Teen boys and portion sizes

[Anonymous]

It’s totally reasonable to say there’s a limited amount of some foods. If it’s an almost every night thing, it does sound like your kid wants more food. I’m sure he’s looking at it like “she gets unlimited servings of her dish, why can’t I get more of mine”.

If it was me, I’d avoid the issue by serving more meat when that’s what you’re making punctuated by days where everyone eats vegetarian. Also, avoid serving meat on its own. Mixing it into a stir fry or pasta will make it feel like your son gets more of “his” meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is fair to limit more expensive food. It is fine to limit meat to a portion, but, you might want to reconsider what a portion size is if your budget allows for it. Lots of women who restrict their own caloric intake forget that younger people need larger portions. Again, if this is mostly driven by a strict budget, it’s fine to say that is all you can afford. I would teach your kids about the prices of food and also have a conversation about how life is not always fair.

I'm not serving them larger portions. I'm giving them more portions. Let's say I'm making burgers. I make all the burgers the same size. I eat one cheeseburger with no bun. Dad eats 1 cheeseburger with a bun. Teens eat 2 cheeseburgers with buns. Then we have run out of burgers, and all there are are sides, including baked beans, and other foods with less protein. Those are in unlimited portions, because I make enough to anticipate leftovers.

Also, I'll note that maybe we're eating dinner at 7:00. But as the teens got home they each made themselves a "snack". I put that in quotes, because what they think is a nice little snack to take the edge off from dinner is something like 2 turkey and cheese sandwiches, an apple with peanut butter, a banana, some chips and guacamole, and a large slice of baked oatmeal. If I ate that much, I'd be full till bedtime. So, I do recognize that their appetite is different from mine.

-- OP

I guess that’s just the fundamental difference. If I’ve “run out” of burgers and a person hasn’t had as much as they would have wanted, I’d feel like I hadn’t bought/made enough burgers. But you don’t feel this way because you feel like that person should just eat something else since there’s other food left. Maybe this is cultural.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is fair to limit more expensive food. It is fine to limit meat to a portion, but, you might want to reconsider what a portion size is if your budget allows for it. Lots of women who restrict their own caloric intake forget that younger people need larger portions. Again, if this is mostly driven by a strict budget, it’s fine to say that is all you can afford. I would teach your kids about the prices of food and also have a conversation about how life is not always fair.

I'm not serving them larger portions. I'm giving them more portions. Let's say I'm making burgers. I make all the burgers the same size. I eat one cheeseburger with no bun. Dad eats 1 cheeseburger with a bun. Teens eat 2 cheeseburgers with buns. Then we have run out of burgers, and all there are are sides, including baked beans, and other foods with less protein. Those are in unlimited portions, because I make enough to anticipate leftovers.

Also, I'll note that maybe we're eating dinner at 7:00. But as the teens got home they each made themselves a "snack". I put that in quotes, because what they think is a nice little snack to take the edge off from dinner is something like 2 turkey and cheese sandwiches, an apple with peanut butter, a banana, some chips and guacamole, and a large slice of baked oatmeal. If I ate that much, I'd be full till bedtime. So, I do recognize that their appetite is different from mine.

-- OP

I guess that’s just the fundamental difference. If I’ve “run out” of burgers and a person hasn’t had as much as they would have wanted, I’d feel like I hadn’t bought/made enough burgers. But you don’t feel this way because you feel like that person should just eat something else since there’s other food left. Maybe this is cultural.

Which culture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is fair to limit more expensive food. It is fine to limit meat to a portion, but, you might want to reconsider what a portion size is if your budget allows for it. Lots of women who restrict their own caloric intake forget that younger people need larger portions. Again, if this is mostly driven by a strict budget, it’s fine to say that is all you can afford. I would teach your kids about the prices of food and also have a conversation about how life is not always fair.

I'm not serving them larger portions. I'm giving them more portions. Let's say I'm making burgers. I make all the burgers the same size. I eat one cheeseburger with no bun. Dad eats 1 cheeseburger with a bun. Teens eat 2 cheeseburgers with buns. Then we have run out of burgers, and all there are are sides, including baked beans, and other foods with less protein. Those are in unlimited portions, because I make enough to anticipate leftovers.

Also, I'll note that maybe we're eating dinner at 7:00. But as the teens got home they each made themselves a "snack". I put that in quotes, because what they think is a nice little snack to take the edge off from dinner is something like 2 turkey and cheese sandwiches, an apple with peanut butter, a banana, some chips and guacamole, and a large slice of baked oatmeal. If I ate that much, I'd be full till bedtime. So, I do recognize that their appetite is different from mine.

-- OP

I guess that’s just the fundamental difference. If I’ve “run out” of burgers and a person hasn’t had as much as they would have wanted, I’d feel like I hadn’t bought/made enough burgers. But you don’t feel this way because you feel like that person should just eat something else since there’s other food left. Maybe this is cultural.

Which culture?

I’m from a culture that feeds people (think Italian, Russian, etc.). I know WASP culture is not this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is fair to limit more expensive food. It is fine to limit meat to a portion, but, you might want to reconsider what a portion size is if your budget allows for it. Lots of women who restrict their own caloric intake forget that younger people need larger portions. Again, if this is mostly driven by a strict budget, it’s fine to say that is all you can afford. I would teach your kids about the prices of food and also have a conversation about how life is not always fair.

I'm not serving them larger portions. I'm giving them more portions. Let's say I'm making burgers. I make all the burgers the same size. I eat one cheeseburger with no bun. Dad eats 1 cheeseburger with a bun. Teens eat 2 cheeseburgers with buns. Then we have run out of burgers, and all there are are sides, including baked beans, and other foods with less protein. Those are in unlimited portions, because I make enough to anticipate leftovers.

Also, I'll note that maybe we're eating dinner at 7:00. But as the teens got home they each made themselves a "snack". I put that in quotes, because what they think is a nice little snack to take the edge off from dinner is something like 2 turkey and cheese sandwiches, an apple with peanut butter, a banana, some chips and guacamole, and a large slice of baked oatmeal. If I ate that much, I'd be full till bedtime. So, I do recognize that their appetite is different from mine.

-- OP

I guess that’s just the fundamental difference. If I’ve “run out” of burgers and a person hasn’t had as much as they would have wanted, I’d feel like I hadn’t bought/made enough burgers. But you don’t feel this way because you feel like that person should just eat something else since there’s other food left. Maybe this is cultural.

Maybe it's financial. Eating cheaper food to fill up is a well established form of home economy. You don't fill up on meat if that means you run out of grocery money.

OP kid just needs real world education on household economics. And to understand that there's a reason why it's not unlimited steak night every night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is fair to limit more expensive food. It is fine to limit meat to a portion, but, you might want to reconsider what a portion size is if your budget allows for it. Lots of women who restrict their own caloric intake forget that younger people need larger portions. Again, if this is mostly driven by a strict budget, it’s fine to say that is all you can afford. I would teach your kids about the prices of food and also have a conversation about how life is not always fair.

I'm not serving them larger portions. I'm giving them more portions. Let's say I'm making burgers. I make all the burgers the same size. I eat one cheeseburger with no bun. Dad eats 1 cheeseburger with a bun. Teens eat 2 cheeseburgers with buns. Then we have run out of burgers, and all there are are sides, including baked beans, and other foods with less protein. Those are in unlimited portions, because I make enough to anticipate leftovers.

Also, I'll note that maybe we're eating dinner at 7:00. But as the teens got home they each made themselves a "snack". I put that in quotes, because what they think is a nice little snack to take the edge off from dinner is something like 2 turkey and cheese sandwiches, an apple with peanut butter, a banana, some chips and guacamole, and a large slice of baked oatmeal. If I ate that much, I'd be full till bedtime. So, I do recognize that their appetite is different from mine.

-- OP

I guess that’s just the fundamental difference. If I’ve “run out” of burgers and a person hasn’t had as much as they would have wanted, I’d feel like I hadn’t bought/made enough burgers. But you don’t feel this way because you feel like that person should just eat something else since there’s other food left. Maybe this is cultural.

Which culture?

I’m from a culture that feeds people (think Italian, Russian, etc.). I know WASP culture is not this way.

I am curious. In my experience, Italian food uses carbs like pasta to stretch meals all the time. Russians use dumplings and cabbage and other things. Is it true that in those cultures a kid who wanted to skip the pasta and the dumplings and the vegetables and just eat meat would be able to do that?

[Anonymous]

This OPs future daughter in law will probably be thr poster of a future epic dcum Thanksgiving post.

She is the younger version of the mil that won't feed anyone, cant believe you are still hungry and makes you wait all day for food etc. Her future daughter in law will be hiding food gift baskets in luggage so her kids dont starve .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This OPs future daughter in law will probably be thr poster of a future epic dcum Thanksgiving post.

She is the younger version of the mil that won't feed anyone, cant believe you are still hungry and makes you wait all day for food etc. Her future daughter in law will be hiding food gift baskets in luggage so her kids dont starve .

Oh this is an absurd jump. Yes he’s a growing boy, but if after school he’s already had “2 turkey and cheese sandwiches, an apple with peanut butter, a banana, some chips and guacamole, and a large slice of baked oatmeal.” and THEN for dinner he has two hamburgers with buns plus unlimited sides, this kid is far from starving. I have a teen boy at home and he wouldn’t be demanding extra meat if he’s already had two servings. This is an issue of a bratty kid, not a starved one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This OPs future daughter in law will probably be thr poster of a future epic dcum Thanksgiving post.

She is the younger version of the mil that won't feed anyone, cant believe you are still hungry and makes you wait all day for food etc. Her future daughter in law will be hiding food gift baskets in luggage so her kids dont starve .

Oh this is an absurd jump. Yes he’s a growing boy, but if after school he’s already had “2 turkey and cheese sandwiches, an apple with peanut butter, a banana, some chips and guacamole, and a large slice of baked oatmeal.” and THEN for dinner he has two hamburgers with buns plus unlimited sides, this kid is far from starving. I have a teen boy at home and he wouldn’t be demanding extra meat if he’s already had two servings. This is an issue of a bratty kid, not a starved one.

If it isn't a financial impossibility, feed your child. Teenagers are growing and developing at a rapid rate. Not just physically, but emotionally and intellectually. They need food and sleep. Feed your effing kid as much as they need. Why is this so difficult? It's not like the kid wants junk food. The kid wants meat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This OPs future daughter in law will probably be thr poster of a future epic dcum Thanksgiving post.

She is the younger version of the mil that won't feed anyone, cant believe you are still hungry and makes you wait all day for food etc. Her future daughter in law will be hiding food gift baskets in luggage so her kids dont starve .

Oh this is an absurd jump. Yes he’s a growing boy, but if after school he’s already had “2 turkey and cheese sandwiches, an apple with peanut butter, a banana, some chips and guacamole, and a large slice of baked oatmeal.” and THEN for dinner he has two hamburgers with buns plus unlimited sides, this kid is far from starving. I have a teen boy at home and he wouldn’t be demanding extra meat if he’s already had two servings. This is an issue of a bratty kid, not a starved one.

If it isn't a financial impossibility, feed your child. Teenagers are growing and developing at a rapid rate. Not just physically, but emotionally and intellectually. They need food and sleep. Feed your effing kid as much as they need. Why is this so difficult? It's not like the kid wants junk food. The kid wants meat.

The kid doesn't need to eat that much. He's bored and claiming he's hungry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This OPs future daughter in law will probably be thr poster of a future epic dcum Thanksgiving post.

She is the younger version of the mil that won't feed anyone, cant believe you are still hungry and makes you wait all day for food etc. Her future daughter in law will be hiding food gift baskets in luggage so her kids dont starve .

Oh this is an absurd jump. Yes he’s a growing boy, but if after school he’s already had “2 turkey and cheese sandwiches, an apple with peanut butter, a banana, some chips and guacamole, and a large slice of baked oatmeal.” and THEN for dinner he has two hamburgers with buns plus unlimited sides, this kid is far from starving. I have a teen boy at home and he wouldn’t be demanding extra meat if he’s already had two servings. This is an issue of a bratty kid, not a starved one.

If it isn't a financial impossibility, feed your child. Teenagers are growing and developing at a rapid rate. Not just physically, but emotionally and intellectually. They need food and sleep. Feed your effing kid as much as they need. Why is this so difficult? It's not like the kid wants junk food. The kid wants meat.

Where in this thread are you seeing that he’s not being fed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This OPs future daughter in law will probably be thr poster of a future epic dcum Thanksgiving post.

She is the younger version of the mil that won't feed anyone, cant believe you are still hungry and makes you wait all day for food etc. Her future daughter in law will be hiding food gift baskets in luggage so her kids dont starve .

Oh this is an absurd jump. Yes he’s a growing boy, but if after school he’s already had “2 turkey and cheese sandwiches, an apple with peanut butter, a banana, some chips and guacamole, and a large slice of baked oatmeal.” and THEN for dinner he has two hamburgers with buns plus unlimited sides, this kid is far from starving. I have a teen boy at home and he wouldn’t be demanding extra meat if he’s already had two servings. This is an issue of a bratty kid, not a starved one.

If it isn't a financial impossibility, feed your child. Teenagers are growing and developing at a rapid rate. Not just physically, but emotionally and intellectually. They need food and sleep. Feed your effing kid as much as they need. Why is this so difficult? It's not like the kid wants junk food. The kid wants meat.

Frankly meat, especially beef, is bad for you. Serving a child unlimited red meat is a terrible idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This OPs future daughter in law will probably be thr poster of a future epic dcum Thanksgiving post.

She is the younger version of the mil that won't feed anyone, cant believe you are still hungry and makes you wait all day for food etc. Her future daughter in law will be hiding food gift baskets in luggage so her kids dont starve .

OP here,

This is interesting, because I'm a regular participant in those threads. I grew up in a household where my mother put food on plates, and you could neither leave food unfinished, or ask for seconds. Other than that, the kitchen was closed. The portion size didn't change, and by middle and high school we were all starving. She had a rule of not eating or drinking between meals, including water. You would literally get in trouble if you messed up the kitchen by filling a glass of water and drinking, or took a cup to the bathroom so you could get a drink after you brushed your teeth.

So, I've got some hang ups about underfeeding my kids. It's always been important to me that they can eat their fill, and that the food tastes good.

But this pattern of just choosing one food and wanting unlimited quantities of that food, is pushing my buttons. It's expensive. It isn't healthy. And the accusation that I'm being unfair hurts me, because showing favoritism is another pattern from my family of origin that I try hard to avoid.

[Anonymous]

Op, you’re doing nothing wrong. If he wants more meat, he can get a job and use his own money to buy himself a rotisserie chicken every night. You are clearly offering a huge variety of healthy, filling foods. Having backup foods in the freezer like the burritos, etc, goes to show that you aren’t starving any of your children. I see no evidence of you depriving your children of enough calories to feel satisfied. Don’t let DCUM make you feel insecure, some people enjoy being angry and making others feel worse about themselves because then they can pretend that they aren’t as unhappy as they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you’re doing nothing wrong. If he wants more meat, he can get a job and use his own money to buy himself a rotisserie chicken every night. You are clearly offering a huge variety of healthy, filling foods. Having backup foods in the freezer like the burritos, etc, goes to show that you aren’t starving any of your children. I see no evidence of you depriving your children of enough calories to feel satisfied. Don’t let DCUM make you feel insecure, some people enjoy being angry and making others feel worse about themselves because then they can pretend that they aren’t as unhappy as they are.

I agree with you, though I would probably just buy rotisserie chicken and leave it in the fridge and point to that when he wanted more meat. I also like to do a pot of beans with greens and ham chunks or leftover bacon that I offer. You could make a vegetarian version then just add meat to half of it.When we do something like burgers, we make a bigger patty for the teen boy. That might actually be more satisfying than two regular size burgers.