Dear MILs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Waits*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be easier to follow if you just told us what happened this time OP.

We have a 4 month old son and MIL recently came to visit from 2 hours away and said her son looked really tired. And called him later on to question why he looks so tired almost as if we don’t have a freaking 4 month old child at home.

Again not her business. We alternate nights with the baby pretty much to a T. But again even if I was being “unfair” it’s still not my MIL’s business to go behind my back and hint around to her son to check up on him to make sure I’m “doing my job.”

Her son is a grown married man and a big boy with a mouth of his own. If there were issues he is more than capable of speaking to me himself. Not having mommy swooping in as super woman to try and protect him from being a father and save him from his evil unfair wife.

This isn’t the first time she has tried to pull this shit.

My husband did the right thing by telling her mom. “Yes of course I’m tired I have a 4 month year old son but so is OP and you don’t seem to care about her well being. Please stop questioning how things are done in our household I’m a big boy.” And she did stop but of course after saying, “I’m your mother I’m just looking out for you.”

Funny how she didn’t seem to notice or care after I was in labor for hours on end and when I was super sick during my pregnancy and she didn’t check up to see if her son was doing enough to help take care of me.

Which my husband was amazing through this whole thing.

Oh wow so a mother can’t even check up on her own son after he is married? It sounds like a parent just being concerned about their own child. It doesn’t sound like at all she was hinting or implying that you don’t do your part with the baby. Your name was never even brought up by her. Unless you left that part out.

I have a feeling you wouldn’t feel the same way if a mother called up her daughter after having a baby and mentioned she was concerned because she seems super tired. You would just see it as a concerned mother looking out for her daughter.

It’s funny that the minute a mother discusses anything with her grown married son other than. “How’s the weather” or generic basic conversation the wife feels her husband’s mother is being over bearing with him or insulting the wife.

Yet a wife can talk about all kinds of deep subjects with her mom for hours on end and she isn’t scrutinized for that.

Betch, you know you're triflin'. You know. You know you're not pointing out that he's tired "just because." If you gave a dirty rat's ass, you'd be offering to babysit, clean and do laundry so BOTH new parents could rest and reconnect. But you're not. You're using a baby as an excuse to look down your nose at it's mother and couching it all in "concern" for your son. You need to step back, because the doors are closing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear DILs Everywhere,

Your husband was my son for many years before he was your husband. I don’t care if he is 5 or 95 as long as I’m alive it is my “job” to lookout for him and make sure he is being treated right.

So many men work hard for their families and all their wive’s do is spend their hard earned money. As a mom of a young son I want my son to be treated kindly in his marriage and not dominated by a domineering woman in the future.

And I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think my first loyalty is always to my own son. If I think he is being taken advantage of in his marriage you bet your ass I always have that “right” to pull him aside and have a conversation about it.

I carried him for 9 months, gave birth to him, raised him into adulthood, held him while he cried, fixed his boo boos, stayed up with him all night. I will always cradle to grave protect him.

He can divorce you honey and get another wife but he can only ever have one mother.

Signed,

A mother of a young boy.

EWWWWW

Cut the cord, betch! This is how you lose your relationship with your adult children of any gender. If you raised them right, they already know all the hush-hush nonsense you feel a need to trash-talk behind their spouse's back, you meddling twat. If you didn't, well, time's up: they're adults now. Your role is support AS NEEDED. They'll let you know they need you by asking. Unsolicited advice is always criticism, and you don't get to criticize their spouse simply because you gave birth two+ decades ago.

Lady you have a problem with your rage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be easier to follow if you just told us what happened this time OP.

We have a 4 month old son and MIL recently came to visit from 2 hours away and said her son looked really tired. And called him later on to question why he looks so tired almost as if we don’t have a freaking 4 month old child at home.

Again not her business. We alternate nights with the baby pretty much to a T. But again even if I was being “unfair” it’s still not my MIL’s business to go behind my back and hint around to her son to check up on him to make sure I’m “doing my job.”

Her son is a grown married man and a big boy with a mouth of his own. If there were issues he is more than capable of speaking to me himself. Not having mommy swooping in as super woman to try and protect him from being a father and save him from his evil unfair wife.

This isn’t the first time she has tried to pull this shit.

My husband did the right thing by telling her mom. “Yes of course I’m tired I have a 4 month year old son but so is OP and you don’t seem to care about her well being. Please stop questioning how things are done in our household I’m a big boy.” And she did stop but of course after saying, “I’m your mother I’m just looking out for you.”

Funny how she didn’t seem to notice or care after I was in labor for hours on end and when I was super sick during my pregnancy and she didn’t check up to see if her son was doing enough to help take care of me.

Which my husband was amazing through this whole thing.

Oh wow so a mother can’t even check up on her own son after he is married? It sounds like a parent just being concerned about their own child. It doesn’t sound like at all she was hinting or implying that you don’t do your part with the baby. Your name was never even brought up by her. Unless you left that part out.

I have a feeling you wouldn’t feel the same way if a mother called up her daughter after having a baby and mentioned she was concerned because she seems super tired. You would just see it as a concerned mother looking out for her daughter.

It’s funny that the minute a mother discusses anything with her grown married son other than. “How’s the weather” or generic basic conversation the wife feels her husband’s mother is being over bearing with him or insulting the wife.

Yet a wife can talk about all kinds of deep subjects with her mom for hours on end and she isn’t scrutinized for that.

Betch, you know you're triflin'. You know. You know you're not pointing out that he's tired "just because." If you gave a dirty rat's ass, you'd be offering to babysit, clean and do laundry so BOTH new parents could rest and reconnect. But you're not. You're using a baby as an excuse to look down your nose at it's mother and couching it all in "concern" for your son. You need to step back, because the doors are closing.

Is the OP? Please see the doctor asap!

[Anonymous]

OP clearly your MIL only cares about her son and not you so I would proceed accordingly. When she comes to visit don’t lift a finger let that be her precious baby boy’s responsibility.

Mother’s Day rolls around when guess what she made it very clear she sees you in no way as a daughter so you are off the hook for that as well.

What you don’t realize is your mil did you a huge favor treating you like an incubator you are now and forever always off the hook. Think of it as being freeing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a mother I will talk to my grown son about anything I damn well please.

You yourself have a 4 month old son how would you feel if his future wife or husband tried to put restrictions on what you could talk to your own child about?

If she was pointing out that I'd been a sh*t-stirring gossip trollop, I'd thank her, and praise my son for his excellent choice of partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the bar to post anything anyone wants here on this forum is far too low.

Obligatory "you must be new here"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be easier to follow if you just told us what happened this time OP.

We have a 4 month old son and MIL recently came to visit from 2 hours away and said her son looked really tired. And called him later on to question why he looks so tired almost as if we don’t have a freaking 4 month old child at home.

Again not her business. We alternate nights with the baby pretty much to a T. But again even if I was being “unfair” it’s still not my MIL’s business to go behind my back and hint around to her son to check up on him to make sure I’m “doing my job.”

Her son is a grown married man and a big boy with a mouth of his own. If there were issues he is more than capable of speaking to me himself. Not having mommy swooping in as super woman to try and protect him from being a father and save him from his evil unfair wife.

This isn’t the first time she has tried to pull this shit.

My husband did the right thing by telling her mom. “Yes of course I’m tired I have a 4 month year old son but so is OP and you don’t seem to care about her well being. Please stop questioning how things are done in our household I’m a big boy.” And she did stop but of course after saying, “I’m your mother I’m just looking out for you.”

Funny how she didn’t seem to notice or care after I was in labor for hours on end and when I was super sick during my pregnancy and she didn’t check up to see if her son was doing enough to help take care of me.

Which my husband was amazing through this whole thing.

Oh wow so a mother can’t even check up on her own son after he is married? It sounds like a parent just being concerned about their own child. It doesn’t sound like at all she was hinting or implying that you don’t do your part with the baby. Your name was never even brought up by her. Unless you left that part out.

I have a feeling you wouldn’t feel the same way if a mother called up her daughter after having a baby and mentioned she was concerned because she seems super tired. You would just see it as a concerned mother looking out for her daughter.

It’s funny that the minute a mother discusses anything with her grown married son other than. “How’s the weather” or generic basic conversation the wife feels her husband’s mother is being over bearing with him or insulting the wife.

Yet a wife can talk about all kinds of deep subjects with her mom for hours on end and she isn’t scrutinized for that.

Betch, you know you're triflin'. You know. You know you're not pointing out that he's tired "just because." If you gave a dirty rat's ass, you'd be offering to babysit, clean and do laundry so BOTH new parents could rest and reconnect. But you're not. You're using a baby as an excuse to look down your nose at it's mother and couching it all in "concern" for your son. You need to step back, because the doors are closing.

Is the OP? Please see the doctor asap!

Yeah I’m kind of seeing why the mil might be feeling however she does bc this person writes like bhad babee

[Anonymous]

NP. Are you all really that dense or are you just seriously that obtuse.

A MIL that has been around both her son and DIL all day and then the moment DIL happens to be out of the room the MIL takes the opportunity to mention to her son he looks tired isn’t innocent here. Otherwise if it was just an innocuous question she would have asked in front of her DIL. So even MIL deep down knows it’s a passive aggressive dig at the wife which is why she waited until she left the room to ask that. Read between the lines here people.

OP next time you see your MIL I would very politely and matter of fact say, “hey since you are so concerned about your son being tired you are more than welcome to come over and help out with the middle of the night feedings and when the baby wakes up screaming. Or to babysit so we can go on a date night. This lets MIL know you are aware of her passive aggressive intrusive comments and are no stranger to them and it puts her in her place.

Let’s see how much longer those comments last.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear DILs Everywhere,

Your husband was my son for many years before he was your husband. I don’t care if he is 5 or 95 as long as I’m alive it is my “job” to lookout for him and make sure he is being treated right.

So many men work hard for their families and all their wive’s do is spend their hard earned money. As a mom of a young son I want my son to be treated kindly in his marriage and not dominated by a domineering woman in the future.

And I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think my first loyalty is always to my own son. If I think he is being taken advantage of in his marriage you bet your ass I always have that “right” to pull him aside and have a conversation about it.

I carried him for 9 months, gave birth to him, raised him into adulthood, held him while he cried, fixed his boo boos, stayed up with him all night. I will always cradle to grave protect him.

He can divorce you honey and get another wife but he can only ever have one mother.

Signed,

A mother of a young boy.

EWWWWW

Cut the cord, betch! This is how you lose your relationship with your adult children of any gender. If you raised them right, they already know all the hush-hush nonsense you feel a need to trash-talk behind their spouse's back, you meddling twat. If you didn't, well, time's up: they're adults now. Your role is support AS NEEDED. They'll let you know they need you by asking. Unsolicited advice is always criticism, and you don't get to criticize their spouse simply because you gave birth two+ decades ago.

Lady you have a problem with your rage

Ah, yes, the age old insult: a woman was impolite. One must never show anger, it's not feminine.

Blow me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be easier to follow if you just told us what happened this time OP.

We have a 4 month old son and MIL recently came to visit from 2 hours away and said her son looked really tired. And called him later on to question why he looks so tired almost as if we don’t have a freaking 4 month old child at home.

Again not her business. We alternate nights with the baby pretty much to a T. But again even if I was being “unfair” it’s still not my MIL’s business to go behind my back and hint around to her son to check up on him to make sure I’m “doing my job.”

Her son is a grown married man and a big boy with a mouth of his own. If there were issues he is more than capable of speaking to me himself. Not having mommy swooping in as super woman to try and protect him from being a father and save him from his evil unfair wife.

This isn’t the first time she has tried to pull this shit.

My husband did the right thing by telling her mom. “Yes of course I’m tired I have a 4 month year old son but so is OP and you don’t seem to care about her well being. Please stop questioning how things are done in our household I’m a big boy.” And she did stop but of course after saying, “I’m your mother I’m just looking out for you.”

Funny how she didn’t seem to notice or care after I was in labor for hours on end and when I was super sick during my pregnancy and she didn’t check up to see if her son was doing enough to help take care of me.

Which my husband was amazing through this whole thing.

Oh wow so a mother can’t even check up on her own son after he is married? It sounds like a parent just being concerned about their own child. It doesn’t sound like at all she was hinting or implying that you don’t do your part with the baby. Your name was never even brought up by her. Unless you left that part out.

I have a feeling you wouldn’t feel the same way if a mother called up her daughter after having a baby and mentioned she was concerned because she seems super tired. You would just see it as a concerned mother looking out for her daughter.

It’s funny that the minute a mother discusses anything with her grown married son other than. “How’s the weather” or generic basic conversation the wife feels her husband’s mother is being over bearing with him or insulting the wife.

Yet a wife can talk about all kinds of deep subjects with her mom for hours on end and she isn’t scrutinized for that.

Betch, you know you're triflin'. You know. You know you're not pointing out that he's tired "just because." If you gave a dirty rat's ass, you'd be offering to babysit, clean and do laundry so BOTH new parents could rest and reconnect. But you're not. You're using a baby as an excuse to look down your nose at it's mother and couching it all in "concern" for your son. You need to step back, because the doors are closing.

Is the OP? Please see the doctor asap!

Yeah I’m kind of seeing why the mil might be feeling however she does bc this person writes like bhad babee

That's not from OP. But clearly the post resonates.

[Anonymous]

Living in terror of having unhinged dil like some of these folks. My kids are still under ten so hopefully can teach them to avoid ppl with zero emotional regulation and rage issues. I don’t love my mil but the vitriol on here makes me feel like an absolute treasure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear DILs Everywhere,

Your husband was my son for many years before he was your husband. I don’t care if he is 5 or 95 as long as I’m alive it is my “job” to lookout for him and make sure he is being treated right.

So many men work hard for their families and all their wive’s do is spend their hard earned money. As a mom of a young son I want my son to be treated kindly in his marriage and not dominated by a domineering woman in the future.

And I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think my first loyalty is always to my own son. If I think he is being taken advantage of in his marriage you bet your ass I always have that “right” to pull him aside and have a conversation about it.

I carried him for 9 months, gave birth to him, raised him into adulthood, held him while he cried, fixed his boo boos, stayed up with him all night. I will always cradle to grave protect him.

He can divorce you honey and get another wife but he can only ever have one mother.

Signed,

A mother of a young boy.

EWWWWW

Cut the cord, betch! This is how you lose your relationship with your adult children of any gender. If you raised them right, they already know all the hush-hush nonsense you feel a need to trash-talk behind their spouse's back, you meddling twat. If you didn't, well, time's up: they're adults now. Your role is support AS NEEDED. They'll let you know they need you by asking. Unsolicited advice is always criticism, and you don't get to criticize their spouse simply because you gave birth two+ decades ago.

Lady you have a problem with your rage

Ah, yes, the age old insult: a woman was impolite. One must never show anger, it's not feminine.

Blow me.

I think there’s a difference between expressing an opinion and a ‘blow me’ level of behavior. You need to get thee to therapy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. Are you all really that dense or are you just seriously that obtuse.

A MIL that has been around both her son and DIL all day and then the moment DIL happens to be out of the room the MIL takes the opportunity to mention to her son he looks tired isn’t innocent here. Otherwise if it was just an innocuous question she would have asked in front of her DIL. So even MIL deep down knows it’s a passive aggressive dig at the wife which is why she waited until she left the room to ask that. Read between the lines here people.

OP next time you see your MIL I would very politely and matter of fact say, “hey since you are so concerned about your son being tired you are more than welcome to come over and help out with the middle of the night feedings and when the baby wakes up screaming. Or to babysit so we can go on a date night. This lets MIL know you are aware of her passive aggressive intrusive comments and are no stranger to them and it puts her in her place.

Let’s see how much longer those comments last.

Oh yes that’s great advice. I’m going to do exactly that.

Next time my MIL visits I’m going to say very nicely and calmly, “I know you’re so concerned about your son being overtired it’s been a rough few months so we are more than happy to accept all help from family and friends so we can rest up.”

This lets her no me and her son actually talk and her passive aggressive comments aren’t lost on me.

I can’t wait until her jaw drops: