Thinking about Baby #4

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My surprise 4th is the best gift I’ve ever received. The BEST!

Beautiful!

Weird to applaud sloppy contraception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We hadn’t discussed a fourth…it just happened. My last two are barely 20 months apart. It was a surprise—the best surprise.

FTR, I blame my husband for the pregnancy ;0)

I honestly think most 16 year olds are more responsible about birth control than the women of DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We hadn’t discussed a fourth…it just happened. My last two are barely 20 months apart. It was a surprise—the best surprise.

FTR, I blame my husband for the pregnancy ;0)

I honestly think most 16 year olds are more responsible about birth control than the women of DCUM.

If true, I’m sure it’s because married women with children having “oops” babies were more open to the “oops” when they made their choices. That’s fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We hadn’t discussed a fourth…it just happened. My last two are barely 20 months apart. It was a surprise—the best surprise.

FTR, I blame my husband for the pregnancy ;0)

I honestly think most 16 year olds are more responsible about birth control than the women of DCUM.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We hadn’t discussed a fourth…it just happened. My last two are barely 20 months apart. It was a surprise—the best surprise.

FTR, I blame my husband for the pregnancy ;0)

I honestly think most 16 year olds are more responsible about birth control than the women of DCUM.

Eh, when you are 40+ and your cycles change without you really knowing it (you ovulate earlier or later than you expect based on when your flow starts), things can happen…particularly when you can’t be on the pill or hormone-based BC because you suffer from severe migraines or have other reasons (stroke risk)…

This forum is filled with women who are approaching perimenopause who have a surprise pregnancy. Regardless, most of us have the resources to navigate a surprise 4th.

[Anonymous]

Don’t ask DCUM about having another child. They will always tell you no and shame you for even suggesting how great an additional child might be. There is a deeply embedded evolutionary bias women have against other women reproducing, which is why you see overwhelming protest against you having another. I used to think it was a weird DCUM quirk, but it’s more widespread. The best people to ask if you should have another is your husband and your mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t ask DCUM about having another child. They will always tell you no and shame you for even suggesting how great an additional child might be. There is a deeply embedded evolutionary bias women have against other women reproducing, which is why you see overwhelming protest against you having another. I used to think it was a weird DCUM quirk, but it’s more widespread. The best people to ask if you should have another is your husband and your mom.

She already asked her partner and they are a clear no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We hadn’t discussed a fourth…it just happened. My last two are barely 20 months apart. It was a surprise—the best surprise.

FTR, I blame my husband for the pregnancy ;0)

I honestly think most 16 year olds are more responsible about birth control than the women of DCUM.

Eh, when you are 40+ and your cycles change without you really knowing it (you ovulate earlier or later than you expect based on when your flow starts), things can happen…particularly when you can’t be on the pill or hormone-based BC because you suffer from severe migraines or have other reasons (stroke risk)…

This forum is filled with women who are approaching perimenopause who have a surprise pregnancy. Regardless, most of us have the resources to navigate a surprise 4th.

What’s preventing the man from wearing condoms? And using a spermicide, to further reduce the risk of pregnancy?

If you aren’t using birth control, a pregnancy is not a surprise. I can believe this needs to be explained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We hadn’t discussed a fourth…it just happened. My last two are barely 20 months apart. It was a surprise—the best surprise.

FTR, I blame my husband for the pregnancy ;0)

I honestly think most 16 year olds are more responsible about birth control than the women of DCUM.

Eh, when you are 40+ and your cycles change without you really knowing it (you ovulate earlier or later than you expect based on when your flow starts), things can happen…particularly when you can’t be on the pill or hormone-based BC because you suffer from severe migraines or have other reasons (stroke risk)…

This forum is filled with women who are approaching perimenopause who have a surprise pregnancy. Regardless, most of us have the resources to navigate a surprise 4th.

What’s preventing the man from wearing condoms? And using a spermicide, to further reduce the risk of pregnancy?

If you aren’t using birth control, a pregnancy is not a surprise. I can believe this needs to be explained.

I think sometimes people mean different things when they use terms like “unplanned” or “surprise.” If an older couple finds themselves unexpectedly pregnant but can easily get excited, that’s not really the same thing as a teenage pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

I felt like OP, but my DH was okay with trying for a 4th because I felt so strongly. The 4th is in elementary school now. For our family, adding the 4th has been great. Definitely more expensive, but not that much more work since the youngest two are close and do activities together.

[Anonymous]

Im betting OP is pushing 40. Too old for another kid.