Class mom communicates with her law firm work email but forgets to inform teacher's birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a class mom who only communicates using her work email with a highly visible "Partner at Law" title. She rarely volunteers in person and has recently forgotten to organize and inform us about the teacher's birthday. I've never met her in person, but she doesn't seem like a nice person. Thoughts?

Sounds like she's just very busy. Definitely volunteer to help if you have time. Over the years, we've rarely had a class mom organize a birthday celebration for a teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not normal to celebrate the teacher’s birthday

This. Not the role of the class mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not normal to celebrate the teacher’s birthday

Yes, it is.

No. After 10 schools, 19 years with kids in school and being a room mom 4 times myself, never ever was the teacher's birthday celebrated. Not the norm.

Hmm I've been in 6 schools in 3 different states and they all did it. Some schools do, some don't. Why are some people insisting that their way is the only way? Maybe your information is out of date since your kids are older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not normal to celebrate the teacher’s birthday

Yes, it is.

No. After 10 schools, 19 years with kids in school and being a room mom 4 times myself, never ever was the teacher's birthday celebrated. Not the norm.

Hmm I've been in 6 schools in 3 different states and they all did it. Some schools do, some don't. Why are some people insisting that their way is the only way? Maybe your information is out of date since your kids are older.

It’s OP who seems to be suggesting that this is standard.

Like PP, I have three kids who have gone to multiple schools and no they aren’t older. I have NEVER seen this nor would I find it appropriate to celebrate a teacher’s birthday, any more than it would be the role of the class parent to celebrate the principal’s birthday, or the janitor’s, or the office secretary’s. All of these are very important employees of the school but don’t need their birthdays acknowledged but the students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, law firm signatures and titles are often automatic, so I doubt she is purposefully adding. My firm has blocked Gmail on our laptops, so if class mom needs to send emails that aren’t doable from a phone, that’s probably why she’s using her work email. And if she’s a partner, she’s busy. Why isn’t her husband stepping up?

Lol why blame the husband. He didn’t volunteer to be class mom - she did. Does your husband do your work?

PP here, my gripe is mostly that OP blamed class mom for not volunteering, but said nothing of her spouse. I assume if one of them volunteered for things, OP would feel the family is contributing in-person in a fair way compared to the rest of the class parents. And frankly, yes, for school things, my husband and I share the load, and he in fact does more than I do because I’m often busy and have less flexibility, as I imagine is the case for class mom. Is there even a class dad position available? If not, should examine that inequity more closely.

Except here’s the thing: you have absolutely NO idea what the husband is doing and whether he’s pulling his weight. All you know is that he’s a man, and he’s not the room parent. And you’re extrapolating from there. It’s no different from me assuming that, say, because you’re a working mother you’re less invested in your kids’ upbringing than a SAHM.

Actually, none of you has any idea if there even is a husband.

Hmmm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not normal to celebrate the teacher’s birthday

Yes, it is.

No. After 10 schools, 19 years with kids in school and being a room mom 4 times myself, never ever was the teacher's birthday celebrated. Not the norm.

Hmm I've been in 6 schools in 3 different states and they all did it. Some schools do, some don't. Why are some people insisting that their way is the only way? Maybe your information is out of date since your kids are older.

It’s OP who seems to be suggesting that this is standard.

Like PP, I have three kids who have gone to multiple schools and no they aren’t older. I have NEVER seen this nor would I find it appropriate to celebrate a teacher’s birthday, any more than it would be the role of the class parent to celebrate the principal’s birthday, or the janitor’s, or the office secretary’s. All of these are very important employees of the school but don’t need their birthdays acknowledged but the students.

Well, I've seen all of that. My kids made cards for the principal's birthday recently. What is so terrible about wishing people happy birthday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not normal to celebrate the teacher’s birthday

Plus 1

+1 I’ve never once seen this done.

I see this in all my kids private schools. I wonder if this is a public vs private school thing.

No, it’s not. Each school has its own culture, whether public or private. Our public elementary has very engaged parents. There’s a parent liaison who coordinates with all room parents. Each room parent receives communications they’re supposed to pass on to all class parents about grade-specific things. They also distribute a form to room parents for the teacher to fill out at the beginning of the year. It asks when their birthday is, and then asks all their favorites: restaurant, candy, dessert, lunch, stores where they shop, hobbies, things they collect, etc. Room parents then collect money from parents and use the form to celebrate the teacher’s birthday, holidays, teacher appreciation, end of year.

Being engaged in the kids' education and classroom activities has nothing to do with celebrating teachers' birthdays.

“Engaged” might not have been the most appropriate word. Is there a word that encompasses “so eager to support teachers in any way possible that they’ll go to great lengths”? Right before winter break, teachers are encouraged to bring the gifts they’re giving their family members in to the school and students’ parents wrap the gifts for the teachers to save them time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a class mom who only communicates using her work email with a highly visible "Partner at Law" title. She rarely volunteers in person and has recently forgotten to organize and inform us about the teacher's birthday. I've never met her in person, but she doesn't seem like a nice person. Thoughts?

Apologies if others have covered any of these, but:

1. Signature blocks often are added automatically, and are difficult to modify or remove.
2. Law firms often block access to third party email servers for security reasons.
3. If you think you can do a better job as room parent, you should have volunteered at the beginning of the year, and you can still step up now.
4. I've never met you in person, but you don't seem like a nice person. And I trust my judgment a lot more than yours.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP that said law firm partner is not a flex in the DMV.
Signed,
A law firm partner who thinks her job is one of the least interesting/impressive of all the other moms I know.

[Anonymous]

Just to get this straight, you’re snarking on a busy working professional who has volunteered her time to help with her child’s school?

Listen to what you’re saying. You can be better, right? Come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to get this straight, you’re snarking on a busy working professional who has volunteered her time to help with her child’s school?

Listen to what you’re saying. You can be better, right? Come on.

+1
Maybe she agreed to do the class mom stuff (which at our school IS mostly sending emails) because she can't easily volunteer in the classroom. And maybe she didn't email about the teacher's birthday because, as many people have noted, it's not a super-common thing and she didn't even know that anyone expected her to.

But if you're dissatisfied, feel free to offer to take over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In what way does she seem like "not a nice person?"

+1 I think it’s OP who seems like “not a nice person.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never heard of celebrating a teacher’s birthday either, in public or private. Seems silly!

Another +1 for teacher’s birthday not being a thing that parents need to know about.

[Anonymous]

Who cares what email accounts she uses? And I don't keep track of volunteering in person or not. Volunteering is volunteering. My kids are in high school and college; never celebrated a teacher's birthday and also never heard of this happening with other mom friends. So what if she's not that nice? In all my years I've come across several parents, both volunteers and non-volunteers who seemed not so nice. Sometimes I've been right and other times I've been wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not normal to celebrate the teacher’s birthday

Yes, it is.

No, it's not.