What happened to the 'popular kids' from your high school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No idea! All I know is that they were in charge of organizing the reunion. So all I can infer is that they have a lifelong desire to be at the center of group social life, which … good for them?

Were they class officers? That’s usually who organizes the reunions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Expensive private school, class of 1998. The "popular" clique aka the more naturally confident and often hard partying kids, have mostly normalized and are doing well. Some extremely well. The confidence in HS years can be a strong indicator of future success. For a few kids, that confidence did lead to unfortunate experimenting with drugs with not a happy outcome but those are the exceptions, not the rule.

The whole popular kids peaked in HS and became losers afterwards always reeked more of jealous stereotyping than reality.

And, no, I was not one of the "popular" kids, being more bookish, but am pragmatic and realistic.

This. It's cope and so cringe.

The popular kids in my 1991 private Alexandria HS have done extremely well, myslef included. I'm sitting in a 3M house in Great Falls right now and run a very succesful firm. My wife is a VP at a well known defense contractor. We are both still in excellent shape and way more attractive then our peers. We have one kid at an ivy and another entertaing options at the service academies.

I never bullied a single kid. I drew hate because I was smart, good looking, and a stellar athlete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expensive private school, class of 1998. The "popular" clique aka the more naturally confident and often hard partying kids, have mostly normalized and are doing well. Some extremely well. The confidence in HS years can be a strong indicator of future success. For a few kids, that confidence did lead to unfortunate experimenting with drugs with not a happy outcome but those are the exceptions, not the rule.

The whole popular kids peaked in HS and became losers afterwards always reeked more of jealous stereotyping than reality.

And, no, I was not one of the "popular" kids, being more bookish, but am pragmatic and realistic.

This. It's cope and so cringe.

The popular kids in my 1991 private Alexandria HS have done extremely well, myslef included. I'm sitting in a 3M house in Great Falls right now and run a very succesful firm. My wife is a VP at a well known defense contractor. We are both still in excellent shape and way more attractive then our peers. We have one kid at an ivy and another entertaing options at the service academies.

I never bullied a single kid. I drew hate because I was smart, good looking, and a stellar athlete.

I don't think the popular kids even drew hate, at least at my school they didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expensive private school, class of 1998. The "popular" clique aka the more naturally confident and often hard partying kids, have mostly normalized and are doing well. Some extremely well. The confidence in HS years can be a strong indicator of future success. For a few kids, that confidence did lead to unfortunate experimenting with drugs with not a happy outcome but those are the exceptions, not the rule.

The whole popular kids peaked in HS and became losers afterwards always reeked more of jealous stereotyping than reality.

And, no, I was not one of the "popular" kids, being more bookish, but am pragmatic and realistic.

This. It's cope and so cringe.

The popular kids in my 1991 private Alexandria HS have done extremely well, myslef included. I'm sitting in a 3M house in Great Falls right now and run a very succesful firm. My wife is a VP at a well known defense contractor. We are both still in excellent shape and way more attractive then our peers. We have one kid at an ivy and another entertaing options at the service academies.

I never bullied a single kid. I drew hate because I was smart, good looking, and a stellar athlete.

No it's not.
It was never meant to be applied to a fancy smancy private high.

It's a middle America saying.
Where the only safety nets kids have are that they can always stay with mom and dad if they bomb out and work in the family business (think used car salesman not Walmart owner or the Ford family)

[Anonymous]

The popular kids at my HS weren’t necessarily smart, but they all had in common two things: attractive and rich. Once in a while I look someone up and they’ve all done remarkably well. I remember being told by my parents that if I studied hard and kept my head down, that would matter more than having the right clothes or being popular. My parents were very naive about how social capital works!

[Anonymous]

They all became very successful, unsurprisingly—
Attorneys
Global marketing
Media
A few own insurance, PR, finance & accounting companies
One is a local police chief

[Anonymous]

It seems like the popular kids did fine. Especially the girls. They weren’t mean bullies.

There was a girl who bullied me from elementary through middle school. It became racial so I got my parents involved. I looked her up online a few years ago and she is an artist in NY. In her bio, she described her tough/abusive upbringing and drug problems. There was also a picture of her son who was clearly bi-racial. Sometimes we don’t know what people are going through…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 38. The popular kids at my high school weren't mean or bullies. I'm sure some of them were but not to any one that I knew. At least by the time we were in high school. The mean kids were a different group. For context I grew up in a wealthy suburb of Boston.

I don't know about all of them but from what I know, they are all where anyone else is at this stage of life. Some are incredibly successful. Some are happily married with families. Some are divorced. Some haven't had as much success. I can say that none of them "peaked in high school" or had their lives be a total failure or something like that.

+1 same, but different wealthy suburb/city. Most popular male and female are now extremely successful surgeons (chairs of surgery depts.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expensive private school, class of 1998. The "popular" clique aka the more naturally confident and often hard partying kids, have mostly normalized and are doing well. Some extremely well. The confidence in HS years can be a strong indicator of future success. For a few kids, that confidence did lead to unfortunate experimenting with drugs with not a happy outcome but those are the exceptions, not the rule.

The whole popular kids peaked in HS and became losers afterwards always reeked more of jealous stereotyping than reality.

And, no, I was not one of the "popular" kids, being more bookish, but am pragmatic and realistic.

This. It's cope and so cringe.

The popular kids in my 1991 private Alexandria HS have done extremely well, myslef included. I'm sitting in a 3M house in Great Falls right now and run a very succesful firm. My wife is a VP at a well known defense contractor. We are both still in excellent shape and way more attractive then our peers. We have one kid at an ivy and another entertaing options at the service academies.

I never bullied a single kid. I drew hate because I was smart, good looking, and a stellar athlete.

No it's not.
It was never meant to be applied to a fancy smancy private high.

It's a middle America saying.
Where the only safety nets kids have are that they can always stay with mom and dad if they bomb out and work in the family business (think used car salesman not Walmart owner or the Ford family)

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The popular kids at my HS weren’t necessarily smart, but they all had in common two things: attractive and rich. Once in a while I look someone up and they’ve all done remarkably well. I remember being told by my parents that if I studied hard and kept my head down, that would matter more than having the right clothes or being popular. My parents were very naive about how social capital works![/quote]

Yeah -- that's the biggest fallacy out there. It's always been who you know, and always will be. And looks play a part in that. Merit only gets you so far.

[Anonymous]

One started a successful entertainment technology company. Tracks with being smart, outgoing, and creative. (I am an accountant, which tracks with being smart but neither outgoing nor creative.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My high school was too big to have a single group of popular kids. I think most people are just out there living life?

This. And i didn't even go to a big high school. Maybe 200 kids per grade. There were the student council preppy kids. And the band/drama kids. And the stoner kids. And the club kids. And the artsy indie kids. And then a lot of kids who were just regular kids. And there were kids into sports and academics sprinkled all through those groups. The groups all kind of turned their noses up at the other groups, but in the big picture we got along okay. When I got to university, the handful of kids from my HS all stayed in touch and happily socialized when we crossed paths, even though we never socialized in HS and eye rolled at each other's groups back then.

This concept of good looking athletes and hot girls being the popular kids is very foreign to my experience. Grew up in canada in a wealthy suburb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The popular kids at my HS weren’t necessarily smart, but they all had in common two things: attractive and rich. Once in a while I look someone up and they’ve all done remarkably well. I remember being told by my parents that if I studied hard and kept my head down, that would matter more than having the right clothes or being popular. My parents were very naive about how social capital works!

Yeah -- that's the biggest fallacy out there. It's always been who you know, and always will be. And looks play a part in that. Merit only gets you so far.

I generally agree with you, but grooming plays a part(for men, height too), not natural looks(unless you’re stunningly gorgeous, but very few people are). Most people labeled as “good looking”(rich kids included) are average looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My high school was too big to have a single group of popular kids. I think most people are just out there living life?

This. And i didn't even go to a big high school. Maybe 200 kids per grade. There were the student council preppy kids. And the band/drama kids. And the stoner kids. And the club kids. And the artsy indie kids. And then a lot of kids who were just regular kids. And there were kids into sports and academics sprinkled all through those groups. The groups all kind of turned their noses up at the other groups, but in the big picture we got along okay. When I got to university, the handful of kids from my HS all stayed in touch and happily socialized when we crossed paths, even though we never socialized in HS and eye rolled at each other's groups back then.

This concept of good looking athletes and hot girls being the popular kids is very foreign to my experience. Grew up in canada in a wealthy suburb.

Well, that’s because we are talking about how social capital in the U.S. is created and nurtured. It starts with how much smaller Canada is, how differently its economy works, its different socioeconomic factors, and its VERY different system of funding public schools. All of that works to create what you experienced in HS.

My DH is from Canada and I can tell you that his experience compared to what we experienced in elementary through HS in the U.S. is very very different, even though it feels like it is and should be the same. And it’s no surprise that there are things about American social dynamics that go over his head even now, and why he has been far more successful in very international companies vs more American firms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are the popular kids from your school days up to now?

OP where did you go to high school? Also, if you went back to your old high school now, would your narrative still apply?

Where I went to HS (W school in the 90s), the narrative doesn't apply.