ADHD college kid overwhelmed by assignments

[Anonymous]

Alarms and schedules. She needs to take control of her day and depending on herself isn't enough. Writing an assignment deadline is a start, but she needs to make herself accountable to the steps involved in that. Yes, it's going to mean not always being able to "do her own thing." Start by identifying a few parts of her schedule where she can work. Maybe there is a 2 hour gap between two classes. She needs to go straight to a library or work place and focus on assignments. Every week it needs to be the same. That block becomes a "class" in her mind. Ask her to also schedule time with classmates for work groups or study times. Others help keep you accountable. Our kids live in a tech world so invite her to harness that. Set alarms on her watch to trigger her to go get work done. Pop up reminders for tasks will help her memory. Get her religiously using a planner book or Google Calendar to record tasks. Part of her every morning is to look at that and plan the day accordingly.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:ADHD kids mature more slowly and need more guidance. EF often doesn't come naturally to them, but they can learn. They often have strengths nonADHD people don't. They can be extremely creative, for example. There is a lot of good advice on this thread but also a lot of ignorant comments from people who have no experience with ADHD. Our kid wouldn't trade their brain, but it comes with huge challenges too.

that's great, but as a boss I don't care about your extremely creative mind when you are unable to meet deadlines.

Don’t worry boss. PP’s kid will be using AI to creatively meet your deadlines, and will probably taking over your position sooner than you think.

More likely PP's kid will be overwhelmed trying to make it to work on time.

And you say that with glee?

You should be ashamed of yourself.

There's an element of truth to it. The sooner people realize it, the better off their kids will be. 20 some years of special extensions has drawbacks.

The point is that they learn from the accommodations and become self-sufficient. Our kid is about to graduate from college, which we never could have imagined 10 years ago. But with dedicated professionals guiding them, they learned and thrived.

That's great for you kid. Hopefully op's kid can learn self-sufficiency too. And hopefully they can get jobs and be productive members of society. But clearly other parents posting plan to continue to expect accommodations for their children well into adulthood and that is not a wise or practical expectation.

That’s not “clear” at all. You’re just grasping for ways to deflect your prejudice against kids with special needs and the necessary accommodations they receive as they are growing up and learning to be self-sufficient.

Accommodations in college are a sign of failure to parent during the 18 years you had them.

Let’s let this ignorant statement sit here and stew in its own toxicity.

It’s toxic because you disagree with it, not because it’s wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes she talked to her professors and they were accommodating, giving her extensions for assignments. However it’s still hard for her to get assignments done, sometimes it’s just very hard for her to start, even though the assignments are not hard according to her. She told me she wished there was someone who could get things together for her. That’s had been an issue at home but I used to help her. She is a very smart girl, just not good at managing her time.

Talking to profs isn't enough, she needs to go through the process with the disability office. You also may need to hire a coach to work with her on executive functioning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ADHD kids mature more slowly and need more guidance. EF often doesn't come naturally to them, but they can learn. They often have strengths nonADHD people don't. They can be extremely creative, for example. There is a lot of good advice on this thread but also a lot of ignorant comments from people who have no experience with ADHD. Our kid wouldn't trade their brain, but it comes with huge challenges too.

that's great, but as a boss I don't care about your extremely creative mind when you are unable to meet deadlines.

Don’t worry boss. PP’s kid will be using AI to creatively meet your deadlines, and will probably taking over your position sooner than you think.

More likely PP's kid will be overwhelmed trying to make it to work on time.

And you say that with glee?

You should be ashamed of yourself.

There's an element of truth to it. The sooner people realize it, the better off their kids will be. 20 some years of special extensions has drawbacks.

The point is that they learn from the accommodations and become self-sufficient. Our kid is about to graduate from college, which we never could have imagined 10 years ago. But with dedicated professionals guiding them, they learned and thrived.

That's great for you kid. Hopefully op's kid can learn self-sufficiency too. And hopefully they can get jobs and be productive members of society. But clearly other parents posting plan to continue to expect accommodations for their children well into adulthood and that is not a wise or practical expectation.

That’s not “clear” at all. You’re just grasping for ways to deflect your prejudice against kids with special needs and the necessary accommodations they receive as they are growing up and learning to be self-sufficient.

Accommodations in college are a sign of failure to parent during the 18 years you had them.

Let’s let this ignorant statement sit here and stew in its own toxicity.

It’s toxic because you disagree with it, not because it’s wrong.

Of course it’s wrong!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes she talked to her professors and they were accommodating, giving her extensions for assignments. However it’s still hard for her to get assignments done, sometimes it’s just very hard for her to start, even though the assignments are not hard according to her. She told me she wished there was someone who could get things together for her. That’s had been an issue at home but I used to help her. She is a very smart girl, just not good at managing her time.

Talking to profs isn't enough, she needs to go through the process with the disability office. You also may need to hire a coach to work with her on executive functioning.

+1 with the disability office. When she goes she'll see that half of the school is already there.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Does the school have office for disable, something like that? I think these kids need some system support. For example the professions give extended deadline and etc. I am very worried about mine too. Mine is in high school, with some help, the report cards are great. But without any help, it could totally crash.

You aren’t getting extended deadlines in college. Won’t happen. You get a syllabus, the end. She needs to drop classes and don’t take more than she can handle. Or try community college where mommy can babysit.

You are a world-class a**hole.

You’re just mad someone told you the truth.

Do you have a special needs child?

I have 2 kids with an ADHD diagnosis. I consider neither to be “special needs.”

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks again t everyone who tried to help. It turned out she had skipped classes and missed assignments for one of her courses over the past couple weeks. There were some complications with her medication which made it hard for her to focus an get work done. As with many smart kids who have ADHD, she gets perfect scores in some subjects—actually, most of them—and zeroes in others. Thankfully, she reached out to me before things got worse. I helped her contact her doctor and professor and I’m currently acting as her body double while she catches up on assignments. Things are looking up.

Once she’s back on track, I’ll encourage her to connect with peer support program at her school to improve her executive function and become more self-sufficient. If that doesn’t help, I’ll try hiring a EF coach. It would probably be easier if she were attending a college closer to home, but I believe she’ll find her way in time. Many of your suggestions are great and I appreciate it so much, I saved them and will pass on to her. However, for ADHD kids ike her it’s so true “easy things are hard, hard things are easy”. It’ll take time and practices and failures before she truly gets on top of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes she talked to her professors and they were accommodating, giving her extensions for assignments. However it’s still hard for her to get assignments done, sometimes it’s just very hard for her to start, even though the assignments are not hard according to her. She told me she wished there was someone who could get things together for her. That’s had been an issue at home but I used to help her. She is a very smart girl, just not good at managing her time.

Talking to profs isn't enough, she needs to go through the process with the disability office. You also may need to hire a coach to work with her on executive functioning.

+1. This is what disability services does

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does the school have office for disable, something like that? I think these kids need some system support. For example the professions give extended deadline and etc. I am very worried about mine too. Mine is in high school, with some help, the report cards are great. But without any help, it could totally crash.

You aren’t getting extended deadlines in college. Won’t happen. You get a syllabus, the end. She needs to drop classes and don’t take more than she can handle. Or try community college where mommy can babysit.

You are a world-class a**hole.

You’re just mad someone told you the truth.

Do you have a special needs child?

I have 2 kids with an ADHD diagnosis. I consider neither to be “special needs.”

Because how horrible it would be if they had special needs!! YOU would never produce one of THOSE!