Christmas gifts vent

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I make a list of book titles my kids love and I keep them on a Notes app in my phone. That’s my go to suggestion for anyone who asks what the kids want.

Lego sets are another option that’s always well received. My kids are usually into something that translates well to legos AND it also lets the family members know what they’re into. (Sometimes they add a keychain or thirst, etc that’s offlist.) Lego Harry Potter has infinite options, same with Pokémon or Minecraft.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom always asked if the kids needed coats or snowsuits and then would pick up something from goodwill and brag about the bargain she got. Thanks mom.

Ha! At least you don’t need to feel guilty about sending it right back to Goodwill

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I love reading these suggestions (thank you Nanny poster!) and hearing that others find this a little bit irritating too. I can relate to being asked to supply every single idea and feeling pressured for it to be a "good" one bc the grandparents get disappointed if the kids aren't over the moon. One year I was also asked to wrap other people's gifts after researching and finding everything but I must have been visibly sour about it because that hasn't happened since haha.

Thanks to everyone who comisserated with my light-hearted early holiday gripe. I will pay it forward in this board in December.

NP. +1 million, OP! This thread resonates so much with me. I have too much on my mom plate and the needy relatives super irritate me. Most are retired and have all the darn time in the world, but their egos can’t deal if the kids don’t react to their own chosen gifts with 200% glee, so now it’s all my problem to create their magical moments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it OP. One of my kids has a December birthday too so it's even harder to come up with enough ideas for everyone! And my mom has a very specific formula of how she likes to give- a book, some clothes, a christmas ornament, and something else for <$20. Except, I'm expected to supply her with ideas for each of these things, or scroll through the dozens of links she sends me. For the "something else", if I tell her to get DD something crafty, like glitter markers or wasabi tape, etc., there will then be five follow up texts requesting links to specific craft kits. Gah! Like just go to Target or Michaels and pick something out! It's exhasusting.

At least with the adults we've really pared things back, both on my side and DH's.

This is not about the gifts. This is about your mom being lonely and bored. Is it any better if you reframe it in your mind to think of this as time you are putting in to help amuse your mom, rather than time you are putting in to buy crap your kids don’t really need? It helps me to think of it that way. Like taking her on a long outing to Costco — yes, I could do it more efficiently but it is a way for her to have something to do. I will likely be just as bored and lonely in 30 years.

PP and this couldn't be further from the truth, lol. She is definitely not lonely and bored, she has a busier social life than me, volunteers, has a very part-time retirement job. Sounds like it's an issue with you mom? Glad you can amuse her with Costco trips, that's very kind of you.

[Anonymous]

Grandma wants to buy something they can unwrap

The gifts are never for the children. They are for Grandma.

[Anonymous]

I have all my adult kids as additional users on my Amex card as part of my arrangement with my ex. They each have a certain allowance.

I buy lego sets with points every so often.

I have one son who lives abroad in a country my in-laws are very suspicious of. His grandparents have very MAGA politics and we had a fun time one year picking out the White House Lego set for his 5yo cousin because he knew they wouldn't say ANYTHING about it being inappropriate.

That was actually something that made me laugh many times. Next year the 6yo got a Captain America. It was quite hilarious to have him tell me how they wanted to say something about it not being right somehow and they just. could. not. find. the. words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Grandma wants to buy something they can unwrap

The gifts are never for the children. They are for Grandma.

You could say that for anyone who wants to see someone open their gifts, including the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send a list of books that you want. They can be age appropriate for now or for the future. If you need help generating a list, DCUM loves giving book recs. We will help you out.

+1

Focus on books.

[Anonymous]

When our kids were small, they really loved magazine subscriptions (Nat Geo Kids, etc.) because they finally got something in the mail. It was so exciting for them to check the mail daily and see if they got anything, and they really were over the moon when they got their monthly subscription! If your kids are like this, find several subscriptions... then they'll have several opportunities each month to get really excited about it. When they're done reading it, recycle it or have them take it to school and give it to a friend.

Otherwise, I suggest something consumable, like food for adults and either classes for kids (i.e., ballet, piano) or something like a National Park Pass. It doesn't take up space in your house! (That was one of my #1 goals, after all of the kids' stuff everywhere).