Daughter & Son expect carryout when we go out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were working all day and DH wasn’t and then he decided to get dinner out I would of course be very pleased and touched if he picked up something for me as well and brought it home. It’s just kind of like those nice things people and families do for right? Obviously a 17-year-old can make her own food ((one would assume) but you did something nice for yours yourselves and she’s still a minor and part of the family (and was working!)) So I don’t really see how it’s better parenting not to bring her Home something to eat

But if he went to a place you hate, which is what happened in the OP, what then? Maybe he went there because he normally can’t because when you both go out you pick a place you both like. And this is one meal, it doesn’t mean OP never does anything ever for her kids. Who sound pretty spoiled by the way.

Communicate. Be caring to the people you live with.

Sounds like a stretch for some here.

[Anonymous]

I clearly grew up too poor to answer this one with the clear head.

They sound spoiled to me. She needs to learn to get ok with leftovers and preparing snacks for herself minimum. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t always bring food for my kids when we go out. But honestly if my kid had just worked a double shift I definitely would have said yes. It’s just the nice thing to do.

This, take out or make sure there was something at home for her to eat for dinner.
And, I would do the same thing for a partner who had just worked a double shift, like if I had been out to dinner with a girlfriend, I would think about him coming home and whether he might like carry out or if at least there was something at home for him to eat.

And I would hope he would do the same for me. As others have said, it’s that she wants to feel taken care of which we all need and want to some degree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were working all day and DH wasn’t and then he decided to get dinner out I would of course be very pleased and touched if he picked up something for me as well and brought it home. It’s just kind of like those nice things people and families do for right? Obviously a 17-year-old can make her own food ((one would assume) but you did something nice for yours yourselves and she’s still a minor and part of the family (and was working!)) So I don’t really see how it’s better parenting not to bring her Home something to eat

But if he went to a place you hate, which is what happened in the OP, what then? Maybe he went there because he normally can’t because when you both go out you pick a place you both like. And this is one meal, it doesn’t mean OP never does anything ever for her kids. Who sound pretty spoiled by the way.

Communicate. Be caring to the people you live with.

Sounds like a stretch for some here.

I’m not a martyr for a 17 yr old picky eater. Sometimes I’d like to eat what I want as an adult after catering to a child for 17 years. She can make a sandwich or leftovers once in awhile.

[Anonymous]

We have never gone out to eat at a restaurant and brought food home for our kids. We are going out tonight and my kids are fending for themselves. We have plenty in our fridge and freezer. They are 14 and 16.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I clearly grew up too poor to answer this one with the clear head.

They sound spoiled to me. She needs to learn to get ok with leftovers and preparing snacks for herself minimum. Wow.

Same!! Growing up poor gives me great perspective on this generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD was probably hangry.

If she had just worked a double, then presumably has her own money and could have picked something up for herself on the way home!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD was probably hangry.

If she had just worked a double, then presumably has her own money and could have picked something up for herself on the way home!

Above for 17. For 24, hard NO. Without more context, sounds like they think you are the help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were working all day and DH wasn’t and then he decided to get dinner out I would of course be very pleased and touched if he picked up something for me as well and brought it home. It’s just kind of like those nice things people and families do for right? Obviously a 17-year-old can make her own food ((one would assume) but you did something nice for yours yourselves and she’s still a minor and part of the family (and was working!)) So I don’t really see how it’s better parenting not to bring her Home something to eat

But if he went to a place you hate, which is what happened in the OP, what then? Maybe he went there because he normally can’t because when you both go out you pick a place you both like. And this is one meal, it doesn’t mean OP never does anything ever for her kids. Who sound pretty spoiled by the way.

Communicate. Be caring to the people you live with.

Sounds like a stretch for some here.

I’m not a martyr for a 17 yr old picky eater. Sometimes I’d like to eat what I want as an adult after catering to a child for 17 years. She can make a sandwich or leftovers once in awhile.

Martyr. Lol, seriously? You can actually train your kid to fend for themselves in a kind way. No martyrdom necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I clearly grew up too poor to answer this one with the clear head.

They sound spoiled to me. She needs to learn to get ok with leftovers and preparing snacks for herself minimum. Wow.

Same!! Growing up poor gives me great perspective on this generation.

I walked both ways in the snow without shoes! How dare my children expect shoes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were working all day and DH wasn’t and then he decided to get dinner out I would of course be very pleased and touched if he picked up something for me as well and brought it home. It’s just kind of like those nice things people and families do for right? Obviously a 17-year-old can make her own food ((one would assume) but you did something nice for yours yourselves and she’s still a minor and part of the family (and was working!)) So I don’t really see how it’s better parenting not to bring her Home something to eat

But if he went to a place you hate, which is what happened in the OP, what then? Maybe he went there because he normally can’t because when you both go out you pick a place you both like. And this is one meal, it doesn’t mean OP never does anything ever for her kids. Who sound pretty spoiled by the way.

Communicate. Be caring to the people you live with.

Sounds like a stretch for some here.

I’m not a martyr for a 17 yr old picky eater. Sometimes I’d like to eat what I want as an adult after catering to a child for 17 years. She can make a sandwich or leftovers once in awhile.

Martyr. Lol, seriously? You can actually train your kid to fend for themselves in a kind way. No martyrdom necessary.

Accusing someone of not caring for their family or explaining how nice families work is a bit much for declining to bring home take out one night for a kid who doesn’t like it anyway.

[Anonymous]

I have frozen meals and frozen pizza etc readily available for times like this - I’m not going to order them takeout but they can heat something up from the freezer that’s kinda fun.

[Anonymous]

Well, some people think I am an ah. Why does that feel bad coming from someone I don't know.
I will come away with continue to provide much food at home and have a little talk about learning to heat a frozen meal up or cook something little. We will continue to bring her food if we feel like we can. We will let her know ahead of time if she needs to make other plans.
Once again, I was gonna offer to bring her something else. But her tone in her voice lit a light bulb in my head.
She is a very hard worker, gradutating with an associates in May at 17. We drive her back and forth 4 days a week, 2 hours of our work day. We are driving her right now to a concert with her bf an hour away. She just got off work and is in a hurry to go because she got off late. I texted her asked her what she wanted for food, gave her some options, she wants fast food.
I most of all want to say thank you and kudos to the ones who were kind, and very good suggestions about teaching some basic cooking skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my kids were working or doing their sport or something while we were out, I would definitely get them food.

+1. It might be leftovers, quick frozen meals, or something from the restaurant. But I think it’s mean to expect a kid getting home late from working to cook a meal late at night in order to get dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kids were working or doing their sport or something while we were out, I would definitely get them food.

+1. It might be leftovers, quick frozen meals, or something from the restaurant. But I think it’s mean to expect a kid getting home late from working to cook a meal late at night in order to get dinner.

Did OP say she couldn’t open the microwave and reheat leftovers for the daughter? No cooking necessary.