Barbie movie 'iconic' monologue is BS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't like the monologue either especially the beginning..."it's literally impossible to be a woman"

It's not impossible. I am one everyday. So much of it was the helpless, victim role, but women never acknowledge how we feed into it especially things like beauty standards, plastic surgery, etc. Women put that pressure on themselves.

Did you never study even a little feminism? I mean, The Beauty Myth has many flaws but it covered this ground 30 years ago -- and was required reading in my high school in the 90s.

I agree with a PP who thought the movie was pretty dark (though fun!) and the monologue is not really the point of the story. I wouldn't be shocked if it was a late addition.

I think it is a generational thing. As a Boomer, I thought the monologue was directed to Gen X women. My Gen X friends found the monologue to be very moving and touching, while my Boomer friends and I thought, basically, "No sh!t, Sherlock", and "Didn't we figure this out 50 years ago?"

That’s an interesting take.
I’m a GenX-er and I let out an audible laugh at this monologue because to me, it feeds right into what the boomers were told would happen (usually by men who were not pleased with the whole “women in the workplace” thing). “You won’t like it….” “You can’t do it ALL”, “We have division of labor in a household for a reason”, “running a home is a full-time job! You can’t expect to work 8-10 hours a day and come home with energy left over to do all of the following: grocery shop, cook, do laundry, clean, take care of the kids/help with homework, volunteer in the community/school…you’ll hate it!”
But our moms said “no, no—we got this! Watch us!”

But it turns out the nay-sayers weren’t wrong. At all.

As evidenced by the monologue.

I chose to stay at home and pour all my energy into the full-time job there. And I don’t feel that “expectation” that America Ferrera ranted about.
It honestly comes off as someone whining about getting what you signed up for!

I think the “you can’t do it all” is just BS to make people who can’t work and take care of their family and feel better.

I mean, most people can't do it all, in that there are only so many hours in the day. So if you have two spouses with high-powered careers, and tons of travel, and you also want three kids and want home cooked meals and to personally shuttle those kids to their activities - yeah, very few people can make that work.

Now, if you adjust your expectations - one spouse steps back, or they take turns, or you outsource, or you have one kid instead of three - more doable. I prefer the saying that you can't do it all at the same time. Life ebbs and flows. Which is not always apparent to youngsters of 22 or even 28.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hated the movie. I wish I could get back that time. Even worse I let me DDs watch it.

- female in my mid 50s

I didn’t love it either.
What was the takeaway from your DDs?
Mine DD was baffled about why everyone thought it was so great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't like the monologue either especially the beginning..."it's literally impossible to be a woman"

It's not impossible. I am one everyday. So much of it was the helpless, victim role, but women never acknowledge how we feed into it especially things like beauty standards, plastic surgery, etc. Women put that pressure on themselves.

Did you never study even a little feminism? I mean, The Beauty Myth has many flaws but it covered this ground 30 years ago -- and was required reading in my high school in the 90s.

I agree with a PP who thought the movie was pretty dark (though fun!) and the monologue is not really the point of the story. I wouldn't be shocked if it was a late addition.

I think it is a generational thing. As a Boomer, I thought the monologue was directed to Gen X women. My Gen X friends found the monologue to be very moving and touching, while my Boomer friends and I thought, basically, "No sh!t, Sherlock", and "Didn't we figure this out 50 years ago?"

That’s an interesting take.
I’m a GenX-er and I let out an audible laugh at this monologue because to me, it feeds right into what the boomers were told would happen (usually by men who were not pleased with the whole “women in the workplace” thing). “You won’t like it….” “You can’t do it ALL”, “We have division of labor in a household for a reason”, “running a home is a full-time job! You can’t expect to work 8-10 hours a day and come home with energy left over to do all of the following: grocery shop, cook, do laundry, clean, take care of the kids/help with homework, volunteer in the community/school…you’ll hate it!”
But our moms said “no, no—we got this! Watch us!”

But it turns out the nay-sayers weren’t wrong. At all.

As evidenced by the monologue.

I chose to stay at home and pour all my energy into the full-time job there. And I don’t feel that “expectation” that America Ferrera ranted about.
It honestly comes off as someone whining about getting what you signed up for!

I think the “you can’t do it all” is just BS to make people who can’t work and take care of their family and feel better.

I mean, most people can't do it all, in that there are only so many hours in the day. So if you have two spouses with high-powered careers, and tons of travel, and you also want three kids and want home cooked meals and to personally shuttle those kids to their activities - yeah, very few people can make that work.

Now, if you adjust your expectations - one spouse steps back, or they take turns, or you outsource, or you have one kid instead of three - more doable. I prefer the saying that you can't do it all at the same time. Life ebbs and flows. Which is not always apparent to youngsters of 22 or even 28.

Nope.
PP CAN do it all. Full stop.
(She just “can’t be a football player”, for whatever reason.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't like the monologue either especially the beginning..."it's literally impossible to be a woman"

It's not impossible. I am one everyday. So much of it was the helpless, victim role, but women never acknowledge how we feed into it especially things like beauty standards, plastic surgery, etc. Women put that pressure on themselves.

Did you never study even a little feminism? I mean, The Beauty Myth has many flaws but it covered this ground 30 years ago -- and was required reading in my high school in the 90s.

I agree with a PP who thought the movie was pretty dark (though fun!) and the monologue is not really the point of the story. I wouldn't be shocked if it was a late addition.

I think it is a generational thing. As a Boomer, I thought the monologue was directed to Gen X women. My Gen X friends found the monologue to be very moving and touching, while my Boomer friends and I thought, basically, "No sh!t, Sherlock", and "Didn't we figure this out 50 years ago?"

That’s an interesting take.
I’m a GenX-er and I let out an audible laugh at this monologue because to me, it feeds right into what the boomers were told would happen (usually by men who were not pleased with the whole “women in the workplace” thing). “You won’t like it….” “You can’t do it ALL”, “We have division of labor in a household for a reason”, “running a home is a full-time job! You can’t expect to work 8-10 hours a day and come home with energy left over to do all of the following: grocery shop, cook, do laundry, clean, take care of the kids/help with homework, volunteer in the community/school…you’ll hate it!”
But our moms said “no, no—we got this! Watch us!”

But it turns out the nay-sayers weren’t wrong. At all.

As evidenced by the monologue.

I chose to stay at home and pour all my energy into the full-time job there. And I don’t feel that “expectation” that America Ferrera ranted about.
It honestly comes off as someone whining about getting what you signed up for!

I think the “you can’t do it all” is just BS to make people who can’t work and take care of their family and feel better.

So in other words—you CAN do it all…you just need the recognition of being a martyr for it, righ?
That’s what the monologue is. It’s double-speak. “Don’t you dare tell me I can’t do it all”—that’s BS…
“But now I will complain about how miserable it makes me to do so and how terrible “the world” is to me for putting these “impossible expectations” on me.”

Tiresome.

Yes I can. But I can’t be a football player.

I’m not threatened by the fact someone can be a football player and you should not be threatened that I can “do it all”.

Btw, running a house is not a full time job.

Great! You seem very fulfilled at “doing it all” and extremely satisfied that none of this is an issue for you. That’s wonderful for you.
And I’m not threatened by that.
But I’d think if that were true then this monologue would seem quite silly to you in the first place.

It’s a movie about a plastic doll, of course it’s silly.

But you are misunderstanding the monologue.

I have it all and I’m criticizing. Like you are criticizing my ability to do it all. In your assertion, I must not be doing it all because I work so there is something that you think I’m not doing.

So you are doing exactly what the monologue says.

I was thin and told too thin, then I was a healthy weight and told I needed to lose weight, then I worked and criticized for not “always being home” even if my kid was literally sleeping or in school, and on and on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't like the monologue either especially the beginning..."it's literally impossible to be a woman"

It's not impossible. I am one everyday. So much of it was the helpless, victim role, but women never acknowledge how we feed into it especially things like beauty standards, plastic surgery, etc. Women put that pressure on themselves.

Did you never study even a little feminism? I mean, The Beauty Myth has many flaws but it covered this ground 30 years ago -- and was required reading in my high school in the 90s.

I agree with a PP who thought the movie was pretty dark (though fun!) and the monologue is not really the point of the story. I wouldn't be shocked if it was a late addition.

I think it is a generational thing. As a Boomer, I thought the monologue was directed to Gen X women. My Gen X friends found the monologue to be very moving and touching, while my Boomer friends and I thought, basically, "No sh!t, Sherlock", and "Didn't we figure this out 50 years ago?"

That’s an interesting take.
I’m a GenX-er and I let out an audible laugh at this monologue because to me, it feeds right into what the boomers were told would happen (usually by men who were not pleased with the whole “women in the workplace” thing). “You won’t like it….” “You can’t do it ALL”, “We have division of labor in a household for a reason”, “running a home is a full-time job! You can’t expect to work 8-10 hours a day and come home with energy left over to do all of the following: grocery shop, cook, do laundry, clean, take care of the kids/help with homework, volunteer in the community/school…you’ll hate it!”
But our moms said “no, no—we got this! Watch us!”

But it turns out the nay-sayers weren’t wrong. At all.

As evidenced by the monologue.

I chose to stay at home and pour all my energy into the full-time job there. And I don’t feel that “expectation” that America Ferrera ranted about.
It honestly comes off as someone whining about getting what you signed up for!

I think the “you can’t do it all” is just BS to make people who can’t work and take care of their family and feel better.

I mean, most people can't do it all, in that there are only so many hours in the day. So if you have two spouses with high-powered careers, and tons of travel, and you also want three kids and want home cooked meals and to personally shuttle those kids to their activities - yeah, very few people can make that work.

Now, if you adjust your expectations - one spouse steps back, or they take turns, or you outsource, or you have one kid instead of three - more doable. I prefer the saying that you can't do it all at the same time. Life ebbs and flows. Which is not always apparent to youngsters of 22 or even 28.

So? So what if you can’t do it all. Do what makes you happy.

The fact that you describe “adjust your expectations “ as not having 2 high power jobs shows you’ve been socialized to do exactly what the Barbie movie points out.

You think a nurse is not a job? Or teacher? Or a government lawyer? Or a psychologist? Or a dentist? None of those are high power.

I don’t think going to school is outsourcing do you? I don’t slaughter my own beef, is that outsourcing.

You’ve got yourself all twisted up, relax.

Do what makes you happy and just stop twisting yourself all up
Over others expectations.

So what if I’m thin and workout, own my own business, have a H that is <fillin blank successfully job>, and we raise our kids and coach their teams and cook at home and are home every night and do it well.

Who care why does that bother you so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't like the monologue either especially the beginning..."it's literally impossible to be a woman"

It's not impossible. I am one everyday. So much of it was the helpless, victim role, but women never acknowledge how we feed into it especially things like beauty standards, plastic surgery, etc. Women put that pressure on themselves.

Did you never study even a little feminism? I mean, The Beauty Myth has many flaws but it covered this ground 30 years ago -- and was required reading in my high school in the 90s.

I agree with a PP who thought the movie was pretty dark (though fun!) and the monologue is not really the point of the story. I wouldn't be shocked if it was a late addition.

I think it is a generational thing. As a Boomer, I thought the monologue was directed to Gen X women. My Gen X friends found the monologue to be very moving and touching, while my Boomer friends and I thought, basically, "No sh!t, Sherlock", and "Didn't we figure this out 50 years ago?"

That’s an interesting take.
I’m a GenX-er and I let out an audible laugh at this monologue because to me, it feeds right into what the boomers were told would happen (usually by men who were not pleased with the whole “women in the workplace” thing). “You won’t like it….” “You can’t do it ALL”, “We have division of labor in a household for a reason”, “running a home is a full-time job! You can’t expect to work 8-10 hours a day and come home with energy left over to do all of the following: grocery shop, cook, do laundry, clean, take care of the kids/help with homework, volunteer in the community/school…you’ll hate it!”
But our moms said “no, no—we got this! Watch us!”

But it turns out the nay-sayers weren’t wrong. At all.

As evidenced by the monologue.

I chose to stay at home and pour all my energy into the full-time job there. And I don’t feel that “expectation” that America Ferrera ranted about.
It honestly comes off as someone whining about getting what you signed up for!

I think the “you can’t do it all” is just BS to make people who can’t work and take care of their family and feel better.

So in other words—you CAN do it all…you just need the recognition of being a martyr for it, righ?
That’s what the monologue is. It’s double-speak. “Don’t you dare tell me I can’t do it all”—that’s BS…
“But now I will complain about how miserable it makes me to do so and how terrible “the world” is to me for putting these “impossible expectations” on me.”

Tiresome.

Yes I can. But I can’t be a football player.

I’m not threatened by the fact someone can be a football player and you should not be threatened that I can “do it all”.

Btw, running a house is not a full time job.

Great! You seem very fulfilled at “doing it all” and extremely satisfied that none of this is an issue for you. That’s wonderful for you.
And I’m not threatened by that.
But I’d think if that were true then this monologue would seem quite silly to you in the first place.

It’s a movie about a plastic doll, of course it’s silly.

But you are misunderstanding the monologue.

I have it all and I’m criticizing. Like you are criticizing my ability to do it all. In your assertion, I must not be doing it all because I work so there is something that you think I’m not doing.

So you are doing exactly what the monologue says.

I was thin and told too thin, then I was a healthy weight and told I needed to lose weight, then I worked and criticized for not “always being home” even if my kid was literally sleeping or in school, and on and on

But I never said you SHOULD (or even COULD) do all those things. YOU did.
You are creating the dichotomy in your own mind. And then complaining about how it’s impossible to have it both ways. (Except something you are still claiming that YOU do it all. Except. You don’t.)

For example, you can’t work outside the home AND be the caregiver for your 3-year old. So you EITHER don’t work during that time OR you outsource the caregiving to someone else.
That isn’t doing it all. Because it’s literally not possible to be two places at once.
Your husband can do it while you go to work. But that’s division of labor, not “doing it all.”


And for some weird reason

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't like the monologue either especially the beginning..."it's literally impossible to be a woman"

It's not impossible. I am one everyday. So much of it was the helpless, victim role, but women never acknowledge how we feed into it especially things like beauty standards, plastic surgery, etc. Women put that pressure on themselves.

Did you never study even a little feminism? I mean, The Beauty Myth has many flaws but it covered this ground 30 years ago -- and was required reading in my high school in the 90s.

I agree with a PP who thought the movie was pretty dark (though fun!) and the monologue is not really the point of the story. I wouldn't be shocked if it was a late addition.

I think it is a generational thing. As a Boomer, I thought the monologue was directed to Gen X women. My Gen X friends found the monologue to be very moving and touching, while my Boomer friends and I thought, basically, "No sh!t, Sherlock", and "Didn't we figure this out 50 years ago?"

That’s an interesting take.
I’m a GenX-er and I let out an audible laugh at this monologue because to me, it feeds right into what the boomers were told would happen (usually by men who were not pleased with the whole “women in the workplace” thing). “You won’t like it….” “You can’t do it ALL”, “We have division of labor in a household for a reason”, “running a home is a full-time job! You can’t expect to work 8-10 hours a day and come home with energy left over to do all of the following: grocery shop, cook, do laundry, clean, take care of the kids/help with homework, volunteer in the community/school…you’ll hate it!”
But our moms said “no, no—we got this! Watch us!”

But it turns out the nay-sayers weren’t wrong. At all.

As evidenced by the monologue.

I chose to stay at home and pour all my energy into the full-time job there. And I don’t feel that “expectation” that America Ferrera ranted about.
It honestly comes off as someone whining about getting what you signed up for!

I think the “you can’t do it all” is just BS to make people who can’t work and take care of their family and feel better.

I mean, most people can't do it all, in that there are only so many hours in the day. So if you have two spouses with high-powered careers, and tons of travel, and you also want three kids and want home cooked meals and to personally shuttle those kids to their activities - yeah, very few people can make that work.

Now, if you adjust your expectations - one spouse steps back, or they take turns, or you outsource, or you have one kid instead of three - more doable. I prefer the saying that you can't do it all at the same time. Life ebbs and flows. Which is not always apparent to youngsters of 22 or even 28.

So? So what if you can’t do it all. Do what makes you happy.

The fact that you describe “adjust your expectations “ as not having 2 high power jobs shows you’ve been socialized to do exactly what the Barbie movie points out.

You think a nurse is not a job? Or teacher? Or a government lawyer? Or a psychologist? Or a dentist? None of those are high power.

I don’t think going to school is outsourcing do you? I don’t slaughter my own beef, is that outsourcing.

You’ve got yourself all twisted up, relax.

Do what makes you happy and just stop twisting yourself all up
Over others expectations.

So what if I’m thin and workout, own my own business, have a H that is <fillin blank successfully job>, and we raise our kids and coach their teams and cook at home and are home every night and do it well.

Who care why does that bother you so much.

What bothers me is when people think that somehow they are failing if they can't magically have everything they want at the same time. My point is that doesn't work for the vast majority of people, men and women both. If that is cultural, it's American culture, not some big patriarchal conspiracy.

I do think putting your 13 year old in an Uber to get to tutoring is outsourcing. I don't think any of the other things you mention are, and I am not sure why you would think that, but whatever. However, I also don't care if someone puts their 13 year old in an Uber, if that's what works for them. It doesn't work for me, and so I make choices that don't require me to do it.

As it happens I am a government lawyer, and the trade-off I made, in order to have the time I want with my family, is to work in an area that I find interesting but not extraordinarily compelling, and not become an AUSA, which would be my first choice. Because the hours and stress and travel of an AUSA job would mean I don't have enough time with my kids. But I don't feel that I had to make that choice because I am a woman, and that my government lawyer husband doesn't have to make that choice. He in fact made the exact same choice. There is only so much time in the day. We all make these choices and I don't perceive that the patriarchy is keeping me from a fulfilling life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It hits different generationally.

"Modern women" won't find it to be a revelation.

Many older women will find it liberating.

Lots of (more clueless) men will find it thought-provoking.

More traditional or sheltered women of younger generations will find it novel.

There's value in that, even if there isn't value for you and me.

Agree with this completely. The younger generation does not realize what it was like for the older generation. When I was in school, girls sports were practically nonexistent except for maybe volleyball. But you could be a cheerleader.

The rights and expectations for females today were fought for by yesterday’s women. Some of those rights are being eroding by today’s political venues. And with that, expectations will also revert back to the past.

And if you think all of what was said in the movie is wrong, take a look at today’s landscape. If a female politician or celebrity comes on too strong the B word is used and the criticisms against them are much more than if a man comes on as strong as today’s women.

And take a look at the #metoo movement. For awhile there it had great traction but it too is starting to back slide.

[Anonymous]

OP- I agree with you. I did not enjoy the Barbie movie because of the monologues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't like the monologue either especially the beginning..."it's literally impossible to be a woman"

It's not impossible. I am one everyday. So much of it was the helpless, victim role, but women never acknowledge how we feed into it especially things like beauty standards, plastic surgery, etc. Women put that pressure on themselves.

Did you never study even a little feminism? I mean, The Beauty Myth has many flaws but it covered this ground 30 years ago -- and was required reading in my high school in the 90s.

I agree with a PP who thought the movie was pretty dark (though fun!) and the monologue is not really the point of the story. I wouldn't be shocked if it was a late addition.

I think it is a generational thing. As a Boomer, I thought the monologue was directed to Gen X women. My Gen X friends found the monologue to be very moving and touching, while my Boomer friends and I thought, basically, "No sh!t, Sherlock", and "Didn't we figure this out 50 years ago?"

That’s an interesting take.
I’m a GenX-er and I let out an audible laugh at this monologue because to me, it feeds right into what the boomers were told would happen (usually by men who were not pleased with the whole “women in the workplace” thing). “You won’t like it….” “You can’t do it ALL”, “We have division of labor in a household for a reason”, “running a home is a full-time job! You can’t expect to work 8-10 hours a day and come home with energy left over to do all of the following: grocery shop, cook, do laundry, clean, take care of the kids/help with homework, volunteer in the community/school…you’ll hate it!”
But our moms said “no, no—we got this! Watch us!”

But it turns out the nay-sayers weren’t wrong. At all.

As evidenced by the monologue.

I chose to stay at home and pour all my energy into the full-time job there. And I don’t feel that “expectation” that America Ferrera ranted about.
It honestly comes off as someone whining about getting what you signed up for!

I think the “you can’t do it all” is just BS to make people who can’t work and take care of their family and feel better.

So in other words—you CAN do it all…you just need the recognition of being a martyr for it, righ?
That’s what the monologue is. It’s double-speak. “Don’t you dare tell me I can’t do it all”—that’s BS…
“But now I will complain about how miserable it makes me to do so and how terrible “the world” is to me for putting these “impossible expectations” on me.”

Tiresome.

Yes I can. But I can’t be a football player.

I’m not threatened by the fact someone can be a football player and you should not be threatened that I can “do it all”.

Btw, running a house is not a full time job.

Great! You seem very fulfilled at “doing it all” and extremely satisfied that none of this is an issue for you. That’s wonderful for you.
And I’m not threatened by that.
But I’d think if that were true then this monologue would seem quite silly to you in the first place.

It’s a movie about a plastic doll, of course it’s silly.

But you are misunderstanding the monologue.

I have it all and I’m criticizing. Like you are criticizing my ability to do it all. In your assertion, I must not be doing it all because I work so there is something that you think I’m not doing.

So you are doing exactly what the monologue says.

I was thin and told too thin, then I was a healthy weight and told I needed to lose weight, then I worked and criticized for not “always being home” even if my kid was literally sleeping or in school, and on and on

But I never said you SHOULD (or even COULD) do all those things. YOU did.
You are creating the dichotomy in your own mind. And then complaining about how it’s impossible to have it both ways. (Except something you are still claiming that YOU do it all. Except. You don’t.)

For example, you can’t work outside the home AND be the caregiver for your 3-year old. So you EITHER don’t work during that time OR you outsource the caregiving to someone else.
That isn’t doing it all. Because it’s literally not possible to be two places at once.
Your husband can do it while you go to work. But that’s division of labor, not “doing it all.”


And for some weird reason

Yes I can work outside the home and care for my 3 year old.

3 year olds go to preschool, they nap, they go to bed early, they have a father.

Caring for a child does not mean being there 24x7. Even SAHM s are not with a child 24x7.

Yes having my h fully involved in our child’s life is still doing it all. Just like not baking bread is still doing it all.

You need to create these narrow rules to feel better about your decisions and I find that sad and exactly what the Barbie movie is pointing out, but you clearly missed the point,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't like the monologue either especially the beginning..."it's literally impossible to be a woman"

It's not impossible. I am one everyday. So much of it was the helpless, victim role, but women never acknowledge how we feed into it especially things like beauty standards, plastic surgery, etc. Women put that pressure on themselves.

Did you never study even a little feminism? I mean, The Beauty Myth has many flaws but it covered this ground 30 years ago -- and was required reading in my high school in the 90s.

I agree with a PP who thought the movie was pretty dark (though fun!) and the monologue is not really the point of the story. I wouldn't be shocked if it was a late addition.

I think it is a generational thing. As a Boomer, I thought the monologue was directed to Gen X women. My Gen X friends found the monologue to be very moving and touching, while my Boomer friends and I thought, basically, "No sh!t, Sherlock", and "Didn't we figure this out 50 years ago?"

That’s an interesting take.
I’m a GenX-er and I let out an audible laugh at this monologue because to me, it feeds right into what the boomers were told would happen (usually by men who were not pleased with the whole “women in the workplace” thing). “You won’t like it….” “You can’t do it ALL”, “We have division of labor in a household for a reason”, “running a home is a full-time job! You can’t expect to work 8-10 hours a day and come home with energy left over to do all of the following: grocery shop, cook, do laundry, clean, take care of the kids/help with homework, volunteer in the community/school…you’ll hate it!”
But our moms said “no, no—we got this! Watch us!”

But it turns out the nay-sayers weren’t wrong. At all.

As evidenced by the monologue.

I chose to stay at home and pour all my energy into the full-time job there. And I don’t feel that “expectation” that America Ferrera ranted about.
It honestly comes off as someone whining about getting what you signed up for!

I think the “you can’t do it all” is just BS to make people who can’t work and take care of their family and feel better.

I mean, most people can't do it all, in that there are only so many hours in the day. So if you have two spouses with high-powered careers, and tons of travel, and you also want three kids and want home cooked meals and to personally shuttle those kids to their activities - yeah, very few people can make that work.

Now, if you adjust your expectations - one spouse steps back, or they take turns, or you outsource, or you have one kid instead of three - more doable. I prefer the saying that you can't do it all at the same time. Life ebbs and flows. Which is not always apparent to youngsters of 22 or even 28.

So? So what if you can’t do it all. Do what makes you happy.

The fact that you describe “adjust your expectations “ as not having 2 high power jobs shows you’ve been socialized to do exactly what the Barbie movie points out.

You think a nurse is not a job? Or teacher? Or a government lawyer? Or a psychologist? Or a dentist? None of those are high power.

I don’t think going to school is outsourcing do you? I don’t slaughter my own beef, is that outsourcing.

You’ve got yourself all twisted up, relax.

Do what makes you happy and just stop twisting yourself all up
Over others expectations.

So what if I’m thin and workout, own my own business, have a H that is <fillin blank successfully job>, and we raise our kids and coach their teams and cook at home and are home every night and do it well.

Who care why does that bother you so much.

What bothers me is when people think that somehow they are failing if they can't magically have everything they want at the same time. My point is that doesn't work for the vast majority of people, men and women both. If that is cultural, it's American culture, not some big patriarchal conspiracy.

I do think putting your 13 year old in an Uber to get to tutoring is outsourcing. I don't think any of the other things you mention are, and I am not sure why you would think that, but whatever. However, I also don't care if someone puts their 13 year old in an Uber, if that's what works for them. It doesn't work for me, and so I make choices that don't require me to do it.

As it happens I am a government lawyer, and the trade-off I made, in order to have the time I want with my family, is to work in an area that I find interesting but not extraordinarily compelling, and not become an AUSA, which would be my first choice. Because the hours and stress and travel of an AUSA job would mean I don't have enough time with my kids. But I don't feel that I had to make that choice because I am a woman, and that my government lawyer husband doesn't have to make that choice. He in fact made the exact same choice. There is only so much time in the day. We all make these choices and I don't perceive that the patriarchy is keeping me from a fulfilling life.

You’re right.

I don’t have it all. I’ve never been to the Maldives and I outsource my child’s going to school to a yellow bus driver and sometime metro.

Do you even hear yourself.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I didn't like the monologue either especially the beginning..."it's literally impossible to be a woman"

It's not impossible. I am one everyday. So much of it was the helpless, victim role, but women never acknowledge how we feed into it especially things like beauty standards, plastic surgery, etc. Women put that pressure on themselves.

Did you never study even a little feminism? I mean, The Beauty Myth has many flaws but it covered this ground 30 years ago -- and was required reading in my high school in the 90s.

I agree with a PP who thought the movie was pretty dark (though fun!) and the monologue is not really the point of the story. I wouldn't be shocked if it was a late addition.

I think it is a generational thing. As a Boomer, I thought the monologue was directed to Gen X women. My Gen X friends found the monologue to be very moving and touching, while my Boomer friends and I thought, basically, "No sh!t, Sherlock", and "Didn't we figure this out 50 years ago?"

That’s an interesting take.
I’m a GenX-er and I let out an audible laugh at this monologue because to me, it feeds right into what the boomers were told would happen (usually by men who were not pleased with the whole “women in the workplace” thing). “You won’t like it….” “You can’t do it ALL”, “We have division of labor in a household for a reason”, “running a home is a full-time job! You can’t expect to work 8-10 hours a day and come home with energy left over to do all of the following: grocery shop, cook, do laundry, clean, take care of the kids/help with homework, volunteer in the community/school…you’ll hate it!”
But our moms said “no, no—we got this! Watch us!”

But it turns out the nay-sayers weren’t wrong. At all.

As evidenced by the monologue.

I chose to stay at home and pour all my energy into the full-time job there. And I don’t feel that “expectation” that America Ferrera ranted about.
It honestly comes off as someone whining about getting what you signed up for!

I think the “you can’t do it all” is just BS to make people who can’t work and take care of their family and feel better.

So in other words—you CAN do it all…you just need the recognition of being a martyr for it, righ?
That’s what the monologue is. It’s double-speak. “Don’t you dare tell me I can’t do it all”—that’s BS…
“But now I will complain about how miserable it makes me to do so and how terrible “the world” is to me for putting these “impossible expectations” on me.”

Tiresome.

Yes I can. But I can’t be a football player.

I’m not threatened by the fact someone can be a football player and you should not be threatened that I can “do it all”.

Btw, running a house is not a full time job.

Great! You seem very fulfilled at “doing it all” and extremely satisfied that none of this is an issue for you. That’s wonderful for you.
And I’m not threatened by that.
But I’d think if that were true then this monologue would seem quite silly to you in the first place.

It’s a movie about a plastic doll, of course it’s silly.

But you are misunderstanding the monologue.

I have it all and I’m criticizing. Like you are criticizing my ability to do it all. In your assertion, I must not be doing it all because I work so there is something that you think I’m not doing.

So you are doing exactly what the monologue says.

I was thin and told too thin, then I was a healthy weight and told I needed to lose weight, then I worked and criticized for not “always being home” even if my kid was literally sleeping or in school, and on and on

But I never said you SHOULD (or even COULD) do all those things. YOU did.
You are creating the dichotomy in your own mind. And then complaining about how it’s impossible to have it both ways. (Except something you are still claiming that YOU do it all. Except. You don’t.)

For example, you can’t work outside the home AND be the caregiver for your 3-year old. So you EITHER don’t work during that time OR you outsource the caregiving to someone else.
That isn’t doing it all. Because it’s literally not possible to be two places at once.
Your husband can do it while you go to work. But that’s division of labor, not “doing it all.”


And for some weird reason

You just posted that having a father raise his child is akin to outsourcing… wtf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought it was on point, OP.

Audiences may not have realized it, but the movie's entire goal is to show that Barbieland's matriarchy is just as stifling as the real world's patriarchy. That we have not yet found any way of living as equals, and may never do so. That some minority populations (Allan, weird Barbie, etc) will never find their place.

The conclusion is quite dark, actually, but because it's all wrapped in pink and smiles, a lot of people missed it.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feel like you are WAAAY overthinking it.

From my perspective as a late 40s gen xer, it’s really simple: it’s a lot easier for a mediocre white man to get ahead or achieve success than for a mediocre or even above average woman.

Doesn’t mean that mediocre or above average women won’t get ahead… Or that every mediocre white man will achieve success… It’s just the odds are stacked against women for a number of reasons. I wouldn’t say America is an anti-woman hell scape, but I do think the playing field is not level, and day after day a year after year, it can get to you.

Genuinely curious to hear your thoughts as to what, specifically, is not level about the playing field in 2023z

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feel like you are WAAAY overthinking it.

From my perspective as a late 40s gen xer, it’s really simple: it’s a lot easier for a mediocre white man to get ahead or achieve success than for a mediocre or even above average woman.

Doesn’t mean that mediocre or above average women won’t get ahead… Or that every mediocre white man will achieve success… It’s just the odds are stacked against women for a number of reasons. I wouldn’t say America is an anti-woman hell scape, but I do think the playing field is not level, and day after day a year after year, it can get to you.

Genuinely curious to hear your thoughts as to what, specifically, is not level about the playing field in 2023z

Equal pay for equal work.