Chill applications thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I welcome anyone who has let their kids fill out their own applications, have NOT hired a counsellor or coach, and are letting this be their kids journey, not theirs.

Please come on in and share your stories!

Here’s mine - DD refused to let us look at her essays and supplementals - not even just to proofread. Wasn’t about to fight with her on that. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and I’m sure she will end up exactly where she belongs!

I have a child kind of like that too…will not let us see the essays…wants to “sink or swim” on their own. Part of me is impressed by the confidence and self motivation…part of me is frustrated as heck because I would like to at least proofread them.

IMO, it is a sign of immaturity and arrogance to want to “sink or swim” on your own for important things. Even the top people in any field get review & feedback and make changes based on it. It does not have to be a parent proofreading, it can be another trusted adult.

Meh, I did all that myself as a teen. My parents were barely involved. Not that they wouldn’t have been if I had asked, I just didn’t feel the need. I was a decent writer and wrote and edited my own essays.

I realize “times are different” or whatever, but some kids are confident in their abilities and it isn’t immaturity at all.

Meh, you didn’t even have one teacher or counselor who you trusted to read your essay. How sad for you :-/

Why is it sad? Teachers were writing recommendations for me. And asking for help with essays just wasn't a big thing in the 90s. We had a college counselor at our school if I needed him, but I was pretty self motivated and self assured. I managed to get into multiple schools on my own and don't regret anything about my process. I was actually only 16 doing all of this, too.

I didn't see any of this as life or death. I knew I was a competitive student for most schools and wasn't overly stressed by the process. I think we've made this process more stressful than it needs to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't talk a lot about where people went to college or follow college sports in our house. As a result, by 11th grade they had heard of HYPSM, NYU, Columbia, Fordham, Brooklyn College, UCLA. And the schools DH and I attended.

(I did it all myself when I was a kid. And I could also have named about a dozen colleges at the time. It's just that in the last century it wasn't hard to get into that Brand Name School I had heard about that one time. Not like now)

When people are like, we did nothing!! .. and their NYC kid ends up at Bowdoin or Pomona or Kenyon or McGill (x500 schools) and not Brooklyn College? Um, you did something.

This is water.

Googling “what are some great small colleges” beyond the ken of today’s youth.

DC follows the TikTok antics of a student at AU, she has a big following thus students nationwide have brand awareness.

Yes in 1990 a Brooklyn kid would not know about Bowdoin, that’s almost impossible today. They’re getting an email after the PSAT.

I didn’t know about the college I went to beforehand and nobody at my high school had EVER applied and nobody in my family was even remotely aware of its existence.

What sorcery was used to inform me? A mailer after the PSAT. This was in 1990.

great small colleges TikTok is how my dd came up with Cornell College, which has one of the highest drop out rates. Next!

But sure, Alabama does have a big online presence

[Anonymous]

my NMF got more fliers from Tennessee and Tulsa than Middlebury or Pomona.

it IS okay to help kids. sorry I don't buy everyone's "I didn't help at all and now he's at Williams" line. it's perfectly find to say, "I told him about a summer program I thought would be super interesting, explained early on how much we could afford and how FA and merit aid works, saved monthly for 18 years into a 529, explained how the new rules mean he could save some of that 529 and roll it into a Roth IRA, explained how certain professions pay more than others or require a graduate degree and how that impacts what he should pay for undergrads, took him on 11 college visits, took a day off and booked dand paid for 2 airline tickets, booked and paid for 5 nights in various hotels, attended an online seminar about paying for college, joined a couple weird online message boards, and had my sister read over his essays."

But I guess that doesn't have the same ring to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the point of this thread?

Apparently for parents to show how they are managing their own anxiety.

OP here. But that’s the thing - I started this thread for all of us who DON’T have anxiety over the process. There are 10,000 threads of parents freaking out. Can’t we have one non freak out thread?

But there was no question in your original post other than let’s brag about how our kids are better than others and/or let’s brag about how we are better parents. Either way, annoying even of one has a chill kid because bragging makes it not chill at all.

[Anonymous]

Every kid is different. You don’t have to put parents in a box just because they didn’t help or vice versa. Good grief. Know your own kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the point of this thread?

Apparently for parents to show how they are managing their own anxiety.

OP here. But that’s the thing - I started this thread for all of us who DON’T have anxiety over the process. There are 10,000 threads of parents freaking out. Can’t we have one non freak out thread?

But there was no question in your original post other than let’s brag about how our kids are better than others and/or let’s brag about how we are better parents. Either way, annoying even of one has a chill kid because bragging makes it not chill at all.

I specifically asked others to share their stories here. A way for like minded people to come together.

Have you talked to Jeff about making it a requirement for every OP to pose an actual question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every kid is different. You don’t have to put parents in a box just because they didn’t help or vice versa. Good grief. Know your own kid.

This is DCUM. Of course we do!

[Anonymous]

DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...

Only at the hands of those wound ridiculously tight. This thread was clearly not for them. Let the rest of us have our fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...

Only at the hands of those wound ridiculously tight. This thread was clearly not for them. Let the rest of us have our fun!

What fun would that be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I welcome anyone who has let their kids fill out their own applications, have NOT hired a counsellor or coach, and are letting this be their kids journey, not theirs.

Please come on in and share your stories!

Here’s mine - DD refused to let us look at her essays and supplementals - not even just to proofread. Wasn’t about to fight with her on that. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and I’m sure she will end up exactly where she belongs!

I have a child kind of like that too…will not let us see the essays…wants to “sink or swim” on their own. Part of me is impressed by the confidence and self motivation…part of me is frustrated as heck because I would like to at least proofread them.

IMO, it is a sign of immaturity and arrogance to want to “sink or swim” on your own for important things. Even the top people in any field get review & feedback and make changes based on it. It does not have to be a parent proofreading, it can be another trusted adult.

Meh, I did all that myself as a teen. My parents were barely involved. Not that they wouldn’t have been if I had asked, I just didn’t feel the need. I was a decent writer and wrote and edited my own essays.

I realize “times are different” or whatever, but some kids are confident in their abilities and it isn’t immaturity at all.

Meh, you didn’t even have one teacher or counselor who you trusted to read your essay. How sad for you :-/

Why is it sad? Teachers were writing recommendations for me. And asking for help with essays just wasn't a big thing in the 90s. We had a college counselor at our school if I needed him, but I was pretty self motivated and self assured. I managed to get into multiple schools on my own and don't regret anything about my process. I was actually only 16 doing all of this, too.

I didn't see any of this as life or death. I knew I was a competitive student for most schools and wasn't overly stressed by the process. I think we've made this process more stressful than it needs to be.

I graduated HS in 1988, my husband in 1990. We both did everything ourselves. This was the norm, not the exception. I grew up in Fairfax County at a HS where 95% went onto 4-year colleges. My husband grew up poor where less than half went to 4-year colleges.

He paid some woman to type his essays with his paper route $. I typed all of my essays in the high school typing lab (pre-computers)...with a whole jug of white-out.

My parents told me if I didn't want loans I could only apply in-state. That's what I did.

To say 2023 in the late80s-90s is different in college application process is a complete understatement. It's vastly different and the cost of college subtracting out for normal inflation is astronomically higher nowadays. The test optional and common app and kids applying to 10-15 schools vs 3-4 as the norm (which had to be physically mailed into the school) is another huge difference.

Like weddings--college prep has be come a huge $$$ business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I welcome anyone who has let their kids fill out their own applications, have NOT hired a counsellor or coach, and are letting this be their kids journey, not theirs.

Please come on in and share your stories!

Here’s mine - DD refused to let us look at her essays and supplementals - not even just to proofread. Wasn’t about to fight with her on that. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and I’m sure she will end up exactly where she belongs!

I have a child kind of like that too…will not let us see the essays…wants to “sink or swim” on their own. Part of me is impressed by the confidence and self motivation…part of me is frustrated as heck because I would like to at least proofread them.

IMO, it is a sign of immaturity and arrogance to want to “sink or swim” on your own for important things. Even the top people in any field get review & feedback and make changes based on it. It does not have to be a parent proofreading, it can be another trusted adult.

Meh, I did all that myself as a teen. My parents were barely involved. Not that they wouldn’t have been if I had asked, I just didn’t feel the need. I was a decent writer and wrote and edited my own essays.

I realize “times are different” or whatever, but some kids are confident in their abilities and it isn’t immaturity at all.

Meh, you didn’t even have one teacher or counselor who you trusted to read your essay. How sad for you :-/

Why is it sad? Teachers were writing recommendations for me. And asking for help with essays just wasn't a big thing in the 90s. We had a college counselor at our school if I needed him, but I was pretty self motivated and self assured. I managed to get into multiple schools on my own and don't regret anything about my process. I was actually only 16 doing all of this, too.

I didn't see any of this as life or death. I knew I was a competitive student for most schools and wasn't overly stressed by the process. I think we've made this process more stressful than it needs to be.

I graduated HS in 1988, my husband in 1990. We both did everything ourselves. This was the norm, not the exception. I grew up in Fairfax County at a HS where 95% went onto 4-year colleges. My husband grew up poor where less than half went to 4-year colleges.

He paid some woman to type his essays with his paper route $. I typed all of my essays in the high school typing lab (pre-computers)...with a whole jug of white-out.

My parents told me if I didn't want loans I could only apply in-state. That's what I did.

To say 2023 in the late80s-90s is different in college application process is a complete understatement. It's vastly different and the cost of college subtracting out for normal inflation is astronomically higher nowadays. The test optional and common app and kids applying to 10-15 schools vs 3-4 as the norm (which had to be physically mailed into the school) is another huge difference.

Like weddings--college prep has be come a huge $$$ business.

^and test optional has been an absolute game changer for the worse. It's jacked up the number of applicants to all schools by a ridiculous amount which inherently makes the entire process that much more competitive than the 90s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...

Only at the hands of those wound ridiculously tight. This thread was clearly not for them. Let the rest of us have our fun!

What fun would that be?

If you have to ask…

[Anonymous]

"just go to whatever school sends you a direct mail piece!" only on DCUM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"just go to whatever school sends you a direct mail piece!" only on DCUM

“Just willfully misinterpret whatever someone posts to troll 24/7!” Only on DCUM.