Is your kid enjoying college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Pp here of a happy sophomore. DS is at a school where Greek life is big, but he thinks the whole process is stupid and so he’s never been interested. A lot of of his friends who have considered rushing either got fed up with it or just kind of put up with it and got through it just to experience Greek life.

That said, he still has lots of friends, goes to football games, play poker a lot, and works out a ton. Also plays a club sport.

I don’t think you have to have a Greek experience at a heavy Greek school, but you will have to get involved in other ways.

I also think freshman year is always the worst.

I went to UVA, and even though I looked back on my experience fondly enough now, it wasn’t really a great fit for me and I really struggled freshman year. It took until sophomore year until I met more good friends, and then by senior year, I had found a groove and I’m still close with a lot of those folks.

How does he do with the ladies on campus?

Just to let you know as someone with kids in a sorority, being in a frat isn't some flex that you think it is. A lot of girls don't want frat bros. Also, there is data that participation in Greek life as a whole is on the decline.

Yeah. What I'm hearing from my DD is that being a frat bro is more likely to be considered a red flag than not.

The data doesn't lie, and most schools publish it. Fraternity men have higher GPAs, higher graduation rates, higher starting salaries, and better dating opportunities than GDIs.

Exactly what a frat bro would say.

Provide links to data please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is loving his first autumn in Colorado and all the beautiful leaves changing color and "leaf peeping"!

My DSIs a freshman at Boulder! He is happy and thriving and dove right in. All A’s and found a good frat fit. It’s been joyful to watch him settle in beautifully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My DC is at an OOS flagship and loving it. I was not ready for a large college, so I didn't know how it would go for DC, but they are adapting so well and I've seen so much growth in the first 2 months.

As far as academics, DC is finding it completely manageable. The heavy AP courseload in HS, plus all the ECS, made DC's time management skills really good and that is paying off. DC is absolutely loving taking classes that are in their major. Most GE type classes are covered by APs, but there are a few mandatory ones and the one DC is taking isn't their favorite, but it's not too hard. I think they were used to a lot more personalized comments on grading, but they are still getting full points.

Making friends has gone well. I think being in an all-freshman dorm is an advantage, even if it isn't the newest or the nicest. I do wonder about next year bc kids are already talking about finding housing/roommates, but rush is in January and sophomores have to live in their house. If rush doesn't turn out to be a good fit, I'm worried DC will have to scramble even though it's actually against the law to require lease signing until Spring (I've totally just given away the school for those who know).

They were a little surprised by the amount of partying, but do not feel pressured to go out any more frequently than they like. It's been easy to make in-state and oos friends. The school spirit is off the charts and so infectious! And, fall could not be more beautiful. Yeah, the dining hall chicken is sus and DC is not getting enough protein, but they are figuring it out.

Wisconsin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is in heaven at UChicago. Loves her classes, friends and the city. Weather does not bother her.

LOL it’s October. See how she likes the weather come Feb.

[Anonymous]

Just a reminder that it can take time for things to come together in college. It’s an adjustment for everyone so take the happy social media posts and the gushing from other parents with a grain of salt. The friend group, activities, classes, etc. don’t always jell first semester. It’s also different depending on the kid, the school and the circumstances. That being said, my ‘24 kid (at small LAC-type place a few hours from home) found a friend group early last year and is branching out more this year. They liked their first year classes, took advantage of a travel course, and are exploring more academically this year. They tried a few activities last year, enjoyed a couple things more than others, and have continued the activities they enjoyed this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could folks simply post schools where their freshman seemed to find their way more quickly? I appreciate that many kids find their place later on, but interested in schools that really lean into the freshman experience to get kids involved early on. Just names, no need for more description so as to stay anonymous!

Rice. The residential college system really helps to build community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HYPSM.

Living the dream!

But not answering the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could folks simply post schools where their freshman seemed to find their way more quickly? I appreciate that many kids find their place later on, but interested in schools that really lean into the freshman experience to get kids involved early on. Just names, no need for more description so as to stay anonymous!

I have twins at W&M who have different dorms / friend groups / majors. Both are really, really enjoying their experience. Older sibling is a senior at Berkeley, and the experience has been "okay", but nothing like W&M.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not really. Overwhelmed by the party scene, thinks classes are easy (after attending a rigorous private but the college doesn’t take APs, so basically retaking the equivalent of AP Calc and AP Chem, which he aced the first time). Too much free time after being constantly busy in high school. A friend group and a job would fix a lot of his problems! I’m worried and even a little sad for him but have to just wait and see.

Did the school not have a math placement test? I'm concerned about this for my HS Jr.

Didn't read all the comments so am not sure this has been addressed--have your kid take the AP tests at another HS so they can place out of at least math, foreign language, and English. Mine from a rigorous DMV HS without APs, got 5's in English (both the lang and the lit ones) and AP Calc BC with very little study (during junior year). Will take foreign lang this year (senior year). Check Churchill or Whitman HS in MD, or Basis McLean in VA (doesn't have to be in your home state--those are just known for offering the tests to outside students for $$).

[Anonymous]

It took my kid a year, but she is now enjoying college as a sophomore. With that said, she knows a bunch of kids who transferred between freshman and sophomore years so it your kid is just miserable, it may be worth considering.

[Anonymous]

For parents of high schoolers with a few years left to go, I would exercise caution when speaking about your own amazing college experience. It was our go to when our oldest complained about HS--"just wait until college, you will love it. Our roommates became our best friends, etc.". Those types of comments set up kids' expectations that they will hit the ground running and make tons of friends right off the bat.

For those with freshmen, kids are less socially savvy than when we were in high school about making friends (maybe tech? maybe post Covid?). Whether the school is large or small, many kids will have trouble making friends--it can take some luck with roommates and effort to keep trying. Encourage clubs (and don't overly stress if they are competitive ones relative to their major)--they just need to find a group to do stuff/hang out with.

[Anonymous]

I think this is so kid dependent. Outgoing kids will most likely do well in any type of school. They will find their people. Shy kids will often depend on the school to create fun activities for them.

My DD is a 2nd year at UVA. She is from NOVA so she had HS friends, plus a lot of other girls she knew through regional extracurriculars. She first hung out with girls on her floor, but later found “her people”. About half are from NOVA. She is very outgoing, and is enjoying her experience so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is in heaven at UChicago. Loves her classes, friends and the city. Weather does not bother her.

Same. Sophomore. Was not phased by the winter although the adjustment to the constant “midterms” took some getting used to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is so kid dependent. Outgoing kids will most likely do well in any type of school. They will find their people. Shy kids will often depend on the school to create fun activities for them.

My DD is a 2nd year at UVA. She is from NOVA so she had HS friends, plus a lot of other girls she knew through regional extracurriculars. She first hung out with girls on her floor, but later found “her people”. About half are from NOVA. She is very outgoing, and is enjoying her experience so far.

I agree this is very kid and situation dependent, and there is no magic school that protects you and them from the big adjustment it is to go to college. It just takes time to find your footing. Don’t expect complete success in freshman year and especially not October of freshman year.

[Anonymous]

Kind of - food sucks, one has evil roommate, classes hard, but it’s last year for one and second for another. This is only temporary. They take respite at home on breaks and dream of days to come.