Vacation wife here. 4 month update

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Original post

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1103665.page

Like OP, I have also turned to DCUM in times of crisis (for me, husband’s alcohol relapse) when I wasn’t comfortable sharing yet with friends and family.

This is a powerful community, even for its faults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow PP this may be the most timely bump ever in dcum history because he moved out yesterday. Literally saw this bump as I woke up without him here for the first time.

Wait, what? Where did you see anything about him moving out?

In my real life lol I'm the OP

OP, when you have the energy if you feel like sharing more about the past year, I would be so interested to know. Many of us were so invested and you worked so hard to try to come back from what he did. I’m just so sorry he let you and your kids down.

+1, so sorry to hear this.

[Anonymous]

My working theory after more than a decade on DCUM is that a man who has a long-term, emotionally intense affair (whether physical or not) is too broken to fix the marriage. That’s a lot of deception for an extended period, and there’s no reason for it. Then there are the men who keep mistresses and hook ups for sexual variety and they are DEFINITELY not fixable. And then there is the occasional man who had a one night stand with a coworker and gives his wife access to the phone and doesn’t misbehave again. But something about this behavior is very addictive.

Vacation wife’s husband is in the first category no matter how much he claims he was “blackmailed” into sexting this woman for THREE YEARS. I’m honestly really sad things didn’t work out even though I didn’t have a ton of hope, her determination made me think “well, maybe?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bumping this old thread because it popped into my head and I would love to hear from OP how she is doing these days.

OMG PP! Are you the real DCUM psychic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bumping this old thread because it popped into my head and I would love to hear from OP how she is doing these days.

OMG PP! Are you the real DCUM psychic?

Lolol no! I’m the PP who bumped the thread and this is my first “psychic” moment. She just popped into my head last night. Weird!

I hope she’s having a pleasant first night with his cheating butt out of the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bumping this old thread because it popped into my head and I would love to hear from OP how she is doing these days.

OMG PP! Are you the real DCUM psychic?

Lolol no! I’m the PP who bumped the thread and this is my first “psychic” moment. She just popped into my head last night. Weird!

I hope she’s having a pleasant first night with his cheating butt out of the house.

Wow! And yes, I hope OP is enjoying some sense of peace.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure if I should be sorry for your update or excited for your new chapter. It really sounds like you gave it your all and really tried to make your marriage work. Sometimes those cracks can't be repaired, no matter how much glue you put on.

I hope to hear your story and how you came to this conclusion, I hope you have a peaceful night and a restful sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bumping this old thread because it popped into my head and I would love to hear from OP how she is doing these days.

OMG PP! Are you the real DCUM psychic?

Lolol no! I’m the PP who bumped the thread and this is my first “psychic” moment. She just popped into my head last night. Weird!

I hope she’s having a pleasant first night with his cheating butt out of the house.

NP. I find the fact that you bumped the thread, then she just happened to see it, to be pretty convenient. Not doubting you, but doubting her. Maybe it's really the OP who's come back to this topic, and I'm not one to call troll on DCUM, really, ever, but this is just a bit too perfectly convenient that she came back with A Big, New Development. Sorry to the original "vacation wife" if that really is her on this thread. I just have seen this happen before, where someone revives a thread and someone else jumps in to keep drama going.

If that really is her, well, I agree with the PP who noted that a sustained deception like the DH was pulling can't ever end well. His "putting in the work" was never sincere, sadly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bumping this old thread because it popped into my head and I would love to hear from OP how she is doing these days.

OMG PP! Are you the real DCUM psychic?

Lolol no! I’m the PP who bumped the thread and this is my first “psychic” moment. She just popped into my head last night. Weird!

I hope she’s having a pleasant first night with his cheating butt out of the house.

NP. I find the fact that you bumped the thread, then she just happened to see it, to be pretty convenient. Not doubting you, but doubting her. Maybe it's really the OP who's come back to this topic, and I'm not one to call troll on DCUM, really, ever, but this is just a bit too perfectly convenient that she came back with A Big, New Development. Sorry to the original "vacation wife" if that really is her on this thread. I just have seen this happen before, where someone revives a thread and someone else jumps in to keep drama going.

If that really is her, well, I agree with the PP who noted that a sustained deception like the DH was pulling can't ever end well. His "putting in the work" was never sincere, sadly.

I'm the PP who bumped the thread and I am real. I believe the OP who returned with the new development is also real, but we can choose to believe what we want. Sometimes the universe deals a weird coincidence, is my opinion.

I do agree that the DH's sustained lying for so long meant that he probably couldn't be reformed. I am not sure that his effort to make things better was insincere, but more that he was just too deeply flawed, and specifically, attention-seeking. Nothing she could have done because saving a marriage takes two. I am glad that OP is young (early 30s if I recall), has a good job, etc - all the things that will help her bounce back and find love again if she wants it. The original thread on this was 70 pages before it got locked so clearly a lot of interest in the story.

[Anonymous]

You have too much time on your hands…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Count me as another very frustrated on OP’s behalf that her husband contacted another woman about their problems, no matter how sweet or innocent his motives were. Seriously, what could he have been thinking?

Agree! ..Like seriously 😩

[Anonymous]

Op, this post was resurrected ti show you that whatever decision you made is the right one. It's fate. Give an update when you can.

[Anonymous]

OP, I stumbled across your story after discovering some serious lying with my husband. Hope you are doing well. If you are able, would love to read an update on what happened with the attempted reconciliation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I stumbled across your story after discovering some serious lying with my husband. Hope you are doing well. If you are able, would love to read an update on what happened with the attempted reconciliation.

Not OP but you may find this helpful. I think the latest update from vacation wife is the one where she makes an “appearance”

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1265953.page#29769065

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I stumbled across your story after discovering some serious lying with my husband. Hope you are doing well. If you are able, would love to read an update on what happened with the attempted reconciliation.

Not OP but you may find this helpful. I think the latest update from vacation wife is the one where she makes an “appearance”

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1265953.page#29769065

Thank you! What an idiot that guy was.