Another mom invited herself to my kid’s birthday party

[Anonymous]

Average for a 2nd grader is 7-8 and should be able to attend a birthday party for classmate without holding mommy's hand! If they can't they can't then the parent is doing something wrong! I travelled by plane by myself at age 7 and was not afraid or anxious.

[Anonymous]

It’s a public place first … so she just did the courtesy of asking. For my third graders party, 95% of the parents stayed. And most parties at our school are that way. For my fifth grader, 59% stayed. This isn’t the time to tell a mom she can’t stay with her kid.

For the Pp who was flying at 7 - that’s amazing - clearly you are a superior person and we’re superior at age 7- however, not everyone is so amazing and sometimes have struggles like anxiety, fear, autism, adhd, etc. empathy and perspective taking are key here.

[Anonymous]

OP I can’t imagine being annoyed by this to be honest. Just say yes. This is part of being a gracious host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Average for a 2nd grader is 7-8 and should be able to attend a birthday party for classmate without holding mommy's hand! If they can't they can't then the parent is doing something wrong! I travelled by plane by myself at age 7 and was not afraid or anxious.

Your experience is not everyone’s experience. You are really selfish and intolerant of you can’t imagine that some kids have different needs and experiences than you.

Please remember that for current 2nd graders their kindergarten year was remote with a handful of outdoor parties and no extracurriculars or school events. Their 1st grade year was fully masked, full of remote and outdoor events, and punctuated with long absences with people in quarantine. The social skills and experience navigating places like a trampoline park or laser tag venue are very limited. Most kids get the experience of going to these venues WITH a parent in k or 1st before being left to their own loosely supervised devices. Socially and emotionally the current 2nd and 3rd graders are not as mature as pre-pandemic kids in the same grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Average for a 2nd grader is 7-8 and should be able to attend a birthday party for classmate without holding mommy's hand! If they can't they can't then the parent is doing something wrong! I travelled by plane by myself at age 7 and was not afraid or anxious.

There are plenty of 7/8 yr olds who aren’t comfortable being dropped off with a random parent at a party venue yet. Further, this particular age group of kids lost a lot of early experiences w/ socialization (and parties) due to their pre-k and K years being totally disrupted by covid. You’re in the wrong, op. You should absolutely accommodate any parent who feels they need to stay. Plan a HH if you want to catch up w your two friends.

[Anonymous]

Geez I can’t believe you’re making a special VIP invite for your second grader’s bday party. Mean moms make mean kids,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, it’s rude of you to only welcome the parents you are friends with. Please don’t have an all class party if you’re going to be this rude.

+1 this isn't like bringing an uninvited sibling. I can't believe you have to be such a mean girl exclusionary mom about this. It's a kid birthday party and not weird for a few parents to stay while others will be glad to drop off and have time to themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Average for a 2nd grader is 7-8 and should be able to attend a birthday party for classmate without holding mommy's hand! If they can't they can't then the parent is doing something wrong! I travelled by plane by myself at age 7 and was not afraid or anxious.

There are plenty of 7/8 yr olds who aren’t comfortable being dropped off with a random parent at a party venue yet. Further, this particular age group of kids lost a lot of early experiences w/ socialization (and parties) due to their pre-k and K years being totally disrupted by covid. You’re in the wrong, op. You should absolutely accommodate any parent who feels they need to stay. Plan and HH if you want to catch up w your two friends.

Stop blaming Covid for everything! I can hear all the parents lamenting their kid didn't get into Harvard because of Covid!

[Anonymous]

That’s…incredibly mean. You are already planning to hang out with other parents. Why would you not include her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand you not wanting to have a random person there to entertain. But if that what needs to happen to make the kid or the mom comfortable it's the right thing to do.

It's a mom and she probably doesn't even want to be there. She won't need to be "entertained." This is some kiddo playspace not the Oscars. It's really not that big of a deal.

[Anonymous]

It’s very nice of you to invite all the children. I think you are underestimating how little time you will have to talk to your friends. Kids parties are loud, there is a lot of movement. Kids bump into each other, kids get upset, they lose things, you’ll need to make sure the room has enough drinks (yes I know it’s the venues job to do that but they can only move so fast and I’ve had to make sure drink pitchers were refilled) Let this mom come. She will likely be with her child. She isn’t there for you to entertain her. She is there to make sure her child is safe and happy. Please be kind. Not every child is ready to be left at a venue in second grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s weird to have a strictly drop off party at a venue like this, esp for 2nd grade. Drop off optional, sure, but not drop off only.

I agree. OP's got such a bad attitude about this whole thing I doubt she's trustworthy enough to watch a bunch of unpredictable kids while being distracted with family chit chat. I would not do drop off for a party at a venue at this age if I knew the grown up "in charge" was lax about supervision. OP ought to be grateful there's another pair of more responsible eyes on the kids.

Absolutely. She's a "cool mom" who just wants to spend this time talking to her own friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Average for a 2nd grader is 7-8 and should be able to attend a birthday party for classmate without holding mommy's hand! If they can't they can't then the parent is doing something wrong! I travelled by plane by myself at age 7 and was not afraid or anxious.

You have zero experience with children with special needs. Everyone isn't you.

[Anonymous]

Socializing with the adults while hosting a whole class of second graders without their parents? OP doesn't seem to understand what this party is actually going to be like. I probably wouldn't trust my kids with her as the supervision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My second grader invited all the kids in her class to her birthday party. We’re having it at a party venue and there’s enough room for all the kids, DH and myself, my parents, and two of my good friends whose kids are in DD’s class. A mom I don’t know texted me today asking if she could come to the party as well because her son is anxious and it would be easier for him if she were there. I’m a little annoyed because I was looking forward to this time to catch up with my two friends and my parents, and now we’ll have a random mom there as well. It’s going to feel a little more crowded. I asked DD about this boy and she said she doesn’t know him that well because he is quiet and doesn’t talk much. Can I just tell the mom sorry, it’s a drop off party or so I need to let her come too?

Learn to say "no"! If her kid is that anxious then it's better for him not to attend

Wow. Born without the empathy gene, I see.