Invited neighbor friends over

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it either. Doesn’t bother me but I wouldn’t do it. I would change out of leggings into jeans and a top. I have a pair of flared yoga pants that can pass as pants so that might be the exception .! Dh wears his vionic flip flops almost everywhere because (he claims) they are the only comfortable shoes for his plants facsitisn, but he would pair with jeans. However we are in our early 50s so not up on the trend of 150$ Lycra pants.

Dude if your dh is pairing flip flops with jeans he is not getting dressed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For many people good manners is only for boomers and oh, they hate boomers. If I invited not often seen neighbors for dinner and I spent a good amount of time preparing it and they showed up in sweats I’d be polite and friendly but inside I’d be pissed. I might wear jeans to a very close friends home for a casual dinner. But I like to put in some effort given I know they are putting in a lot of effort.

Good manners that conform to random societal norms that don’t correspond to real life is for boomers.
Good manners that involve treating others with empathy and respect is for everyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I wouldn’t go to a neighbors for dinner if I had to dress up. I wear sweats around the neighborhood and friends come to our home in sweats. You should have told them it was dressy, and they would’ve decided if they wanted to put in the effort.

Just so random.
‘Just at my house across the street but for some reason I care what clothes you wear’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I'd clock that too. And I'd never do it. But I only own one pair of sweatpants that I got at the start of the pandemic, and they're currently lost in my closet/dresser. Recently I noticed a lot of people talk about their "cute" workout sets, and "cute" joggers. Nobody looks cute in these getups.

I guarantee you the feeling is mutual

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree Op. no one is saying you had to be “dressed up” but I’d at least wear nice jeans and a dressy top.

‘Dressy top’ lol
Tell me you’re middle class suburban without telling me you’re middle class suburban

So?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They don’t see going to their neighbors house for dinner as a dressy occasion - who would?

I would. And I'd also not go empty-handed.

Imagine this: someone invites you to dinner at their house. You show up, and they hand you a McDonald's sack, with a Big Mac and some fries. That is the hosting equivalent of showing up to a dinner in sweats.

[Anonymous]

Does this post belongs in the Relationships forum?

I’m with you OP. Wearing decent clothes shows respect and appreciation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work full time and get dressed up to go to the office, or for client dinners or to events etc. I would never think to dress up to go to a neighbors house unless a party. Assume op does not have full time job and does not go to events and thus to op - a dinner at her house is a dressy occasion - bht op for most that is not the case. Unless you are over 50 maybe

So best foot forward only when you are getting a pay check right? That's sad.

It’s really not sad.
It’s sad to think that someone coming to your house warrants getting dressed up. It’s sad bc it’s a huge mismatch between how important you think you are and how important you are.

Interesting choice of words.

So you only dress up for important people/ occasions. And your neighbor is not "important". You are telling us all we need to know about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree Op. no one is saying you had to be “dressed up” but I’d at least wear nice jeans and a dressy top.

‘Dressy top’ lol
Tell me you’re middle class suburban without telling me you’re middle class suburban

So?

+1.

Was that supposed to mean something. Most people are middle class suburban.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sweats. Never. Not if invited to dinner. I’d wear jeans, sure, for casual neighbor dinner. But I’d wear makeup and nice top too. Common courtesy.

Same.

Also, when they arrived I would have said something like, “wow, you guys went all out with your fancy sweatpants tonight!”

To which most people would respond, why are you so dressed up for dinner at home?

Because we are having guests over and if we’re sitting in the dining room table, we’re not wearing sweats, even in our own home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work full time and get dressed up to go to the office, or for client dinners or to events etc. I would never think to dress up to go to a neighbors house unless a party. Assume op does not have full time job and does not go to events and thus to op - a dinner at her house is a dressy occasion - bht op for most that is not the case. Unless you are over 50 maybe

So best foot forward only when you are getting a pay check right? That's sad.

It’s really not sad.
It’s sad to think that someone coming to your house warrants getting dressed up. It’s sad bc it’s a huge mismatch between how important you think you are and how important you are.

Interesting choice of words.

So you only dress up for important people/ occasions. And your neighbor is not "important". You are telling us all we need to know about you.

I'm 100% fine if you know about me that I do not consider going to my neighbor's house an 'event'.

[Anonymous]

I don’t have a real horse in this race but I’m struck by the sneering tone so many people here are using at being invited to a neighbor’s house for dinner. No, it’s not tea with the queen, but if someone graciously opens up their home to you and shows hospitality, that’s not nothing. So many people complain about being lonely, but then when someone makes an effort to reach out, it’s met with so little appreciation. Maybe people should stay home if going to someone’s house for dinner is such a chore that they can’t drag themselves out of whatever they were already wearing that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sweats. Never. Not if invited to dinner. I’d wear jeans, sure, for casual neighbor dinner. But I’d wear makeup and nice top too. Common courtesy.

Same.

Also, when they arrived I would have said something like, “wow, you guys went all out with your fancy sweatpants tonight!”

To which most people would respond, why are you so dressed up for dinner at home?

Because we are having guests over and if we’re sitting in the dining room table, we’re not wearing sweats, even in our own home.

it's just very provincial to have these rules. very 'middle class fancy'. Assume you also have 'live laugh love' sign and 'formal dinnerware' and care about type of napkins etc.
it's just not 'real' - like doesn't actually matter.
I grew up in the UK around a lot of very old school, 'titled' people - and normal, middle class people too. And the less 'actually' upper class, the more all these random rules were considered important. But the truly upper class people had impeccable manners, empathy, curiosity. But they couldn't give 2 sh*ts if you wore sweatpants unless it was actually a formal occasion like an event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a real horse in this race but I’m struck by the sneering tone so many people here are using at being invited to a neighbor’s house for dinner. No, it’s not tea with the queen, but if someone graciously opens up their home to you and shows hospitality, that’s not nothing. So many people complain about being lonely, but then when someone makes an effort to reach out, it’s met with so little appreciation. Maybe people should stay home if going to someone’s house for dinner is such a chore that they can’t drag themselves out of whatever they were already wearing that day.

right but i do think most people probably DON'T really want to go to their neighbor's house for dinner. If they're not a good enough friend that you can wear what you want, then it is a chore. What is fun about going to someone's house for dinner who is not your friend? Presumably if they are sweatpants ppl and OP is judgy, curtain twitching, too much free time and thus writing this post type, they probably dont actually especially like op and have noticed this. And just went to be polite. If they found out that op didn't like them and wont have them back, I can't imagine they'd care. was an obligation yes. dont ever assume you are doing someone a favor by asking them over for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Americans are simply slobs.