Your teen says they are leaning toward the military…

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How do you react as a parent today when your kid says they are thinking of joining either the Marines or the military.

I'm an Air Force veteran (officer), ROTC grad, and served for several years in the early 2000s and then got out to go to law school. A flat no for my DD, at least right now. Look, sexual harassment and assault is still an enormous problem. We'll see where it is in a decade, after the culture has finally adapted to having sexual assault prosecution decisions taken away from commanders. But even then, rejoining civilian life after the military is very very difficult and military service does not prepare you for the civilian workforce, no matter what the sales pitch says. Most people are not as lucky as I have been to get to a good law school and become a federal attorney.

I've heard so many people say this! I work at a law firm and one of the guys who works in the mail room was telling me he was in the Navy and or Marines (I can't recall which) and they trained him in telecommunications, but when he got out in civilian life he found what he'd been taught was completely outdated and useless. He worked as a security guard for a while and then wanted to work indoors and not have to wear a uniform, which is how he found his way to our mail room. He said all the security guards he knew were ex-military and couldn't get jobs in what they'd trained for.

Maybe for enlisted…

But I was an officer and all the friends I served with (also officers) had zero problems finding good careers once out, even if there isn’t an exact skill set comparable, the leadership training alone is a huge bonus to any companies. Plus we all have college degrees in various fields. Also, are so many military careers that do directly translate: anything medical, dental, physical therapy, OT, law, HR, PR, aviation, supply chain

I find that hard to believe. As a former officer myself, I know that most former officers either wind up being billed out as contractors for federal contracts. Or they wind up in retail (Amazon warehouse, Wal-Mart, etc.) Not many people consider those *good* careers, compared to what one could do if they didn't spend their early careers in the military.

And by the way, the leadership training being a bonus to companies -- not many view it that way. Many view military leadership as more rigid, less colloborative, less creative than what one creating a start-up in your teens and 20s. Not agreeing, just saying that's the reality. There's a lot of bromides we military folk tell ourselves to make ourselves feel good, but it's just not true.

The problem is you are taught you need a degree, any degree so many get a nothing degree that is not marketable. Those that got marketable degrees can do very well, especially if you can get a clearance. My spouse would have done better if they could have gone directly to college but financially that wasn't an option. Some are doing as you are saying, others are doing very well. It's ironic some enlisted do far better outside the military than the officers.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. We aren’t poor. They have other options.

I wasn't poor either but 132K in loans from college took 20 years to pay off. My husband had zero loans for undergrad and grad school.

THIS. I’d tell her you are going to be a VERY wealthy woman. GI bill, VA loans, Tricare. It is the place for a socialist/capitalist mindset. (Meaning smart).

Not everyone got/gets GI Bills. Tricare sucks except if you are healthy and don't need actual medical care outside an occasional ear infection. VA loans are often not better - it was a bad deal when we looked at it and only good if you have no downpayment as the interest rates were higher.

$132 is high but it depends on your job and how easily you can pay it off. They probably could have paid it off sooner if they made different life choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you react as a parent today when your kid says they are thinking of joining either the Marines or the military.

As a parent you want safety of your kid's physical AND mental health, killing or injuring others or getting killed or injured yourself, messes up both so its a difficult question. Most of the wars our soldiers were trapped into fighting, were based on lies and didn't serve our national interests so pretty much a waste of innocent lives on both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d fully support it but college degree and go in as an officer. Life is much harder as enlisted. I’d also push for Air Force or navy.

+1

I work at the VA, and I know many many vets who are too f**ked up to finish their degree and they squander their GI bill on a few bad semesters here and there until it’s gone. I see how even non-combat vets are chewed up and spit out. We’re not a military family and I don’t know much about how much harder it is to go this route, but I would push hard for that.

It's very very hard to get your degree as enlisted. They make it sound easy but it's not, especially if you have a family. It took my spouse many years to do. We were lucky he was never in combat but many friends who did, often had serious mental health issues afterward, except those in cushy jobs. Our Air Force friends were being sent to front lines as combat at one point. It can be done, but it's not easy. And, as enlisted you get pretty bad jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. We aren’t poor. They have other options.

I wasn't poor either but 132K in loans from college took 20 years to pay off. My husband had zero loans for undergrad and grad school.

THIS. I’d tell her you are going to be a VERY wealthy woman. GI bill, VA loans, Tricare. It is the place for a socialist/capitalist mindset. (Meaning smart).

We’ve really benefitted from the GI Bill and VA loans, but Tricare is pretty terrible.

The military is also horrible at treating PSTD. I know so many people who suffer and in the end can’t use the GI Bill or VA loans because they are unable to function. Their mental health doesn’t allow them to study or have a job that pays well enough to afford a mortgage.

If you are not active duty, military isn't going to treat you for PTSD if you are not medically retired. The VA handles that.

[Anonymous]

What percentage of our national budget goes towards fighting unnecessary wars?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You never responded about how many children you have. Only child? It’s a flat out no for me. Maybe Air Force WITH PILOT TRAINING ONLY. Have to come out as a pilot able to drive for Amazon or UPS or major airline.

You think pilots are safe? Sure...

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Totally unacceptable. I'd tell them to lean in another direction, and quick. (People here disagree, I don't care, we've already had this argument and we won't change each others' minds.)

+1. If he/she is 18, I can’t stop them, but we will pay for absolutely nothing related to this, including coming off our insurance (otherwise can stay on until 26 if needed).

They will have TriCare in the military, so don't need yours.

Oh yeah, we all know how great military health insurance is.

It's fine for active duty as they only take "healthier" people. For the rest of us, it sucks. My kid is healthy so it's fine. For me, its a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would feel really sad, like I had failed as a parent on some level. Outwardly I would support him but the military goes against almost everything I believe in so I would be disappointed.

I’ll be shocked though. He is super sensitive, conflict avoidant, and loves doing things his own way. The military would be a sharp contrast to that.

Everything you believe in ---- what are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What percentage of our national budget goes towards fighting unnecessary wars?

Zero. We don't fight a lot of wars that are necessary.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’d support it wholeheartedly. We are a service-oriented family full of nurses, teachers, firefighters, police officers, and military officers. The expectation for our children is that you pick a college degree and career path that serves the greater good.

Elitist and tacky.

I think denigrating service professions like the military or those listed above is elitist and tacky. This thread (heck, this website) is full of that mindset.

My parents were both enlisted and so was my DH. They struggled financially until they got out and went into the private sector. If you want the Armed Forces as a career, the officer route is the way to go. If you want to enlist for four years as an experience, before college is fine. This is the advice for my kids. YMMV.

Exactly this. My spouse did well post-retirement but financially as enlisted it was a huge struggle and he had to work two jobs and when he wanted to get his degree he could not work two jobs and financially it was difficult. Even with 15+ years in. Most of the pay is housing allowance so the military retirement is maybe $1K a month. The only reason to stay in is tricare and that sucks. I would not encourage being enlisted at all. I would push for college with us paying and then military.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you react as a parent today when your kid says they are thinking of joining either the Marines or the military.

I'm an Air Force veteran (officer), ROTC grad, and served for several years in the early 2000s and then got out to go to law school. A flat no for my DD, at least right now. Look, sexual harassment and assault is still an enormous problem. We'll see where it is in a decade, after the culture has finally adapted to having sexual assault prosecution decisions taken away from commanders. But even then, rejoining civilian life after the military is very very difficult and military service does not prepare you for the civilian workforce, no matter what the sales pitch says. Most people are not as lucky as I have been to get to a good law school and become a federal attorney.

Enlisted spouse. The military can prepare you depending on your career field. My spouse had no issue getting a job after he retired. But, he got a marketable degree before he retired. The officers and others push degrees but they don't teach that you need a degree that leads to a career when you leave or retire. That is the issue. Hate to tell you, that many are doing as well as you or better, even enlisted.

Harassment and assault is everywhere.

With respect, I doubt it. But I understand your point, and I in no way meant anything negative about your husband. I thank him for his service. Harassment and assault is everywhere, but one gives up a lot of rights to fight back in the military, and one gives a lot of control of ones life to superiors who may or may not be part of the good ol' boys network.

[Anonymous]

Your teen says they are leaning toward the military…~ I would object to it with every bone in my body

[Anonymous]

too few of you remember Vietnam

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your teen says they are leaning toward the military…~ I would object to it with every bone in my body

And I would support it with every bone of mine.