Accused of racial bias at work by someone, and I feel sick over it

[Anonymous]

I am an Asian woman, though definitely not soft spoken. There is no way I’d have let someone steamroll me on an interview - I think there is some personal responsibility to make sure I am heard.

However, I’d be pretty POed if the other guy got majority of quotes/credit. Are you sure the female author is mad about the interview itself? This may not have even come up if the work product was more balanced among the two authors?

[Anonymous]

OP says in her OP that she tried to draw the woman out.

Not sure why she is being flamed here.

[Anonymous]

"Could one of you talk? I don't want to hear you."

why is this RACIAL bias?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I too was once accused of racial bias in the workplace -- in fact, I was sued over it and won the case -- so I totally understand the gut punch and defensiveness that you are feeling. I wouldn't reach out to the woman who you offended, because she feels what she feels and it's highly unlikely that whatever you say will in any way make her feel better.

But you should learn from your mistake, because yes you definitely made one. It was your job to make sure that the voices of both of your interviewees were equally heard, and not to allow the louder one to drown out the quieter one. In the future, work harder to make that happen. Don't pin the blame on the white guy here; this is on you.

Sorry.

Genuine question: So what about the person who is quiet and therefore less heard? Where is their responsibility?

Exactly, how was OP to know that the woman hadn’t decided to just left the guy do the talking? Obviously there was the unfortunate miscommunication where the woman thought OP told her to be quiet but all OP asked was for them to talk one at a time. Why would them OP assume anything was amiss when the woman didn’t chime in again?

[Anonymous]

It feels like there are lots of issues here:

1. Interviewee could have been drawn out more by interviewer
2. Person who set up the call should have explained who was first author and cued it up better
3. Loud dude shouldn't have steamrolled the conversation and been aware of the dynamic
4. The lead should have spoken more and clearly misheard being asked to speak up as a slight

None of it sounds racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I too was once accused of racial bias in the workplace -- in fact, I was sued over it and won the case -- so I totally understand the gut punch and defensiveness that you are feeling. I wouldn't reach out to the woman who you offended, because she feels what she feels and it's highly unlikely that whatever you say will in any way make her feel better.

But you should learn from your mistake, because yes you definitely made one. It was your job to make sure that the voices of both of your interviewees were equally heard, and not to allow the louder one to drown out the quieter one. In the future, work harder to make that happen. Don't pin the blame on the white guy here; this is on you.

Sorry.

Genuine question: So what about the person who is quiet and therefore less heard? Where is their responsibility?

Exactly, how was OP to know that the woman hadn’t decided to just left the guy do the talking? Obviously there was the unfortunate miscommunication where the woman thought OP told her to be quiet but all OP asked was for them to talk one at a time. Why would them OP assume anything was amiss when the woman didn’t chime in again?

She should have known when the woman who was so actively engaged shut down after OP’s reprimand. And, OP should have given equal play to both of she viewed them as co-authors. I am one who thinks OP really blew it here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I too was once accused of racial bias in the workplace -- in fact, I was sued over it and won the case -- so I totally understand the gut punch and defensiveness that you are feeling. I wouldn't reach out to the woman who you offended, because she feels what she feels and it's highly unlikely that whatever you say will in any way make her feel better.

But you should learn from your mistake, because yes you definitely made one. It was your job to make sure that the voices of both of your interviewees were equally heard, and not to allow the louder one to drown out the quieter one. In the future, work harder to make that happen. Don't pin the blame on the white guy here; this is on you.

Sorry.

Genuine question: So what about the person who is quiet and therefore less heard? Where is their responsibility?

Exactly, how was OP to know that the woman hadn’t decided to just left the guy do the talking? Obviously there was the unfortunate miscommunication where the woman thought OP told her to be quiet but all OP asked was for them to talk one at a time. Why would them OP assume anything was amiss when the woman didn’t chime in again?

She should have known when the woman who was so actively engaged shut down after OP’s reprimand. And, OP should have given equal play to both of she viewed them as co-authors. I am one who thinks OP really blew it here.

+1


I also think that we KNOW that men's voices get heard over women's, and certain races are overlooked in favor of others. We know some voices are silenced. So when you are part of marketing team, you actually would make an extra effort to get balanced voices.

[Anonymous]

The Asian woman should be apologizing to you for making false accusations because she misheard and misunderstood. It's her mistake.

-Asian woman

[Anonymous]

I hear you OP. I was accused of racial bias at my previous job by someone who had no context. I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing. Anyway, I felt terrible, emotional and powerless. You are entitled to your feelings. Communicate with your colleague about next steps. Share what you need to and see if there is anything you could do differently next time. You obviously did not intend to discriminate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are so many posters giving the authors a pass and blaming the OP for their joint behavior?

Male author steamrolled and took the lead that did not belong to him. Female author let him. If she was the lead (which OP did not know), she had every right to tell him to step back and let her answer, and she should have done so. It was her job to handler her underling. It was his job to be respectful of his superior.

OP's job was to be able to hear them, which is why she had to interrupt them unprofessionally talking over each other and ask them to take turns speaking.

This is a them problem.

Adding, that the female author still didn't stand up to the male colleague and instead blamed the OP, who clearly is an easier mark.

How do you know this?

It's possible that the author is blaming both.

And both are to be blamed. If OP did her homework and a review of her final product, she would have noticed that the product was partial.

[Anonymous]

I think the only mistake you made is to use very strange wording when you said you couldn’t hear them. Unless you’re not a native speaker, I would probably apologize for that.

Otherwise I would send her the recording and transcript and ask her to listen again because she’s misquoting you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I too was once accused of racial bias in the workplace -- in fact, I was sued over it and won the case -- so I totally understand the gut punch and defensiveness that you are feeling. I wouldn't reach out to the woman who you offended, because she feels what she feels and it's highly unlikely that whatever you say will in any way make her feel better.

But you should learn from your mistake, because yes you definitely made one. It was your job to make sure that the voices of both of your interviewees were equally heard, and not to allow the louder one to drown out the quieter one. In the future, work harder to make that happen. Don't pin the blame on the white guy here; this is on you.

Sorry.

Genuine question: So what about the person who is quiet and therefore less heard? Where is their responsibility?

Exactly, how was OP to know that the woman hadn’t decided to just left the guy do the talking? Obviously there was the unfortunate miscommunication where the woman thought OP told her to be quiet but all OP asked was for them to talk one at a time. Why would them OP assume anything was amiss when the woman didn’t chime in again?

She should have known when the woman who was so actively engaged shut down after OP’s reprimand. And, OP should have given equal play to both of she viewed them as co-authors. I am one who thinks OP really blew it here.

+1


I also think that we KNOW that men's voices get heard over women's, and certain races are overlooked in favor of others. We know some voices are silenced. So when you are part of marketing team, you actually would make an extra effort to get balanced voices.

OP wanted to get the best quotes for her article. That is her right. It’s not her fault that those came from the man.

- a woman

[Anonymous]

Honestly you need to develop a thicker skin as this is going to happen pretty frequently whenever you or a white client has a minor conflict with a POC with any ties to a university. So long as you didn't do something obviously racist just issue an apology modeled off the thousands you can find on Twitter - say this is a learning experience and you've grown etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you need to develop a thicker skin as this is going to happen pretty frequently whenever you or a white client has a minor conflict with a POC with any ties to a university. So long as you didn't do something obviously racist just issue an apology modeled off the thousands you can find on Twitter - say this is a learning experience and you've grown etc.

What if…and bear with me, I know this is a radical thought, but…what if OP actually used it as a learning experience and grows?

[Anonymous]

Where is the loudmouth male coauthor in all this? He seems to not be blamed for anything?