Intimacy with an ex-spouse - is it weird?

[Anonymous]

Eh, my grandparents divorced and then remarried again a decade later. Weird and probably dysfunctional, but it does happen.

[Anonymous]

Ewww

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re going to sleep with your ex husband, why bother getting divorced?

Honestly, not having to sleep my husband is one of the biggest benefits of getting divorced. I can’t imagine giving up half my assets, and dealing with custody of the kids only to still have to have sex with an ex. Like WHY?

You have the worst of all worlds.

Np. Agree. This must be a troll. In fact, I find the thought of sleeping with my ex dh so distasteful I couldn’t even open this thread for several days. ICK

[Anonymous]

Weird.

I had a glimmer of this with my ex-husband: he came to see me about six months after we separated. (I had moved away.) We slept in the same bed but didn’t do anything. The last night he was with me, he tried to kiss me, but I couldn’t do it.

Nothing happened after that, and we went on to have a very nasty divorce.

[Anonymous]

This is some kind of "It's complicated" situation. You must be financially comfortable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird.

I had a glimmer of this with my ex-husband: he came to see me about six months after we separated. (I had moved away.) We slept in the same bed but didn’t do anything. The last night he was with me, he tried to kiss me, but I couldn’t do it.

Nothing happened after that, and we went on to have a very nasty divorce.

Poor guy. You sound like a complete loser

[Anonymous]

Very unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

Just watch Scenes From A Marriage (HBO miniseries). It's really good and raw.

Anyways, it's probably indicative that you still have a weird codependency. That said, I think it's pretty normal and not uncommon for it to happen in the separation period or even once or twice after divorce. I know a few friends where they slept with ex or STBX.

[Anonymous]

You are really getting dumped on by the morality police. Sleeping with your ex is a lot more common than people make it out to be. I did it for about 6 months or so.

We were great in bed, but the rest of the relationship was terrible. No regrets about our divorce. Getting together for sex was not about re-kindling our relationship or getting back together. It was more like a booty-call with someone who knows you intimately so the sex is easy.

In the end, it's your business who you have sex with and why. Enjoy it while you can but realize, it's a dead end and may keep you from forming any new relationships.

At the same time, if you're not ready for a new relationship, but don't wish to be celibate or have sex with some rando, it can be viable solution in the short term.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who’s been sleeping with her ex for about a year…..but they split up 3 or 4 years ago AND he’s remarried, so it could be worse!

[Anonymous]

I can't even sleep with women I meet on a dating app who look like my ex wife. I've met a couple who wanted to but I couldn't get it going physically. It was embarrassing for me and the women. Now I stick with women who don't look like my ex

[Anonymous]

Everyone i know still sleeps with exes until they find someone new or get back together. A woman or man has needs so why not sleep with someone you are familiar with?

Many women on this site are very conservative/repressed. Its not a good site to post for this type of advice.

Long term though its not healthy to sleep with your ex if you want to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, my grandparents divorced and then remarried again a decade later. Weird and probably dysfunctional, but it does happen.

That’s totally different.

[Anonymous]

Eh, I’d read this romance novel!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone i know still sleeps with exes until they find someone new or get back together. A woman or man has needs so why not sleep with someone you are familiar with?

Many women on this site are very conservative/repressed. Its not a good site to post for this type of advice.

Long term though its not healthy to sleep with your ex if you want to move on.

You know a lot of weirdos who lack boundaries.