Catholicism to Unitarian Universalist
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Anonymous
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I know there are a number of recent threads on Catholicism and some about folks leaving the Catholic Church. I thought this was specific enough to merit its own thread for some personal advice.
Even before the recent/further revelations about additional sexual abuse in the Church, I have been struggling with belonging to the Church/my Catholic parish. I was raised Catholic and completed all sacraments including being married in a Catholic church (with a dispensation because my husband is [non-practicing] Jewish), and having both our kids (6 and 4 now) christened in a Catholic church. But for several years since my kids were born, I have not really gone to Mass much, nor have I taken the kids. For a brief period I found a parish I really liked when my son was younger, and they had a nursery offering for toddlers while adults attended Mass upstairs. I felt like I got so much more out of Mass when I went by myself. But we moved away and I couldn't find another parish with a nursery. Then, it was simply too difficult to take both kids myself when my daughter was a baby, and since my husband is Jewish he was not inclined to attend Mass (which is fine with me, just logistically challenging). Occasionally I would leave the kids with him and go myself, but over time it became far less a habit. At least, these are the conscious reasons for not going, but recently I have been reflecting on the more subconscious reasons. I have found over and over again that my important non-spiritual beliefs do not align with the rigid constructs of Catholicism. Specifically I am looking for a religion/congregation that supports my beliefs in: - inclusivity, accepting of all people regardless of sex orientation, gender identity, sex, background - science and the laws of nature for lack of a better phrase - tenets and practices of equality and social justice that I don't feel supported by the Catholic Church - that the Bible is NOT the be-all, end-all "Word" on humanity and spirituality and the teachings of other major religions in the world are not wrong/bad - spirituality and a higher power (in my case I do believe in God and Jesus, and I would maintain that belief regardless), but that one doesn't necessarily need a narrowly structured religion to experience and practice spirituality and have a relationship with God And after reflection I do know that I want my kids and I to have *some* kind of religious/spirituality-based structure in our lives, just something broad and fitting with my/our beliefs from other areas of life too. I have been in a push-pull with attending Mass and not, based on the idea that I "had" to stick with the Catholic Church. Certainly some of that is influenced by my mom who routinely attends Mass and does expect us to. In considering all that, I was thinking that Unitarian Universalist might be a better fit. To be honest I don't know *that* much about it, but from what I do understand of it, it aligns nicely with some of these broad beliefs. My hand does feel a little "forced" at reflecting on this and making some decisions because if I do ultimately decide to stay in the Catholic Church, I want to invest more time into participating and bringing my kids into the Church and since my son is in 1st grade we are approaching the time for him to start catechism for preparing to receive communion. Does anyone have any experience having left Catholicism and "converted" to UU, specifically? Any recommendations of good books to read about UU? I was thinking about reading a book on it to learn more, and also finding a local UU congregation and going to a service. |
Anonymous
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definitely go to a few services and read online at the general UU website to get a feel for it.
It's very different from Catholicism -- very low on tradition and formality and very hgh on community and inclusiveness. You'll find some former Catholics there -- and Jews too |
Anonymous
Thank you! Yes partly the formality is off-putting, though admittedly I found comfort in some Catholic formality/ceremony for a long time growing up. I'm sure we would maintain some of our personal family traditions like celebrating and talking about the underpinnings of Easter and Christmas, and if we were with my Mom on those holidays we would likely go to Mass, but really want to have a day-to-day, week-to-week spiritual community that focuses, like you said, on inclusivity. |
Anonymous
| Raised Catholic, joined UU. It was a great church. Go check it out. Sounds like a fit. |
Anonymous
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TL;DR
If you want a boring, empty creed, UU is for you. What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness? Someone who goes door to door with nothing to say. |
Anonymous
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Find whatever meets your needs. Sound like this is what you believe in.
I know UU isn’t for me. I’d convert to Judaism or Islam first. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like a good fit, and might be for your husband as well. I grew up UU and roughly half the congregation was composed of Christian/Jewish couples looking for a spiritual home. You should go check out a service, speak to some of the members at coffee hour and see how you like it. |
Anonymous
Rude. What exact experience do you have with a UU church? Have you attended one? |
Anonymous
OP here, I get that is a joke but for one thing, isn’t Unitarian something on its own, that was then joined with a Universalist concept and made UU? For another, I don’t need to have something “to say” about my religion — that is the point. |
Anonymous
None, I suspect. pp is probably a Catholic who is trying to justify her decision to stay in the church despite its corruption. |
Anonymous
Thank you. Do you still participate in a UU church? |
Anonymous
Interesting. Thank you for your thoughts. — OP |
Anonymous
| Another Catholic in a similar situation here. I’ve been church shopping for a few months and can say that UU isn’t for me either. Intellectually, I think they’re great. I like the emphasis on social justice and inclusion. However, at some basic level I missed the ritual and doctrine of the Catholic Church. Even though I don’t think there’s meaning in the rituals of Catholicism, the rote prayers and formula of mass were always comforting to me. I don’t have a church yet but have found that generally I feel more at home in Protestant churches than in the UU church. |
Anonymous
| Try episcopal! |
Anonymous
| I went as a kid some. For me it’s too amorphous to offer spiritual direction. The atmosphere was like a conference room at a big, liberal, contentiously run nonprofit. It was interesting but didn’t have the mystery I like in my religion. As a kid I was also uncomfortable with the sex ed curriculum used in the high school religious ed program. In theory as an adult I think it is ok, but as a sporadic attendee I didn’t feel comfortable enough with the other kids or leaders to want to talk about such personal things. My take was that UU would be a great fit for an older couple looking for community primarily, but it’s pretty far from main line churches. |