have had great coverage thru work at minimal costs. We currently get entire family (up to 10 kids) covered for Medical/dental/vision for $500/month, with a $1K/$2K deductible on a PPO plan. We are late 50s, and a silver EPO (no PPO available in our area) will cost $2.5K/month for just 2 of us with $9K/18K deductibles. So $8K basically and then we are only paying 20% (up to a max of $7K) or possibly up to $48K (minimum of $30K in premiums) before 20% kicks in. Oh and there is no dental/vision for that. So yes, healthcare will cost us $40K+ extra per year (and the 20 somethings are not on the plan anymore). It's a very real concern for many people.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think they will not be able to maintain our lifestyle. I do not worry about it though. They will be fine, just not as wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Not as wealthy as you, but this is why I send my kids to public school. Thinking about switching at some point, but don’t want their tastes to get too expensive.

I actually think about it more in terms of future grandchildren. So many people we know have 0-1 kids because they think they can’t afford more. I don’t want my kids to live a life where they feel they need to make a lot of money to have kids.

But we also plan to fund college and eventually give inheritances when we pass. They’re too young for us to know now if they’ll live a better life than us financially. But I’m not optimistic with AI developments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up upper middle class in a LCOL area. Parents did very well and owned multiple businesses.

I went to college with no debt, married husband and we also do well. HHI is around $700-800k a year. Sister is also doing very well and her HHI is around $1-1.2 million a year.

I worry our kids will get used to this lifestyle and never be able to replicate it. They are used to living in large houses, traveling to summer houses, flying on nice vacations (first class many times), etc. they aren’t spoiled at all and seem appreciative as much as kids can be but this is just the life they are used to. DH and I work hard and want to enjoy our life as well.

Do you also worry about your kids being able to maintain their lifestyle as they grow up? Of course DH and I do not want to or expect to fund our kids into adulthood and expect them to find careers and support themselves.

I grew up with so many kids like that and not too many were eager to move back to their old neighborhoods or any similar neighborhood. Some girls were taught early on by their mothers how important money and big houses and first class tickets are. They pushed them to “marry their own kind”. Some bought the whole thing and are living a duplicate of their parents lives.

Why wouldn’t you want to fund them into adulthood if this drastic change in housing for your children occurs? I’m a sure they’ll find a career and hopefully enjoy their work. You should be more interested in teaching them how to live within their means. Let them know that if an unexpected expense came up that they can go to you for help. The best feeling is money security and that has nothing to do with a high income. Your income is not really high enough to sustain first class tickets, summer houses and all the expenses that comes with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up upper middle class in a LCOL area. Parents did very well and owned multiple businesses.

I went to college with no debt, married husband and we also do well. HHI is around $700-800k a year. Sister is also doing very well and her HHI is around $1-1.2 million a year.

I worry our kids will get used to this lifestyle and never be able to replicate it. They are used to living in large houses, traveling to summer houses, flying on nice vacations (first class many times), etc. they aren’t spoiled at all and seem appreciative as much as kids can be but this is just the life they are used to. DH and I work hard and want to enjoy our life as well.

Do you also worry about your kids being able to maintain their lifestyle as they grow up? Of course DH and I do not want to or expect to fund our kids into adulthood and expect them to find careers and support themselves.

I grew up with so many kids like that and not too many were eager to move back to their old neighborhoods or any similar neighborhood. Some girls were taught early on by their mothers how important money and big houses and first class tickets are. They pushed them to “marry their own kind”. Some bought the whole thing and are living a duplicate of their parents lives.

Why wouldn’t you want to fund them into adulthood if this drastic change in housing for your children occurs? I’m a sure they’ll find a career and hopefully enjoy their work. You should be more interested in teaching them how to live within their means. Let them know that if an unexpected expense came up that they can go to you for help. The best feeling is money security and that has nothing to do with a high income. Your income is not really high enough to sustain first class tickets, summer houses and all the expenses that comes with it.

I’ve been reading this thread the past couple of days and I wasn’t going to be the first to say this but - yes!! I’m shocked OP thinks $700-800K HHI is super lux and that they are concerned about their kids not maintaining that HHI. It’s very much a solid UMC HHI in the DC suburbs, but I wouldn’t ever think to it wealthy, and it’s definitely not rare or even cracking the top 1% of households here based on the data.

Today, you wouldn’t be able to afford a large home (minimum $2M but closer to $3M if you care about the top zips) AND beach house ($2M for OC, $4M if you want Bethany or Rehoboth, and so on), let alone regular business class trips on top of all of that on $700-800K. I’d even say it’s a stretch at the low 1s HHI too unless you’ve got family $ or a liquidity event.

[Anonymous]

I’m not worried at all. We put money aside in a trust fund to make sure they can maintain our current lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Not really. It's being set up to supplement their own HHIs so that they can maintain similar lifestyles as adults both while we're here and after we are gone.

[Anonymous]

Children, to a large extent, will end up valuing what their parents teach them to value. If first class flights and big houses are what you value, then your children will think these material items are ver important. In that case you should worry, yes, because your children will mirror this. If you place more emphasis on valuing healthy relationships, healthy bodies, positive contributions to your family and society, and experiences over possessions then your child won’t worry about the size of their house and you shouldn’t worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up upper middle class in a LCOL area. Parents did very well and owned multiple businesses.

I went to college with no debt, married husband and we also do well. HHI is around $700-800k a year. Sister is also doing very well and her HHI is around $1-1.2 million a year.

I worry our kids will get used to this lifestyle and never be able to replicate it. They are used to living in large houses, traveling to summer houses, flying on nice vacations (first class many times), etc. they aren’t spoiled at all and seem appreciative as much as kids can be but this is just the life they are used to. DH and I work hard and want to enjoy our life as well.

Do you also worry about your kids being able to maintain their lifestyle as they grow up? Of course DH and I do not want to or expect to fund our kids into adulthood and expect them to find careers and support themselves.

HOw many kids do you have?