Sent home from summer camp

[Anonymous]

The camp nurse here determined that she was not fully qualified to support your daughter. She called EMS presumably because she was worried she could not adequately help your daughter. She didn’t call EMS for shits and giggles. So for you to subsequently complain that the camp nurse was there and ergo there should have been supports for your daughter doesn’t make sense.

This is why they asked for a medical evaluation. The problem is that they said she could return then didn’t even bother to read the evaluation results. It is possible that they said she could return, assuming that they didn’t think that we could get a full evaluation, from a doctor and the counselor done, before camp ended. We got everything done, in one day, so they made a decision without reviewing any of the medical information. She won’t be returning next year. She is good at basketball and can do a daytime basketball camp.

[Anonymous]

I feel like you need to cut your losses here. Life isn’t always fair and you’re not always going to get your moneys worth.

In the meanwhile, your dd needs another way to cope with stress before she can go back next summer. It’s just going to be harder as she gets older.

Also, teach her to communicate with counselors and adults with respect so her needs are met appropriately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The camp nurse here determined that she was not fully qualified to support your daughter. She called EMS presumably because she was worried she could not adequately help your daughter. She didn’t call EMS for shits and giggles. So for you to subsequently complain that the camp nurse was there and ergo there should have been supports for your daughter doesn’t make sense.

This is why they asked for a medical evaluation. The problem is that they said she could return then didn’t even bother to read the evaluation results. It is possible that they said she could return, assuming that they didn’t think that we could get a full evaluation, from a doctor and the counselor done, before camp ended. We got everything done, in one day, so they made a decision without reviewing any of the medical information. She won’t be returning next year. She is good at basketball and can do a daytime basketball camp.

Op you are correct with this limited point. At the time you picked her up, they shouldn’t have told you she could come back. Assuming they did that without qualification, and then rescinded that promise, that’s your valid complaint with the camp. That they shouldn’t have told you she could come back, and then rescind the offer.

But you don’t have a complaint that the camp should have let your daughter come back to camp. The camp determined that they did not have the resources to help her, and that is their right to make that determination. You need to drop that complaint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The frequent check-ins was a suggestion not a requirement. It is something teachers might do as a simple accommodation. They made the decision without reading any of the paperwork so it wasn’t a factor. It was a medical clearance with suggestions from a counselor, not requirements. Counselors make suggestions as part of their jobs.

Frequent check ins - as in like a 504 accommodation for a kid with ADHD, is WAY different than frequent check in for mental health, like checking to see if someone has cut themselves. It's not the same at all.

She didnt cut herself. She scratched herself with her arm. The counselor didn’t suggest check ins to check her arms. He suggested a check in that could be her giving a thumbs up or down. It doesn’t require extra staff or extra training. It is like a “Are you having a good day or not?” kind of check in.




kind of check in.

So the camp felt a daily mental health check in which was medically recommended by YOUR mental health counselor was something their staff could not handle but you don’t think it should have been?

If that’s the case op, I think they are right. And I think you are so caught up in defending your daughter’s rights that you are losing sight of what’s best for her. Everything you are modeling for her right now reinforces the behaviors that will get her excluded her from other activities (and social situations) as well. You can accommodate her struggles but still hold her accountable for her reactions. The staff complained that her sarcasm interfered with their ability to gauge her mental health. It’s not surprising they didn’t want to risk it happening again. Talk to your daughter. Stop trying to protect her from the consequences of her own behavior.

They didn’t even read any of the results. They didn’t know about the suggestion to do daily check-ins. They could have met with us and gone over the results but they made the decision to completely disregard or ignore (not read) the medical information. If they met with us and then said that they couldn’t do daily check-ins that would have been a different story.

How so? Your kid still wouldn't be allowed back, you still would have made the drive, you'd still be complaining about not being allowed back. You need to understand that this summer camp isn't equipped to handle children self harming, and they do NOT want to be liable if anything worse than "scratches" happen.

[Anonymous]

How so? Your kid still wouldn't be allowed back, you still would have made the drive, you'd still be complaining about not being allowed back. You need to understand that this summer camp isn't equipped to handle children self harming, and they do NOT want to be liable if anything worse than "scratches" happen.

It would be different because they would be showing that they were willing to follow through with their own protocol by reading the medical review. An appreciation for doing what someone was asked to do can go a long way even if the result doesn’t change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The frequent check-ins was a suggestion not a requirement. It is something teachers might do as a simple accommodation. They made the decision without reading any of the paperwork so it wasn’t a factor. It was a medical clearance with suggestions from a counselor, not requirements. Counselors make suggestions as part of their jobs.

Frequent check ins - as in like a 504 accommodation for a kid with ADHD, is WAY different than frequent check in for mental health, like checking to see if someone has cut themselves. It's not the same at all.

She didnt cut herself. She scratched herself with her arm. The counselor didn’t suggest check ins to check her arms. He suggested a check in that could be her giving a thumbs up or down. It doesn’t require extra staff or extra training. It is like a “Are you having a good day or not?” kind of check in.




kind of check in.

So the camp felt a daily mental health check in which was medically recommended by YOUR mental health counselor was something their staff could not handle but you don’t think it should have been?

If that’s the case op, I think they are right. And I think you are so caught up in defending your daughter’s rights that you are losing sight of what’s best for her. Everything you are modeling for her right now reinforces the behaviors that will get her excluded her from other activities (and social situations) as well. You can accommodate her struggles but still hold her accountable for her reactions. The staff complained that her sarcasm interfered with their ability to gauge her mental health. It’s not surprising they didn’t want to risk it happening again. Talk to your daughter. Stop trying to protect her from the consequences of her own behavior.

They didn’t even read any of the results. They didn’t know about the suggestion to do daily check-ins. They could have met with us and gone over the results but they made the decision to completely disregard or ignore (not read) the medical information. If they met with us and then said that they couldn’t do daily check-ins that would have been a different story.

Ok either: your kid has mental health issues and shouldn't be at camp.
OR
Your kid doesn't have serious mental health struggles and their counselors are idiots and can't tell what a kid with actual mental health issues looks like.

Either way seems like it's just time to move on.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the posters that your email is too long and emotional if your goal is to get a partial refund. If you approach this combatively and blaming them, they won't want to give you money. Try being rational and polite.

If your goal is to have a conversation about what happened and why, then that could be a separate email from a financial one. Are you hoping your daughter will go back to this camp in the future, or are you prepared to burn bridges? If you want the option of going back, make sure to approach emails cautiously.

[Anonymous]

The kid wasn’t “medically cleared” if the clearance came with caveats. Such as frequent check ins. You mentioned that was “one” of the suggestions. What were the others? They may seem reasonable to you but unreasonable to the camp. The nurse isn’t a psychologist. She is mainly there to put band aids on, check temperatures, administer prescribed medication, etc. Your kid has needs beyond her expertise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kid wasn’t “medically cleared” if the clearance came with caveats. Such as frequent check ins. You mentioned that was “one” of the suggestions. What were the others? They may seem reasonable to you but unreasonable to the camp. The nurse isn’t a psychologist. She is mainly there to put band aids on, check temperatures, administer prescribed medication, etc. Your kid has needs beyond her expertise.

Again, they didn’t even read it. They did not know about any caveats. The check-in suggestion was the only one that pertained to camp. They made the assumption that she needed one-on-one staff which wasn’t true. They would have known this if they had taken 5 minutes to read the paperwork which took several hours for us to get completed. It is a matter of not following through with their own protocol. Why ask for something this time consuming when you aren’t willing to take 5 minutes to read it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid wasn’t “medically cleared” if the clearance came with caveats. Such as frequent check ins. You mentioned that was “one” of the suggestions. What were the others? They may seem reasonable to you but unreasonable to the camp. The nurse isn’t a psychologist. She is mainly there to put band aids on, check temperatures, administer prescribed medication, etc. Your kid has needs beyond her expertise.

Again, they didn’t even read it. They did not know about any caveats. The check-in suggestion was the only one that pertained to camp. They made the assumption that she needed one-on-one staff which wasn’t true. They would have known this if they had taken 5 minutes to read the paperwork which took several hours for us to get completed. It is a matter of not following through with their own protocol. Why ask for something this time consuming when you aren’t willing to take 5 minutes to read it?

Because they thought you wouldn't do it.

They don't want to have her at the camp, that's the bottom line here. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It wasn’t cutting. She was scratching herself with her other arm. It was very superficial, hardly noticeable. Cat scratches look much worse.

This is absurd OP the camp is corrrect here.

You are the problem.

It’s camp it’s not school big difference this is not a hill to die on.
Nor is it productive for your child.

You are not admitting your child needs more help .

Why are you disbelieving the OP? I can totally believe the scenario laid out here.

Not PP but OP is completely downplaying the situation. Being cleared with the recommendation of frequent check ins isn’t being cleared. It’s being cleared with accommodations that the camp was not prepared to handle - and that’s no surprise after a self harm incident.

I went through this with school, which is staffed with mostly professionals who are long out of HS and have a lot of life experience. When my child self harmed, medical clearance was required. When the medical clearance was with caveats, my child was not readmitted. A new placement was found. Camp is staffed with HS kids. They are not competent to handle this sort of evaluation and handling a situation where a check in results in a thumbs down.

But here it seems there was no self-harm at all. Many kids with autism have physical tics. My son pinches his skin a lot. I can believe OP when she explains that the scratches were not self-harm, but tics.

If it was nothing, there would not have been a recommendation for frequent check ins. Self harm or not, this was not a medical clearance. No camp is going to ignore a recommendation where they believe they witnesses self harm.

Scratching and skin picking are common stims. I would believe OP over a 20-something camp counselor.

Yes. I do this, and it's OCD-related. Never crossed my mind someone might think I'm self-harming!

Of course they are self-harm. People with skin picking can end up with infections and other skin conditions. When someone’s anxiety leads them to self soothe in ways that harm their body, that’s textbook self harm.

What do people who are saying they this isn’t self harm think self harm is?

I broke my nose playing soccer. Is soccer self-harm?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The frequent check-ins was a suggestion not a requirement. It is something teachers might do as a simple accommodation. They made the decision without reading any of the paperwork so it wasn’t a factor. It was a medical clearance with suggestions from a counselor, not requirements. Counselors make suggestions as part of their jobs.

Frequent check ins - as in like a 504 accommodation for a kid with ADHD, is WAY different than frequent check in for mental health, like checking to see if someone has cut themselves. It's not the same at all.

She didnt cut herself. She scratched herself with her arm. The counselor didn’t suggest check ins to check her arms. He suggested a check in that could be her giving a thumbs up or down. It doesn’t require extra staff or extra training. It is like a “Are you having a good day or not?” kind of check in.




kind of check in.

So the camp felt a daily mental health check in which was medically recommended by YOUR mental health counselor was something their staff could not handle but you don’t think it should have been?

If that’s the case op, I think they are right. And I think you are so caught up in defending your daughter’s rights that you are losing sight of what’s best for her. Everything you are modeling for her right now reinforces the behaviors that will get her excluded her from other activities (and social situations) as well. You can accommodate her struggles but still hold her accountable for her reactions. The staff complained that her sarcasm interfered with their ability to gauge her mental health. It’s not surprising they didn’t want to risk it happening again. Talk to your daughter. Stop trying to protect her from the consequences of her own behavior.

They didn’t even read any of the results. They didn’t know about the suggestion to do daily check-ins. They could have met with us and gone over the results but they made the decision to completely disregard or ignore (not read) the medical information. If they met with us and then said that they couldn’t do daily check-ins that would have been a different story.

Ok either: your kid has mental health issues and shouldn't be at camp.
OR
Your kid doesn't have serious mental health struggles and their counselors are idiots and can't tell what a kid with actual mental health issues looks like.

Either way seems like it's just time to move on.

This, but she was regularly engaging in self harm and making comments. This kid needs to be home getting mental health treatment not at a camp not equipt to handle those issues.

[Anonymous]

Camp paid for 1 EMS.

You paid for one week of camp and got a week+.

Let it drop.

Focus on helping your daughter, not drawing blood from a stone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It wasn’t cutting. She was scratching herself with her other arm. It was very superficial, hardly noticeable. Cat scratches look much worse.

This is absurd OP the camp is corrrect here.

You are the problem.

It’s camp it’s not school big difference this is not a hill to die on.
Nor is it productive for your child.

You are not admitting your child needs more help .

Why are you disbelieving the OP? I can totally believe the scenario laid out here.

Not PP but OP is completely downplaying the situation. Being cleared with the recommendation of frequent check ins isn’t being cleared. It’s being cleared with accommodations that the camp was not prepared to handle - and that’s no surprise after a self harm incident.

I went through this with school, which is staffed with mostly professionals who are long out of HS and have a lot of life experience. When my child self harmed, medical clearance was required. When the medical clearance was with caveats, my child was not readmitted. A new placement was found. Camp is staffed with HS kids. They are not competent to handle this sort of evaluation and handling a situation where a check in results in a thumbs down.

But here it seems there was no self-harm at all. Many kids with autism have physical tics. My son pinches his skin a lot. I can believe OP when she explains that the scratches were not self-harm, but tics.

If it was nothing, there would not have been a recommendation for frequent check ins. Self harm or not, this was not a medical clearance. No camp is going to ignore a recommendation where they believe they witnesses self harm.

Scratching and skin picking are common stims. I would believe OP over a 20-something camp counselor.

Yes. I do this, and it's OCD-related. Never crossed my mind someone might think I'm self-harming!

Of course they are self-harm. People with skin picking can end up with infections and other skin conditions. When someone’s anxiety leads them to self soothe in ways that harm their body, that’s textbook self harm.

What do people who are saying they this isn’t self harm think self harm is?

I broke my nose playing soccer. Is soccer self-harm?

Yes, if you broke your own nose on purpose.

[Anonymous]

Op it’s a little concerning how much in denial you are about your daughter. It’s like you desperately need to prove she’s someone she’s not. Why would you put her back in a situation where she’s hurting herself because there’s so many people around and she’s “used to more down time?” If I got that call I would race to pick up my kid and bring her home. The fact that you are treating it like a failure and mistake and pushed so hard to bring her back immediately is likely going to influence your daughter to not seek help the next time.