Is it becoming trendy for young (rich) kids to marry right after college?

[Anonymous]

The point is, is the trend changing for the people coming out of elite colleges? So for everyone who is chiming in saying things like, "I got married right out of college!"...we aren't interested in your data unless you went to a top tier school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I've observed getting married right after college is a trend for the wealthy or people attending higher rated universities.

I think it comes down the $. What other 22 year old kids have the money to buy a $20,000 ring and fly your college girlfriend to Paris or Italy to propose? Then a quick lavish wedding. The same rich families who can afford ritzy private school and exclusive private colleges.

We married right out of college. DH was not rich but did have a family ring (definitely worth nowhere close to $20k.) He proposed on campus and then we went out to a fancy restaurant in town. We probably had $1k between the two of us. My parents paid for our ($15k) wedding and his parents paid for our honeymoon. Then we started our life together as a broke married couple. 18 years later we are still happily together and no longer broke. It can be done.

I hear ya, it's just much easier to be a young whimsical romantic when you have dad's Amex (access to a trust grandpa left you, access to family jewelry, and can both move to New York City or San Francisco on a whim). And social media seems to be playing a part in this trend. It looks mature and serious to settle down quickly. Rich strivers seem eager to check that box and show off. It's really delightful to see, I just hope it's a trend that spreads to middle class kids as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I've observed getting married right after college is a trend for the wealthy or people attending higher rated universities.

I think it comes down the $. What other 22 year old kids have the money to buy a $20,000 ring and fly your college girlfriend to Paris or Italy to propose? Then a quick lavish wedding. The same rich families who can afford ritzy private school and exclusive private colleges.

We married right out of college. DH was not rich but did have a family ring (definitely worth nowhere close to $20k.) He proposed on campus and then we went out to a fancy restaurant in town. We probably had $1k between the two of us. My parents paid for our ($15k) wedding and his parents paid for our honeymoon. Then we started our life together as a broke married couple. 18 years later we are still happily together and no longer broke. It can be done.

Some of these rocks I'm seeing don't look cheap.

[Anonymous]

I have friends who went to state flagships and "top teir" ivys and SLACs.

There are a large number of couples who got married 1-3 years out of college or grad school (so 1-6 years after college) and then another large percentage who got married in the 28-30 range. basically two bumps for the most part.

This was early and late 1990's oestensibly.

[Anonymous]

I think social media and smart phones play a major role. Even 20 years ago it difficult to keep in touch with high school and college networks and anyone you dated. Most young couples in the 90s treated the end of high school or college like a funeral for their relationship. Now a days these kids are hyper connected to their high school and college friend group, building stronger years-long bonds, and comparing themselves to classmates.

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind, many people reading this website came of age in the 1970's and 1980's when sec, drugs and rock and roll were the norm. The "just say no" campaign and HIV/AIDS really changed things, and the "kids" coming out, say post 2015 or so, grew up in an environment that was very different in terms of attitudes around sex, drugs and alcohol.

[Anonymous]

I was just wondering about this, but from the opposite perspective. I went to a fairly conservative college and graduated in the mid 90's. A good number of my friends got married straight out of college, but I'm noticing that their kids are NOT getting married right away - even the kids that also went to very conservative colleges.

I was wondering if this was just a small sample size, or if conservative couples weren't getting married as young as they used to? But maybe my perspective is off - I dunno. I will say that none of these people are at all rich, and they probably wouldn't think of themselves as trendy either, so not exactly the theme of the thread, but still interesting to think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My four nieces (from my side and DH's) are 29-34, pretty girls, well educated and well settled but still skeptic about committing to marriage for the sake of marriage.

I have a friends like this and they really are wonderful so I think they will end up finding good matches but the pressure is getting to them as most of them want kids. I think, as you get older, there is almost more pressure to commit to marriage for the sake of marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The point is, is the trend changing for the people coming out of elite colleges? So for everyone who is chiming in saying things like, "I got married right out of college!"...we aren't interested in your data unless you went to a top tier school.

I believe the trend is changing and that data from posters here likely wouldn’t be relevant even if they went to a top school. Also, OP stated wealthy young people, not young people attending top schools.

[Anonymous]

Easy to play house at 22 or 23 when daddy lets you put an engagement ring on his Amex and "loans" you 200 grand for a down payment on a house or apartment in a major city.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’ll be the first to get divorced, too. This has been my experience with everyone I know who married right after college.

Could be but doubtful. Divorce rate is 50% plus. But for rich people -- as this thread covers -- divorce rate is less than 20%. The two doctors that marry in med school do not tend to divorce -- some will but vast majority will not. Same for law school.

As to the original question -- yes that is what I am seeing -- rich kids are getting married in their early 20s and it does seem more than in the past. I agree with PP that there always have been college sweethearts that got engaged but now it is expanding at least from what I have seen. Why? Not sure. Could be they looked at their older parents and decided that was the way to go. Could be because they have no student loans, high income potential right away, will get help from parents possibly on both sides to buy house and for other things.

Whether it is good or not others can judge. I am not one who thinks you wait if you have the right person. Trick is making sure right person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The point is, is the trend changing for the people coming out of elite colleges? So for everyone who is chiming in saying things like, "I got married right out of college!"...we aren't interested in your data unless you went to a top tier school.

I believe the trend is changing and that data from posters here likely wouldn’t be relevant even if they went to a top school. Also, OP stated wealthy young people, not young people attending top schools.

While not one and the same for this purpose -- one and the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t live in DC anymore so the culture is different but. The richest family I know has a daughter who is a senior in college and already married and the college sophomore daughter is getting married over the summer. They aren’t super religious IMO but they do go to church. I support young people getting married but dang, that’s early! Lol.

I think this must be trending on social media or something? Many are getting engaged their senior year to set up a quick wedding. Rep. Sean Duffy and Rachel Duffy's daughter was engaged during college and married right after. I think she's only 21 because she graduated from UChicago in three years instead of four.

I went to Chicago and it has a weirdly high quotient of couples who got together at college and married. I knew a few, not EVERYONE but more than random.
I think it was a bragging point in one of their recruitment materials at one time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’ll be the first to get divorced, too. This has been my experience with everyone I know who married right after college.

Yup-- starter marriage. Nothing new OP.

So with the people we are talking about it is hard to disengage. Some will do it of course as there have to be some bad matches. And if you just focused doctor/doctor marriages --- some will be a'holes on both sides so yeah there will be some divorces. But for the most part those couples are not going anywhere. Not in their interests. Same for lawyer/lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’ll be the first to get divorced, too. This has been my experience with everyone I know who married right after college.

Could be but doubtful. Divorce rate is 50% plus. But for rich people -- as this thread covers -- divorce rate is less than 20%. The two doctors that marry in med school do not tend to divorce -- some will but vast majority will not. Same for law school.

As to the original question -- yes that is what I am seeing -- rich kids are getting married in their early 20s and it does seem more than in the past. I agree with PP that there always have been college sweethearts that got engaged but now it is expanding at least from what I have seen. Why? Not sure. Could be they looked at their older parents and decided that was the way to go. Could be because they have no student loans, high income potential right away, will get help from parents possibly on both sides to buy house and for other things.

Whether it is good or not others can judge. I am not one who thinks you wait if you have the right person. Trick is making sure right person.

Maybe because there is literally no good reason to wait? Who the heck wants to "play the field" and date random weirdos for another 8 to 10 years off dating apps. For what? It's a pointless waste of time and puts them behind the eight ball in wealth building (co-own house, retirement, look stable and mature to bosses) and you're a thousand times less likely to need ivf to have children.