37 year old son unemployed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the responses here are a bit cruel. The current job market is rough. I would suggest that your DS look for some kind of project work that can cover for any resume gaps while hitting as many informational interviews as possible to explore possibilities. Something will come up and things will turn around for him. You are a good, supportive parent.

Sure job market is "rough" but he can go get any job---starbucks, target, any retail/restaurnat/ nursing home, etc. That is what grown adults do when they cannot find a job in their "targeted area"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am glad his ex wife got away from this loser and I hope she gets married to someone great soon so she can still have kids.

You sound like a nightmare MIL.

And wtf did he think he would do with a masters in European studies??

+1

It should have been obvious from the start that he might have a long path to finding a "meaningful job on a career path that is perfect for him", that's what happens with majors like that. You have to be flexible, take any job you can that provides any experience and work your ass off to network and forge a path towards what you want. Those jobs don't just drop in front of you (like say it might with a Mech Eng or CS degree). He got a Masters in it, so he had to have known this was the case.
Sounds like he hasn't put in the work to get there yet and isnt' willing to pivot (which is what most successful people who got humanities degrees have had to do---nobody is putting a job posting for an "MA in European Studies" that just isn't happening

[Anonymous]

If he can get a handle on his mental health, he might be a very good candidate to apply for a substitute job in an area school division in the social studies or government area. He might if he finds he likes subbing be able to put in for a long-term sub. With a BA and MA in likely history or other social sciences, he might have a pathway to get a teaching job in the future. But he needs to get any job now and get his mind straight on what "adult life" is all about.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I don’t appreciate your cruel response towards my son. He is a good boy with the biggest heart. He basically supported his ex wife for most of the time they were married and instead of being patient and supportive she kept pushing him. My son is the hardest worker and will figure out his life’s purpose. Not everyone is suited to office life. I don’t mind him living with me as it’s nice to have company and he is a great conversationalist. I do wish he was happier and didn’t drink so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don’t appreciate your cruel response towards my son. He is a good boy with the biggest heart. He basically supported his ex wife for most of the time they were married and instead of being patient and supportive she kept pushing him. My son is the hardest worker and will figure out his life’s purpose. Not everyone is suited to office life. I don’t mind him living with me as it’s nice to have company and he is a great conversationalist. I do wish he was happier and didn’t drink so much.

The highlighted portion is the real problem. He should stop drinking alcohol !!!! Not one drop !

Alcohol leads to laziness & depression.

[Anonymous]

Schools are begging for special education teachers. He needs to basically take a test to get provisional certification and can start working right away while he does course work for certification. Tell him to send his resume to an AP at a school that interests him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don’t appreciate your cruel response towards my son. He is a good boy with the biggest heart. He basically supported his ex wife for most of the time they were married and instead of being patient and supportive she kept pushing him. My son is the hardest worker and will figure out his life’s purpose. Not everyone is suited to office life. I don’t mind him living with me as it’s nice to have company and he is a great conversationalist. I do wish he was happier and didn’t drink so much.

This is what enabling looks like. Your, good boy" is clearly NOT "the hardest worker" or he'd be busting his ass in multiple jobs right now. And a wife pushing him instead of being "patient and supportive" while her deadbeat husband hangs around the house drinking all day is not abusive. Let me guess, there is no dad in the house and you are basically relying on him for companionship and to act as a pseudo husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don’t appreciate your cruel response towards my son. He is a good boy with the biggest heart. He basically supported his ex wife for most of the time they were married and instead of being patient and supportive she kept pushing him. My son is the hardest worker and will figure out his life’s purpose. Not everyone is suited to office life. I don’t mind him living with me as it’s nice to have company and he is a great conversationalist. I do wish he was happier and didn’t drink so much.

This is what enabling looks like. Your, good boy" is clearly NOT "the hardest worker" or he'd be busting his ass in multiple jobs right now. And a wife pushing him instead of being "patient and supportive" while her deadbeat husband hangs around the house drinking all day is not abusive. Let me guess, there is no dad in the house and you are basically relying on him for companionship and to act as a pseudo husband.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He needs medication and therapy

+1

Part of the deal to live with us/have us help with rent elsewhere would be he must see a doctor and get the therapy (and possibly meds) needed to get back on track. I'd also pay for a career coach/EF coach to add to the help

If he didn't agree to that (and follow thru---I'd help) then I would have to let him hit rock bottom.
You don’t want to let him do that-rock bottom is 6 feet under.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. He has a masters degree from Georgetown and wanted to go to one of the Fed agencies. He was not able to get in and has been trying different things. Most recently he attempted self employment and became discouraged when his work dried up. He was also in an abusive marriage where his wife was upset with him for lot being ready to have children which also brought him down I think.

He feels very depressed and doesn’t know how to obtain gainful employment and thinks he is too old now.

He's only getting older, every single day, so he will never be able to get a job again? He's going to be a leech forever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don’t appreciate your cruel response towards my son. He is a good boy with the biggest heart. He basically supported his ex wife for most of the time they were married and instead of being patient and supportive she kept pushing him. My son is the hardest worker and will figure out his life’s purpose. Not everyone is suited to office life. I don’t mind him living with me as it’s nice to have company and he is a great conversationalist. I do wish he was happier and didn’t drink so much.

If she is similar age and wants kids, and he knew about that, she has every right to decide to move on. At 35/37, she doesn't have much time left to have kids naturally. And they have been married for 8 years, so he's had time to figure things out.

Most of us would be annoyed with a 35+ yo who can't hold a job and isn't working any job while looking. That's very different than 23/24

[Anonymous]

He has been a victim of abuse for the past eight years. He will likely never fully heal from what she did to him. Give him time to heal and support him as much as you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. He says with his education he cannot obtain employment in the private sector as he is not a business major. And he doesn’t want to work at non profits as they don’t pay enough.

Non profits pay more than NOTHING, which is what he's earning now. NOTHING.

He can't afford to be picky. He needs to work somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Have I missed this? He's 37, what was he doing from undergrad up until now besides a 1 to 2 year grad degree and 3 year unemployment? There are a bunch of prime working years here that seem to be left out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who would want to be a man in our society today? Men are giving up. He isn't an outlier. He's right on trend. Many men are packing it in and calling it a day, gone fishing. Forever.

Seriously? If he wants to give up, then he can do it on his own time and dime.