I think people who brag deserve the jealousy and hate it engenders

[Anonymous]

Bragging does not register to me. I am very oblivious to symbols of wealth or status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some people are so insecure and paranoid that they misinterpret regular conversation for bragging because they assume everything ties back to them somehow.

This 100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i do not understand the dcum people who say 'you should just be happy for people'.

It is not at ALL hard to differentiate between people who are sharing good fortune with you because either they can't help it (you notice) or in a way that is humble and deserving of being happy for them, and people who are deliberately seeking to make you feel envious or unsuccessful and should be shut down. It is never ever difficult to tell the difference. If you ever showed off and think you did it subtly, you didn't. everyone knew.

+1. Another thing about braggarts is that they are often trying to get you to "be happy" for them regarding something you don't value or doesn't matter to you, because THEY think it's impressive. But if I don't care about whatever it is they are bragging about (travel sports, having a really demanding job, being politically connected, fancy cars, designer brands) this will only come off as tedious to me.

I know a woman who always refers to her belongings (and yes, she talks about her belongings a lot) by their brand name. So she'll say "I'm going to run and get my Arc'teryx from the house because I'm cold" or "I'll just stick these in the back of the Audi" or whatever. It is such a weird affectation, and does not make me feel envious at all. It makes her seem shallow and brand-obsessed.

It's also funny when someone will brag about some connection or status that I have no idea what it is, and you can see them get visibly annoyed that I'm not impressed because I don't care. This happens in DC sometimes when people will refer to an employer and I can tell I'm supposed to be like "oh wow, that's a very important place to work," but it's usually some consulting firm or think tank that does not register for me and has zero relevance to my life. It's not like they work at the White House, it will be some economic consulting firm that only people who work in that industry will care about, but they need me to be wowed. It's sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My statement requires actual bragging. If it's not bragging, and just interpreted as such do to the listener's insecurity, then my statement by definition doesn't apply.

I'm speaking only of overt bragging that falls within the dictionary definition: excessively proud or boastful talk about one's accomplishments or possessions.

I agree with the PP who noted that bragging is designed to provoke jealousy. This is true, and thus why I have no sympathy for braggarts who find themselves the subject of jealousy and hate. They did it to themselves.

I think I work with you. Highly competitive and solipsistic.

[Anonymous]

I was friends with a woman who frequently accused others of bragging. Years later, it occurred to me that assigning bragging to the other person absolved her of responsibility for owning her envy. It's always easier to deflect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was friends with a woman who frequently accused others of bragging. Years later, it occurred to me that assigning bragging to the other person absolved her of responsibility for owning her envy. It's always easier to deflect.

This.

[Anonymous]

If you need a tutorial there's a lady (can't find the link) on TikTok who is the 'one upper' mom and she captures it perfectly. "Oh, Bobby hasn't gotten any calls from college coaches yet? Well, you know . . . "

I had kids who were really small for their ages and it's amazing what people would brag about. The number of people who were compelled to tell me that their children were ninetieth percentile for height, etc. Yeah, we get it, my kids are short!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you need a tutorial there's a lady (can't find the link) on TikTok who is the 'one upper' mom and she captures it perfectly. "Oh, Bobby hasn't gotten any calls from college coaches yet? Well, you know . . . "

I had kids who were really small for their ages and it's amazing what people would brag about. The number of people who were compelled to tell me that their children were ninetieth percentile for height, etc. Yeah, we get it, my kids are short!

https://www.tiktok.com/@d_prend40

The one-upper videos are pretty hilarious and scarily accurate. My favorite is the one where she randomly assaults a barista in a coffee shop to brag about her son's ("Joshy") travel sports, because people like this absolutely love to brag to people who truly could not possibly care less about their kid, it's uncanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some people are so insecure and paranoid that they misinterpret regular conversation for bragging because they assume everything ties back to them somehow.

x100000. Bravo. This. Every word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was friends with a woman who frequently accused others of bragging. Years later, it occurred to me that assigning bragging to the other person absolved her of responsibility for owning her envy. It's always easier to deflect.

This.

+2

Nailed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should people hide all their happy moments and only share sad ones? That would be unhealthy and unbalanced. Some people choose to be bitter and unhappy and that’s their choice but the rest of us shouldn’t be held hostage by that. They are the ones with a problem.

Agree. Some people like to kick people when they are down, and like to celebrate when people lose, or are sick, or when something bad happens, and like a front seat to the unsolicited drama. Others are able to be happy for themselves, and also for other people, and like minimal drama. I would much rather be the latter, and strive to live my life that way, since life really is short. A-holes bring their a-holery onto themselves, and if they have a-hole friends (assuming they have any friends), then they bring that on themselves.

Misery does indeed love company!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You reap what you so.

Change my mind.

My aren't we demanding!

No I won't change your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some people are so insecure and paranoid that they misinterpret regular conversation for bragging because they assume everything ties back to them somehow.

x100000. Bravo. This. Every word.

And for this, we should maybe pity them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some people are so insecure and paranoid that they misinterpret regular conversation for bragging because they assume everything ties back to them somehow.

x100000. Bravo. This. Every word.

And for this, we should maybe pity them.

If this another grifter thread asking for a handout??

[Anonymous]

Ah. But there is a different level too: the joy of simply winding people up.