Fell in love with an older man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would date for now but if you want a life partner or to get married then you should consider what it will mean to your own health. I'm 46 married to a 63 year old, we have been married for 10 years, I had kids from a prior marriage and he had none and it was a good match at first, he had a lot of energy and was in good health, and I made him feel younger, but the problem was that he always me feel older. You will live and assimilate to his age. The same way that he feels younger with you, you will feel older with him. You don't want that, enjoy being 40s, don't fast forward when you don't have to.

If knowing what you know now, would you make the same choice?

[Anonymous]

I married a 52 yo guy when I was 39. It worked for us. We have 2 healthy kids. I’m now 63 and he’s 76. We are both in great shape and happy. It’s all a crap shoot.

[Anonymous]

OP keep us updated 😇

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is 13 years older than I am. We were 32 and 45 when we met (at work). We've been together 20 years. I never give the age difference much of a thought and I don't think he does either. But he is very healthy -- athletic, fit, etc. Zero health issues now.

You know who did give the age difference a thought? The DWs of his friends. F them, though. Lol. I don't care.

Except this guy is already decrepit, not athletic, fit, etc. Not really the same comparison.

PP.

Yes, that's fair. It's a real concern and OP should treat it as such. My DH is about as fit as they come. I have trouble keeping up with him, and always have. If we do something like hike in SNP he is slowing down for me, not vice versa.

[Anonymous]

I’m DH with 9 yr diff with DW. When she was mid 20s and me early 30s she would slow down for me on hikes and stuff like that.

Now both of us in 40s, she has been physically more active (gym, dance etc) and me more or less a couch potato. but my health is much much better than hers and any joint, physical, family, couple activities including things like pickleball, volleyball, hiking, tennis, sex she can’t last more than 20-30min and gets tired, out of breath, exhausted etc. She is 5’6 and barely 125lbs toned and fit looking but just with a ton of medical issues.

I carry 20lbs more than I should but am perfectly fine physically speaking. My grandparents all lived 100+ my lazy ass dad is 85 and good for another 20.

It’s a crapshoot. It’s also genetics and it’s a bit of luck. I vote go for love live in the present and stop worrying (too much) about what ifs. Enjoy what is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m DH with 9 yr diff with DW. When she was mid 20s and me early 30s she would slow down for me on hikes and stuff like that.

Now both of us in 40s, she has been physically more active (gym, dance etc) and me more or less a couch potato. but my health is much much better than hers and any joint, physical, family, couple activities including things like pickleball, volleyball, hiking, tennis, sex she can’t last more than 20-30min and gets tired, out of breath, exhausted etc. She is 5’6 and barely 125lbs toned and fit looking but just with a ton of medical issues.

I carry 20lbs more than I should but am perfectly fine physically speaking. My grandparents all lived 100+ my lazy ass dad is 85 and good for another 20.

It’s a crapshoot. It’s also genetics and it’s a bit of luck. I vote go for love live in the present and stop worrying (too much) about what ifs. Enjoy what is

Ummmm…. No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life can be brutally unpredictable no matter what. I say take love and a cherishing partner whenever you can find it.

+1

It often comes down to how you’re treated. You can marry someone your age who becomes cold and inconsiderate and selfish. I’d take someone 10-15 years older who is kind and thoughtful and patient. Yes, the age difference and with that, differing life stages come into play. If someone is right for you and they’re willing to compromise and negotiate, some or most of that can be overcome. More than 15-20 years apart with one partner under 50, I don’t know.

[Anonymous]

I don't exercise at all and I should. I noticed that men who workout regularly particularly those who still lift weight into their 50s age really well and look very energetic. And men have that little blue pill to keep them going if needed. Of course the same can be said about active women. So age gap unless we are talking about 15+ is not a big deal for people 35+ as long as they are physically active. Health is complicated and hard to predict but of course good diet and exercise gives you the best chance at good health at least in the early years of old age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't exercise at all and I should. I noticed that men who workout regularly particularly those who still lift weight into their 50s age really well and look very energetic. And men have that little blue pill to keep them going if needed. Of course the same can be said about active women. So age gap unless we are talking about 15+ is not a big deal for people 35+ as long as they are physically active. Health is complicated and hard to predict but of course good diet and exercise gives you the best chance at good health at least in the early years of old age.

Captain obvious