Things you wish you knew…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parents school are the biggest indicator of who gets in where. For the most part kids are following in their parents footsteps, if you went to an Ivy your kid will end up at the equivalent school or slightly lower. In our community, I haven’t see a senior end up at a school ranked higher than their parent’s alma mater .

We both went to Ivies and our kids cannot go: I got full financial aid and dh is still paying his $$$$ loans off. Our kids are smart and do well but 1. Not smart enough to compete with today's standards 2. At our income bracket it would be foolish to spend 800k + for college instead of saving more for retirement and helping dcs in adulthood. I can't imagine we are the only people like this out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parents school are the biggest indicator of who gets in where. For the most part kids are following in their parents footsteps, if you went to an Ivy your kid will end up at the equivalent school or slightly lower. In our community, I haven’t see a senior end up at a school ranked higher than their parent’s alma mater .

Hmm. Both my kids at Ivy with multiple top admits. I went to small nonselective LAC and lower tier state school, DH to midtier UK state university.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only one thing would have been nice to know. — so that DS (class of 22) could have been spared the time he took to write essays/prepare apps for state schools that he would never get into: you need a blockbuster, AP-enhanced, probably grade-inflated HS GPA to gain admission OOS to the better UCs, Georgia, Florida, Texas and maybe a few others.

[Kid had a 3.87 UW from big3 (1570 submitted) and that wasn’t enough. The above named schools can’t / won’t differentiate and the 3.87 looks like the candidate isn’t even trying when compared to 4.7s with 25 APs from a public. ]

Michigan knows his HS, so accepts strong kids with high-for-that-HS gpas.

Agree with this but worth adding that VA publics (we are in MD), and most east coast privates very familiar with our academically rigorous private’s grading.

PP here. I don’t disagree but I cited UCs specifically for a reason. It’s pointless to apply coming out of NCS or Sidwell with a > 3.8 although you’re at the top of your class.

Save your effort, time, and $85.

DS has first-hand experience (deferrals) with a couple of the others I mentioned. He attends a T15 private school, which I mentioned, just as a point of reference. It’s national ranking is higher than all but one of the OOS flagship schools that rejected or deferred him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents school are the biggest indicator of who gets in where. For the most part kids are following in their parents footsteps, if you went to an Ivy your kid will end up at the equivalent school or slightly lower. In our community, I haven’t see a senior end up at a school ranked higher than their parent’s alma mater .

This is fascinating….

And super hyper local anecdotal. We don't see that at all: the opposite, if any trend at all.

Same.

You’re on a DC forum. Do you live in DC or close in?

[Anonymous]

1. Give your student as much autonomy and voice in the process as possible, even when it pains you and even when you think you know better. They will be much more invested in the process if they feel heard and valued.

2. Have a standing 20-minute check-in once a week. Don't pounce on them at random times because you're suddenly anxious about a piece of the puzzle. If you have a time-sensitive worry, agree on a follow-up meeting time.

3. Work with your student to set up a gmail account just for college correspondence and share the password with your spouse. Use that address for college fairs, tour bookings, SAT/ACT scheduling, Q&A with admissions, etc. Ensure student is checking it regularly, reading emails from desired colleges, etc.

4. Google Sheets will be your best friend. Track, centralize, and share EVERYTHING.

5. Freshman college year FAFSA/CSS relies on the tax return covering the junior high school year. If you think you might be on the bubble regarding financial (not merit) aid, explore changing your withholdings/deductions/etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents school are the biggest indicator of who gets in where. For the most part kids are following in their parents footsteps, if you went to an Ivy your kid will end up at the equivalent school or slightly lower. In our community, I haven’t see a senior end up at a school ranked higher than their parent’s alma mater .

We both went to Ivies and our kids cannot go: I got full financial aid and dh is still paying his $$$$ loans off. Our kids are smart and do well but 1. Not smart enough to compete with today's standards 2. At our income bracket it would be foolish to spend 800k + for college instead of saving more for retirement and helping dcs in adulthood. I can't imagine we are the only people like this out there.

So this is why the algorithm data is actually important.

It takes your titles, your employers, your home address, and where you went to school. It shoots out a projected net worth. That information is very important to some of the schools.

And it’s how they decide who’s linkedin to stalk.

[Anonymous]

I went to Princeton last century and I'm sure I thought my education was pretty special - at the time. But by the time I was in my late 20s, it was clear that it wasn't special, and that there were plenty of people who came out of MI and Indiana and UCLA who were every bit as smart, educated, and had plenty of connections. Plus had soft skills and sales skills I probably lacked.

So I knew this, but the soup we were living in put so much value on "prestige" schools it was very hard to push past it.

I think I wish I would have sent my kids to those derided "pay to play" summer things freshman and sophomore years. Find out Syracuse and UCLA are really pretty nice fun of bright kids, and compare favorable to Georgetown etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Princeton last century and I'm sure I thought my education was pretty special - at the time. But by the time I was in my late 20s, it was clear that it wasn't special, and that there were plenty of people who came out of MI and Indiana and UCLA who were every bit as smart, educated, and had plenty of connections. Plus had soft skills and sales skills I probably lacked.

So I knew this, but the soup we were living in put so much value on "prestige" schools it was very hard to push past it.

I think I wish I would have sent my kids to those derided "pay to play" summer things freshman and sophomore years. Find out Syracuse and UCLA are really pretty nice fun of bright kids, and compare favorable to Georgetown etc

+1 on the derided pay to play programs. My kid went to one and it was helpful for him to get a better understanding of the college experience and ideas about a possible major.

[Anonymous]

Research how majors are admitted at each school. An easy admit for undecided can be an almost impossible CS or business admit (for example- Penn State had around 5% admit for business this year)!

We were very ignorant about the small details like these and wish we had researched them before applying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents school are the biggest indicator of who gets in where. For the most part kids are following in their parents footsteps, if you went to an Ivy your kid will end up at the equivalent school or slightly lower. In our community, I haven’t see a senior end up at a school ranked higher than their parent’s alma mater .

You live in a very small bubble. This is not true for the majority of people.

Agree. Many Ivy alum really pissed in our hood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be ok no matter where your kid ends up. It will be fine.

This is the most important message.

Be very aware of any burgeoning mental health issues. You can have the most brilliant narrative in place since middle school but it all can collapse when your T10 child struggles and goes off the rails. It happens more than you would think.
Be as present of a parent as you can be and address issues with due haste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents school are the biggest indicator of who gets in where. For the most part kids are following in their parents footsteps, if you went to an Ivy your kid will end up at the equivalent school or slightly lower. In our community, I haven’t see a senior end up at a school ranked higher than their parent’s alma mater .

This is fascinating….

And super hyper local anecdotal. We don't see that at all: the opposite, if any trend at all.

Same.

You’re on a DC forum. Do you live in DC or close in?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Research how majors are admitted at each school. An easy admit for undecided can be an almost impossible CS or business admit (for example- Penn State had around 5% admit for business this year)!

We were very ignorant about the small details like these and wish we had researched them before applying.

+1. PP here. This is what I meant by "know the game" for each school. Also women in STEM are an easier admit than men in STEM, and most top schools are 60/40 women/men, across the board (all majors).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be ok no matter where your kid ends up. It will be fine.

This is the most important message.

Be very aware of any burgeoning mental health issues. You can have the most brilliant narrative in place since middle school but it all can collapse when your T10 child struggles and goes off the rails. It happens more than you would think.
Be as present of a parent as you can be and address issues with due haste.

And when this happens, it's okay to bring them home. Let your kid recover, get his/her mental health stable, and try college when they have recovered. It's not a marathon, and there is no need to rush to graduate at 22.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents school are the biggest indicator of who gets in where. For the most part kids are following in their parents footsteps, if you went to an Ivy your kid will end up at the equivalent school or slightly lower. In our community, I haven’t see a senior end up at a school ranked higher than their parent’s alma mater .

Hmm. Both my kids at Ivy with multiple top admits. I went to small nonselective LAC and lower tier state school, DH to midtier UK state university.

What is a "midtier UK state university"? Like St. Andrews? I ask because many Americans think St. Andrews is ranked higher, since Prince Harry attended. LOL.