How to deal with overly materialistic teen?

[Anonymous]

has anyone seen alix earle shes the aspiration as she travels around in her private jet.

https://www.tiktok.com/@hopeidontknowyou/video/7495049432417701150

https://www.tiktok.com/@meelalevine/video/7491746742019312927

https://www.tiktok.com/@alexa_reddy/video/7194563609056316715

https://www.tiktok.com/@iamdoechii_/video/7475166095431961902

https://www.tiktok.com/@palomaidaliasandovall/video/7486944253113945399

https://www.tiktok.com/@camilla/video/7500785234993007918

[Anonymous]

A couple hundred dollars PER MONTH!? Wow. Give her $40 and make her budget. Also, that money comes with some strings, like getting good report cards.

[Anonymous]

You and your husband have a problem… they the two of you created.

Time to discipline and lay some rules down.

[Anonymous]

that ^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:has anyone seen alix earle shes the aspiration as she travels around in her private jet.

https://www.tiktok.com/@hopeidontknowyou/video/7495049432417701150

https://www.tiktok.com/@meelalevine/video/7491746742019312927

https://www.tiktok.com/@alexa_reddy/video/7194563609056316715

https://www.tiktok.com/@iamdoechii_/video/7475166095431961902

https://www.tiktok.com/@palomaidaliasandovall/video/7486944253113945399

https://www.tiktok.com/@camilla/video/7500785234993007918

No.

[Anonymous]

Kids like yours show off to kids like mine, due to which we have fights. Bratty spoilt kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are Americans so obsessed about making materialism into something negative?

Because they are in incredible amounts of debt to have those material objects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are Americans so obsessed about making materialism into something negative?

Cos in teenagers it never ends and they spend a lot of time shopping instead of studying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are Americans so obsessed about making materialism into something negative?

Because it is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids really get hundreds of dollars a month in allowance in your circle?

Wow.

our teens get 250 every 2 weeks. We sat down and did the comparison since inflation and that's what was reasonable

I knew some kids with absurd allowances like this... they were cokeheads. There's no other way to spend $500 a month at that age. But let's say your kids aren't into drugs (doubtful with that much money, constantly replenished, in their impulsive lil pockets) ... what are they buying?

Their own food? So they don't eat with the family. Studies show etc etc.

Their own clothes? So you don't spend that time with them, helping them learn what styles and fabrics and prices are the best buys. Someone needs to tell kids that "cute" garbage polyester isn't worth their money.

Uber rides? So they'll never learn to use public transportation.

And with that much unearned cash, they are definitely not learning how to budget, how to prioritize and delay gratification, etc. Inflation is all well and good, but teens don't actually need money. Their needs are covered. We give them a little to encourage planning and budgeting, and because we want them to make their own fun in age appropriate steps. Not because we want them to live like ballers with no guardrails.

She blows the money on maybe 3-5 items every month, she used to spend more responsibly and bought less pricey things but now she wants more money, and says she does not get enough for what she wants. That's why we suggested she get a job.

[Anonymous]

your kid is a spoiled brat. for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD who is a sophomore has got a monthly allowance of a couple hundred dollars since 8th grade. As she gets older she asks for more and more money that she spends excessively on higher end makeup and jewelry on top of the stuff she already gets that we buy her. We sat her down to tell her that it was time for her first job this summer. She freaked out and started crying, banging the wall, saying she did not want a job and that all her friends got allowances too. DH and I told her we would stop giving her extra money until she found a job and she went ballistic and started screaming at us.

After her outburst she didn't speak to both DH and I for the rest of the day and refused to go to her therapy session and school the next day. It's been a few days and she's still very angry and has become very mean and nasty towards us. She won't hand over her phone so I severely limited her screen time in the meantime and turned her data off. We are UMC so we can afford what she wants but, we just want to help her appreciate the value of money and hard work before it's too late.

It is too late. A pure spoiled brat. She didn’t get this way on her own. Keep limits and boundaries and she can be as made as she wants to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD who is a sophomore has got a monthly allowance of a couple hundred dollars since 8th grade. As she gets older she asks for more and more money that she spends excessively on higher end makeup and jewelry on top of the stuff she already gets that we buy her. We sat her down to tell her that it was time for her first job this summer. She freaked out and started crying, banging the wall, saying she did not want a job and that all her friends got allowances too. DH and I told her we would stop giving her extra money until she found a job and she went ballistic and started screaming at us.

After her outburst she didn't speak to both DH and I for the rest of the day and refused to go to her therapy session and school the next day. It's been a few days and she's still very angry and has become very mean and nasty towards us. She won't hand over her phone so I severely limited her screen time in the meantime and turned her data off. We are UMC so we can afford what she wants but, we just want to help her appreciate the value of money and hard work before it's too late.

It is too late. A pure spoiled brat. She didn’t get this way on her own. Keep limits and boundaries and she can be as made as she wants to me.

*mad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids really get hundreds of dollars a month in allowance in your circle?

Wow.

+1

+2 Phew; was worried that this was “normal” until seeing your responses

If my kid got that, it would be because I expect them to learn to manage their money by paying for everything, i.e. activities, money for lunch.

They would have a small amount left for extras if they managed well.

[Anonymous]

So, both of you stood there and took her tantrum like it was nothing. I would have thought my kid has lost half their brain. I'm gone tell you what's normal:' Mom, I don't need more money. I've been saving it'.
I know several grown people with ASD, ADHD who have shopped themselves into financial ruin. They just can't stop it. They also have zero understanding how to invest money unless their workplace does it for them. Two of them even emptied their 401k to pay rent after money ran out. They also have unemployment problems even with good education.
You being UMC, and being able to support her forever, is not a reason to make it worse for her knowing her ADHD. The need to shop controls her. Her partner will most likely also be a shopper.